Our Little Secret -- May 1975

Okay, totally not what I expected. "Ember... this is not a good idea! What were you thinking? You're just going to get your heart broken, you realize that, right?" I mean, I understood why she liked them. THey were hot. But seriously... go for the people you know you can get...

I sighed. "Tobi... I don't need you to tell me how crazy this is; I already know. But if it doesn't work out then I'll be fine with that. Then at least I'd know... I just hate the unknowing," I confided, picking at my nails and not looking at my friend.

I looked at Ember. "Alright. What dress did you pack?" I asked. If she was goign to try to get Remus she had to look older than 13. I was sure we'd have to go out and buy her a nice little push up bra as well. She wasn't the most breasty at the moment. I mean, she was 13. I just developed a little earlier for my age hence why I knew all the tricks in the book. "And when is teh wedding?"

I stood up and hugged her. "Oh thank you!" I said as I opened my bag and pulled out the dress. "We're just going to the reception... he doesn't want to make a scene at the church," I explained to my friend, "and it's in like 48 hours. So not tomorrow night but the night after. Do you think this will work?" I asked, worried. I didn't have that many nice dresses.

I shook my head. "ember... if you want him to maybe fall in love with you, you need something better," I said. "We'll go shopping tomorrow to get stuff for your nails -- they look dreadful so stop picking at them! -- and we'll get a new dress and underwear to match," I explained with a grin. "Now... it's awfully late and I am really tired. so can we hit the hay and have a blast tomorrow planning your attack?"

I grinned and got in her queen sized bed with her. "Alright, sounds like a plan," I said settling in. She laid next to me and we talked a little bit more but we both drifted off to sleep.

The morning came around and her mum and step-loser were already gone -- which was perefct since they didnt' knwo I was there. We ate breakfast, got dressed, and were gone to the mall before noon. "So where are we going first?" I asked her. I was so surprised that we were at a Muggle mall. Tobi's mum would kill her.

"First thing: The dress. Then match everything else to it," I said. I took her hand and drug her to the best dress store in the hplace. "Just let me do the choosing... I know what will make him think you're older than you are and the right girl for him when he sees you," I told her. "But you will have to try them on of course." I picked out quite a few dresses and tossed Ember into a dressign room. "Come out with each one, girl." I sat down and waited.

It was horrible. I tried on the first five and Tobi vetoed them straight away. They were all kind of awkward on me... I didn't feel comfortable in them. But Tobi knew what she was doing. I stayed in teh room while Tobi found a few more dresses to try on. She was looking kind of doubtful handing them to me. "Tobi, if we don't find one I'll just where the other one," I told her once... but didn't try to say it again with the look she gave me.

Finally, on the last dress... I tried it on and it complimented my skin quite nicely. I thought it was a little bit low cut for me... but I'm sure Tobi had a plan with that. It hugged my curves (or what curves I already developed anyways) beautifully. I did look older than 13 which was what we wanted. As soon as I stepped out, Tobi was so excited that we had to be quieted by one of the associates that worked there. "Sorry," we muttered as we moved towards the mirror again. "This is it?" I asked her to be sure.

I nodded and grinned. "Yep! Now get dressed so we can pay and get some matching shoes," I said. I pulled out my beautiful gold card. "One good thing about my step-loser is that he maeks sure I have money. He jsut doesn't know I put it towards a Muggle credit card," I whispered. "So don't worry about a thing." I nkew that look in her eyes when she glanced at teh price. "Now c'mon! We have work to do!"

I couldn't even argue with Tobi. I was too excited. I couldn't believe that Mum and Dad were letting me go out in the first place... even though I didn't tell them the whole truth either. I said it was a wedding Tobi had to go to and she wanted me to go, too. So naturally they agreed.

Everything was settled and in line. Ember and I reached the wedding and I couldn't believe how extravagant it all was. I just looked at her and said, "Ready? Because I'm not."

I took Remus's hand and said, "If you're unsure... there's no pressure. She doesn't even know you're coming." But without an answer, he started walking forward so I joined him. I wasn't sure what to expect of all of this. I mean... maybe his mother would be happy to see him. She did invite him afterall.

At first I didn't see her. Then I saw her face from across the crowd. I didnt' need the big white dress to tell me it was her. She looked right at me and her face changed a little bit from the happiness it had held to something else. I would've thought she would be happy to see me since she's the one who invited me. I didn't go up to her, I was going to make her come to me. And she did after a little while.

"Remus," she said, looking at me and then to Ember. "I didn't think you'd come."

Her voice sent chills down my back. That was not the tone of a loving mother. I squeezed Remus's hand again. I wasn't sure how he took that or if it was just me.

I just sort of stared at her.  Where was this tone coming from?  I had no idea.  She apparently wanted me here.  "Erm... I had gotten an invitation," I offered up.  "I thought you wanted me to..."

My mother sighed.  "Randolf's daughter sent it.  Apparently she felt bad for you.  There was no way to take it back, obviously," she told me.  I could hear the disdain in her voice.  "I just didn't think I had to worry about it.  Remus... you're ruining everything again," she spat, though it almost looked like there was pain in her eyes.  Pain and regret.  "If you want to stay, then do so.  Just... don't touch anything or harm anything."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  "I'm giving you a second chance," I said quietly.  I wasn't sure if I could just leave... without knowing everything.

My mother stopped and turned to look at me.  "And why on earth would I want a second chance with you?  You're an animal.  It was all your father's fault... I saw you that night get attacked and knew there was nothing that we could do.  I argued with your father not to go into your room... just let you die in there like the animal you would become.  But no.  Your soft-hearted father wanted to save you.  And when I saw the red in your eyes I knew what you had become.  I stayed until the next full moon just to see if I was right... and low-and-behold.  I was," she ranted in a quiet whisper.  "I wanted to take you in... we could always start over with a new child.  I didn't sign up to be the mother of an animal, but to be the mother of a human.  You were not it.  I could not deal with any more of the Wizarding world that was becoming as dark as what you did."  She looked as if she was going to walk away, but instead she slapped me.  "How dare you come here and ruin this day for me!"  she said in a fierce voice, but she wasn't yelling.  "Leave.  And I don't EVER want to see you again."

She walked away from me... I was stunned.I had never known she had tried to just let me die.  maybe it would've been better.  Easier on my father... I couldn't move.  I felt Ember tugging on my arm but I couldn't move.  I felt an anger rising up in me and I wasn't sure if I would be able to control it.