There's no use trying to save me; There's devils in heaven, there's angels in hell -- Fall 2018

It had been a rough summer for the Matthews family -- Uncle Lincoln had lost his adoptive dad.  It was hard enough the year before when they lost Grandma Chloe... but then to lose Grandpa Remus the year after?  I could not believe it!  It was just so hard for everyone.  They touched so many people's lives.  It just seemed weird that everyone is on the verge of trying to get passed their own grief.  The entire school seemed rocked by the death of the Headmaster.  However, Headmaster Longbottom was going to throw a Christmas Formal to try to lift everyone's spirits.  It would be interesting at least.  I just wished I had a date.  I could not wait for it, really.  I was sure that Headmaster Lupin would want people to celebrate life rather than grieving.  It would just be odd, I thought.  The school was talking nonstop about it already, though.  Girls figuring out Hogsmeade dates to go get dresses and the boys groaning about having to ask for a date.

I had to find the fine line between hiding my girly side and acting like a tomboy about the whole thing.  I ran into Killian and saw that he had just left his sister.  "Hey Killian," I said to him, getting his attention.  "Lex bothering you again?" I chuckled slightly, knowing the answer to that.

I looked over at Dana and shrugged.  "Something like that," I said to her indifferently.  I figured that Dana would be talking to me bout the dance - that was what Alexa wanted to speak to me about.  Make sure that I did not mess anything up for her if a boy asked her.  "What's up?" I asked as we walked back towards the castle.

I shrugged and smiled at Killian.  I had to find that fine line while talking to him.  I really wanted him to ask me to the dance, but I was definitely not going to bring it up to him.  "I'm just trying to escape the girls in the common room," I said to him, laughing slgihtly to cover up any nerves.  "All this talk about the dance... I can't do it... they are so annoying..."

I raised an eyebrow.  "You're not the least bit interested or excited about it?" I asked.  I was highly doubtful of that.  I knew that Alexa wanted me to ask Dana to the dance, but how could I?  We were mates.  But I figured that Lex just wanted me to be occupied so she could go off and snog whoever asked her -- if anyone dared to.  "I find that surprising," I added, looking over at Dana.  Of course she was not the typical girl, but I had expected her to act like one when it came to something like this.

I smiled and shrugged.  I was trying to be nonchalant, but Killian kept asking me about it... it was hard not to be all giddy.  Besides, I tried really hard not to be a girly girl anyways.  "I mean, don't get me wrong, I think it'll be a great time," I assured Killian.  "But.. well, I'm just not into getting a poofy dress and stuff."

I nodded at her while she talked.  I could tell that Dana was excited about it even though she did not want to fully admit it.  I stopped and looked at her.  "Look, it makes sense to be excited about it," I said to her.  When that elicited a smile, I continued to walk.  "And, no, I don't think a poofy dress would suit you... though I could see you being a princess -- more than, say, my sister."

I laughed and nodded.  "Oh yea, Lex is definitely no princess," I siad.  "But don't ever let her know I said that."  I felt my eyes widen as I stared at Killian.  "I know it'll be fun... for the most part."

I smirked.  "Trust me, she already knows that she's no princess," I assured Dana.  I had my hands in my pockets as we walked.  "I agree with that sentiment," I acknowledged.  "I think that it'll be hard for the school; I mean, you know.  a lot of the school was knew Professor Lupin personally... and he always made sure students felt good with their studies and in the school in general.  It was nice... he was a great headmaster and everything."  

My dad always looked up to Uncle Moony -- and I did, too.  We all did.  The Potters, Blacks, everyone... Uncle Moony was fantastic.

I laughed at Killian.  I nodded at him.  "I know... he always made sure that I had extra warm socks in the winter because my feet always got cold," I said, laughing at the memory.  "It is okay for me to smile, right?  It just seems everyone is getting so depressed about him... I'd rather remember teh good memories, you know?"

I looked at Dana, a bit surprised.  "Of course you can smile about him," I said to her gently.  "I think that's why Headmaster Longbottom is having this Masquerade Ball... to help the student body with the loss of one of the best headmasters Hogwarts had ever seen."

I took a deep breath and nodded.  "I hope you're right," I said to him.  "It'd be best for everyone to start smiling and remembering him for all the good he's done.  I mean, look at my uncle... his own kids... the Collins family has him to thank... and so many others.  Your dad... the Blacks.. the Potters... every single student who has ever been to this school while he was here he has helped in some way..." I just wanted people to remember the good.  I felt tears come to my eyes and I sighed.  "Sorry, I can't help this."  I motioned towards my face when I said that.

Slightly awkwardly, I put an arm around Dana's shoulders, squeezing her for a bit.  "I wouldn't expect anything less," I said to her simply.  "I mean, you're right.  There is so much that he helped with for so many people."  No one could lie about that.

I was surrpsied that Killian put an arm around me; it was nice.  But I could not think that.  We were just mates.  I leaned into him nonetheless.  He was just being kind, right?  I could accept it.  "That's true," I said to him quietly.  "I just hope that the family and the school will be able to heal after this masquerade party that brings everyone together for something good for a change."

I squeezed her a bit and then let her go.  "I hope so, too,' I admitted.  It had been a rough year for everyone it seemed.  "I'm sure it will.. it's something that he would have wanted, you know?"

It felt wonderful to have Killian squeeze me closer, but I must not think of that.  I nodded, trying to focus on what he was saying.  "That's true.. he woulnd't want us all wallowing in sadness or anything like that," I said to him honestly.