We know you'd be with us if heaven wasn't so far away -- Fall 2018

I gave Juniper's hand a squeeze and then went up to Dad by myself.  I took a slow breath in and let it out just as slowly.  "I don't even know what to say," I said quietly, my voice cracking slightly.  "You were always there... you and Mum.  For awhile she only saw me at my worst... but you got to see me as myself.  Whatever you said to her and the way she saw me, well, I can't believe you opened your home to me.  You saved my life many times over.  I-I don't know what I'm going to do without the two of you.  You both counseled me when I went in search of my biological mum's side of the family... you never judged me for who my family was... I just... thank you.  Thank you so much.  I love you ...and now you're gone.  I don't know how, but I'll make sure Will and Lucy are okay for you guys.  I promise." 

It was the least I could do after everything that Remus and Chloe had done for me.  And I knew that Dad thought it was too much to ask of me when I saw him one of the last times before now.. but it was something i wanted to do.  Ihad a feeling he said the same thing to the other two,too.

It was time to say goodbye... for good.  My tears were already falling as I was just knowing this was the last time I could see my dad.  Granted, I could always go talk to him... but I would never see him again.  I waited until Lincoln left him.  When he walked by me, we hugged each other tightly.  With a deep breath, I approached my dad.

"Daddy," I started out quietly, wiping away some tears, though more just kept falling.  "Thank you for helping me through everything.  I love you so much... I'm so happy that you made it back to us after you lost your memory.  I didn't know what I woudl do without you then... and now you're never coming back.  We'll all miss you... there are so many people here for you," I added, knowing that he would not believe it.  "Despite everything you ever thought about yourself, so many people loved you for who and what you were.  You taught me to never judge people.  Thank you for everything.  And, Daddy, I will always love you."

"I think the kids are finishing their goodbyes... they should be here soon," I said to her.  I looked around and did not see them yet.  I purposely ignored her question about how I was holding up.  One moment, I thought that it would be okay and that I could get through it... and then the next I was hating myself forever because I never apologized to Remus... and then the next I realized I would never get to see Moony ever again.

Sirius Black wrote:I couldn't stop tears just wouldn't stop coming as I pulled myself into a ball as I couldn't force myself to walk. I couldn't do it. Her arms around me I tried to take strength from her but I couldn't do, sobs racking my body. Trying to contain myself I know the kids were still here I couldn't stop myself if I wanted to.

His sobs broke my heart and I held onto his as tightly as I could.  I wished there was something I could do for my husband.  Tears were silently falling down my cheeks, but I was not going to fully break until I was away from Sirius.

Sedona Black wrote:I watned to smack Ryan for the annoying way he was talking.  I knew we were all grieving.  But still.  I gave nana Cathie a big hug.  "We're going to miss him, too," I said to her.

I nodded, understanding how they felt.  "Of course," I assured her, giving Sedona a hug.  I had not seen Nate since I left the funeral.  Was he still there with Lucy, Will, and LIncoln?  I was trying to comfort the young kids... but where was my son?

I just lost my brother.  I felt like someone ripped out my heart.  I went up to say my final goodbye and I felt a wave of anger wash over me -- like normal whenever I lost somone.  I was so angry when Dad left, too.  And then there was Chloe.  I at least had Remus for both of them.  Now who did I have to help me with the anger?  I gripped the railing that was in front of the casket as I looked down at Remus.  The serene look on his face... well, how could I be mad at him for leaving?  He was finally at peace.  He did not have to fight anymore. 

Tears burned my eyes as I thought about how hard it was for Remus with everything.  They fell freely from my eyes, falling upon my brother.  I cared not.  I did not even bother to wipe them away.  One of my first best mates ever was gone... And I could find nothing to say to him because there was just too much to say in general.  How could I sum up that much time in my life?  I closed my eyes and managed to say, "Thank you... and I'll always love you..."

it was just me against the world now.  I could not go back home... I just could not.  I left and went back to where us guys would all just hang out -- the old rickety tree house that the three of us built when I was just a little kid.  Well, I mostly just talked because I was only five, but still.  I stayed in there even though it was chilly.  I sat on the floor and wrapped my arms around myself and put my forehead on my knees and I sobbed.

Parker Weasley wrote:"Too much," I replied sadly.  Walking into the kitchen, I realized that Gran was gone, but others were in there.  I got us some cups and filled them with warm water and put in the tea leaves.  We each added our own little extras and went to a different room where there were less people. 

"Everything is going to feel so odd, won't it?" I asked her as we sat down.

I looked at Parker and nodded.  "Definitely," I said to him, taking a sip of tea.  "I'm not sure how any of us are going to handle it once the shock wears off..."

I had no idea how everyone was doing, so I started to make rounds.  I wrapped my arms around myself as I started to talk to everyone.

Elliot was right; we were all in shock.  "I know what you mean... we barely got ourselves under control from Grandma's death a year ago... now Gramps... I just hope that nothing else happens," I said quietly.  "I don't even know what else could happen, you knwo?"

I went to Penny.  I put a hand on the small of her back and bent down so she could hear me, but without others hearing me.  "I just saw Nate rush out of here... should someone go after him?  Or... well, we could let Faith handle him," I said, though I knew that Penny was really worried about Nathaniel.

Leopold Greyback wrote:

Abel Matthews wrote:

Leopold Greyback wrote:I walked around the house that was quickly filling with people, but it just seemed so empty without Gramps telling stories and Grandma trying to correct those stories.  I sighed, realizing that Dona had left me to be by myself a bit.  I ended up seeing Abel.  I walked over to him.  "How are you holding up?" I asked my cousin, having a feeling that he was doing about the same as me.  And I was miserable.

I looked up and saw Leo. I gave a small shrug, "Okay, I guess." I really had no idea how I was. I was survivng but I didn't think I was really okay. "How about you? How are you doing?" I was happy for the distraction. I never did well when I was left alone with thoughts like this, it brought back too many memories.

I gave the same noncommittal shrug as Abel had done.  "I mean, I just... I really don't know what I'm going to do," I admitted, knowing that I would not say any of this to anyone else except Charlie really.  Charlie understood; he had lycanthropy to deal with... just like I had vampirism to deal with.  Gramps helped so much when I was first bitten... and it really has not been that long ago.  Even though one of the last times I saw Gramps, he nearly lost control of Boris's desire to come after me.  That was something I would never tell anyone he did because it was not his fault.  It was Boris.  It was the beast that eventually got to Gramps... which made me think that, one day, I would lose my battle, too.

<< IDK who all knows that Leo is a vampire... but maybe he had a talk of "coming out" to his older cousin?  Sort of a bonding moment for the two of them?  Because Abel would have noticed the changes, you know? >>

<<I love that idea!! Maybe we should have a thread where Leo tells Abel or something...... >>

I put a hand on my cousins shoulder. "You know if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here right?" I would always be there for my family. "Just because Gramps isn't here anymore doesn't mean you have to go through anything alone." I might not understand what Leo was going through as well as Gramps had, but he was family and I would always be there to help.

I rubbed the back of my neck and looked at Abel, nodding.  "Thanks, mate," I said to him.  "You have no idea how that makes me feel..." I knew it sounded stupid, but a weight really was taken off my shoulders.  I would not go to some of my other family members about the things I had to go through with my vampirism.  It was not that I did not trust them, because I did, it was just that I did not want to worry them.  Even though I did not want Abel to threat, we had a pretty good bond and I knew he would not completely panic if I said I lost control or something.

Lucy and I left and went to the cottage.  I saw people being remourseful, but also a few with smiles on their faces.  At least we were celebrating their life rather than mourning it completely.  I went ahead of Lucy and got her some tea. "Here... drink this," I said to her quietly.  It might help her.

I sighed.  "I'm going outside," I said, wanting to get air.  That was when I saw Stan... he was with Uncle Evan... okay, not really my uncle, more my cousin, but still.  I went elsewhere so I could be by myself.  I was not going to be able to handle this.  I saw Nate, but only for an instant.  It was fall, so it was not entirely chilly out.  I quickly stripped down to my boxers and splashed into the water.  I just wanted to rid myself of everything.  The water was cold, but it made all pain go away.  it numbed my entire body... and mind.

I sighed as Ryan went off to be by himself.  Everythign was tough on all of us.  We were all practically family.  I looked at Nana Cathie.  "I'm sorry about him..." I said, trailing off.  Ryan was never good at handling loss.  In the last year we lost Mum, Auntie Chloe, and now Uncle Remus... it was just too much.  I had no idea what else we were going to be able to go through so close together like this.