Can I Tell You a Secret? -- Christmas Break 1991 (DONE)

I had been told by my father not to tell anyone that he was alive... but I needed to tell someone.  I was not about to tell Mum; she was happy with Michael now and there was no way that I would ruin that.  Besides, Michael was pretty cool.  I was not about to send him away.  He was really good with both me and Jada.  It would be hard to call him father, but he did not pressure us to call him anything other than what we wanted to call him.  To me, he was Michael.  I paced in my room a little bit and then I sighed.  I would have to talk to Jada... we kept each other's secrets... especially the ones when she sneaks out to go see some guy down the road.  He was a Muggle and Jada loved going over there on breaks to hang out with him.  They've been seeing each other one and off every Christmas break since she started Hogwarts apparently.  I walked over to her room, making sure that Michael and Mum were downstairs, and knocked on her door.  I was not about to just walk into her room... I did not need to see anythin that I did not want to see.

I heard a knock on my door.  I was just getting ready to go shopping.  Well, that was what I was going to tell Mum and Michael.  I was really leaving to go see Logan -- my winter boy toy.  Yeah, I was thirteen... but that didn't mean that I had to sit around and not hang out wiht boys.  It's not like we did anything bad... flirted and held hands and kissed.  Nothing more.  He was actually a bit older than I was -- to be honest, he thought I was only a year younger than him... I guess I look mature for my age of thirteen.  He thinks that I'm sixteen.  Helps that I developed a little early with a bigger bust as well.  I opened the door and was relieved that it was just Jetty.  "Hey," I said, walking back towards my mirror to finish applying my mascara.  "What do you need?"  I asked Jetty seeing that he was looking kind of awkward in my doorway.

I finished walking into the room and closed the door behind me.  "Can we talk for a minute or something before you go?" I asked, sitting down on the edge of her bed.  I knew that she had plans so I half expected her to blow me off for this kid.  I can't even remember how I found out about him, but I did.  I also knew that Mum would not approve because he was four years older than Jada, too.  "If not, it can wait... we don't want to keep Logan waiting," I teased a little bit, grinning at her.

I rolled my eyes, but was smiling.  I turned around and plopped into the bean bag chair and looked at Jetty.  "I always have time if you need to talk, Jet," I assured him.  He hardly wanted to talk anymore... so I relished this.  I missed our talks when we would build blanket forts and stay up way too late... we were just growing up.  I miss being that little and thinking we were getting away with things.

"Gee, thanks," I said, feigning flattery.  I dodged the pillow she tossed at my head.  "That could have poked my eye out or something," I told her, trying to keep a straight face.  I did not succeed at all.  Laughing, I ran a hand through my hair.  "Now, I'm really not supposed to tell anyone about this... but I can't keep it a secret.  We just cannot let anyone else know -- including Mum."  I was getting anxious to tell Jada all about Dad meeting me on the platform before I boarded the train to Hogwarts.  And we met each other every now adn then during school, too.  He wanted to come visit during Christmas break, but he could not risk it due to being the household rat for the Weasleys.  He had a cover to keep apparently... I just didn't understand why he had to be their rat and not ours... but whatever.  This was not the time nor the place to be getting into all of that drama.

I rolled my eyes.  "Why would I go telling Mum?" I asked, thinking how ridiculous Jetty sounded.  Neither one of us ever spilled each other's secrets with her unless told otherwise.  Which was hardly ever done.  I curled my legs beneath me to get comfortable to hear the juicy secret -- because it had to be juicy to get Jetty all worked up like this.

I shrugged.  "Just wait until you hear what it is -- then you'll understand why I said you can't tell Mum, okay," I said thinking how horrible it would be for her if she found out.  I did not like the idea of hiding it from her, either... but there was no point in telling her.  It would only make everything sad and hurt and stuff.  And I was not going to be behind doing that to anyone.

Okay, he could stop with dragging it out.  "C'mon, Jetty... just tell me.  I gave you my word," I said, not impatiently... I just really wanted to know what was up.  "The suspense is killing me," I added, joking around with him so he knew that I was not mad at him, just merely curious.

I took a deep breath to ready myself for her reaction.  "Jada, my dad is still alive.  He is an animagus and is living with the Weasleys as their pet rat.  I know this sounds crazy, but it is really the truth.  He came to me before I boarded the train this year... and he visits every now and then.  He scared me to death, to be quite honest," I admitted, remembering him grabbing me beofre I boarded.  It had been rather creepy.

I sat there for a second, unsure of what to say.  And that was a difficult feat for someone to do.  Peter was alive?!  I know that speculation between him and Uncle Sirius had everyoen wondering who the real bad guy was.  Mum had told us that it was Peter who was the bad one; he was a Death Eater.  She didn't tell us the entire story, but we knew the truth.  And to find out that he was alive?  And hanging with some of the most Gryffindor people out there?  I looked at Jetty.  "Why did he come to you now?" I questioned.  There had to be a reason.  What did he want my brother to do?  That's what I wanted to know.

I shrugged, sighing.  "I have no idea why he waited until now... maybe it was just the fact of the opportunity?  I don't know.  He tries telling me that he's the good guy and that everyone misunderstands him.  He says he wants my help with something once he knows I'm ready," I said, looking down at my hands.  I was kind of afraid of what that something was.  I was curious enough to probably say yes to see what was going on, but would I be strong enough to find my own way back if it was something I was not comfortable with?

I stood up and walked over to my brother.  Sitting down next to him, I put my arm around his shoulder.  "Jetty, you don't have to listen to him.  I don't care what he wants you to do; you are not like him.  You're not a person to become a Death Eater or anything like that.  Being in Slytherin does not make you evil or a bad guy... it just means you're cunning and know how to get what you want -- whenever you figure that out.  To be honest, I think you'd make a better Hufflepuff to be honest... you're more loyal than cunning in my opinion.  But anyways... you don't have to let your dad bully you into doing anything."  I could tell that my younger brother was a little bothered by that news.  Which was probably why he went against hi father's word and told someone about him to be able to talk about this unknown task whenever Jetty was ready for it.  I did not like the sound of it one bit... and wished that we could tell someone who could do something about it, but I was not going to betray my brother's confidence.

I smiled, glad that my sister had confidence in me more than I had in myself.  I looked at Jada.  "But wouldn't it be a wise idea just to see what it is?  What if it's like helping him to plan a disaster?  I could be the mole in the operation and tell someone like Professor Dumbledore all about it when I'm able to?  I could help Dad, but be for the cause of good rather than evil," I said, wanting ot weigh my options other than just down right telling him no and to stay away from me.  Who knew when I would be ready in my father's eyes... but if I was able to do some good with the information, shouldn't I at least hear him out?

I bit my lip.  I did not like the idea of my brother being put into a precarious situation, even if it already sounded like he had his mind made up.  Maybe he should have been a Gryffindor.  "Jetty... don't do anything dangerous," I said, wanting to protect him.  "I mean... that's a wise idea to do that, don't get me wrong.  But if it puts you in harms way, is it really a good idea after all?" I questioned.  I probably sounded like a chicken or something to him... but in all my books, good guys tend to be the ones who get hurt and lose the most people.  They tend to win, yes, but at much too high a cost in my opinion.  Is it really winning if you lose so many people to get there?

I saw teh concern written all over Jada's face.  I just smiled at her.  "Wouldn't that be the point?" I asked her.  " I mean... the only way to get good intel is to get in the middle of everything.  I know it could possibly be dangerous... but I could at least see what he wants and then if it turns out to be too risky or if it's nothing at all like this, I could always back out and not do it."  I guess I already knew what I wanted to do... I just needed to toss the idea back and forth with my sister a little bit.