Our Little Secret -- May 1975

It was a hot May afternoon... it wasn't too long that we just got back from Hogwarts. I ended up leaving the house with mom and dad's permission by myself (surprisingly) and I just started wandering. I realized where I was going by accident -- to the pond that we all used during the summer out by Remus's dad's house. That was just fine... I'd dip my feet in since I didn't have my suit with me. I was in a really cute little sundress that was blue and very light weight -- perfect for the day at hand. When I arrived at the pond I saw someone sitting out doing what I was thinking of doing. I approached and announced my presence, "Hey, you stole my idea." I knew it was Remus... who else would it be? I knew James was being bossed around by dad because he avoided chores yet again to go off with the guys the other night. so he was home... I was sure Sirius snuck over and they were goofing off again anyways. I sat next to Remus and saw he looked really stressed. "what's the matter, Remus?" I asked.

I looked over my shoulder when I first heard Ember. She looked very pretty... for thirteen, I hadn't realized how grown up she looked until I saw her in that sundress. "Hey Em," I said, smiling at her and patting the ground next to me. "This is a great spot," I joked as she sat down. I had a lot on my mind, yes. But ember always took my mind off of things for a little while...e xcept today. She got right to the point. I chuckled a little bit. "Oh, nothing you need tow orry about," I said, dismissing her conern.

I rolled my eyes at him. Why do guys need to be so difficult? I took off my sandals and put my feet into the slightly cool water; but it felt really good with the sun beating down on us. I leaned back a little bit on my elbows and then I saw a piece of parchment that looked very fancy. I sat back up and grabbed it. "What's this?" I asked as I examined it. Moving away from remus when he tried to snag it out of my hands. "A wedding? Who's?"

I tried and failed to get the invitation back from Ember. "Em, c'mon... really?" I asked. She was so acting her age. My previous thought instantly disappeared. "It was not an invitation for you... so give it back," I told her, holding out my hand. I had gotten up and followed her over to where she was standing now. I watched her eyes move as she read the details.

"Oh..." I said, seeing that it was from his mother. The mother who abandoned him and John when Remus was bitten. The guys didn't think I knew any of that... but I hear things. Especially when I purposely eaves drop on them. "How horrible of her!" I exclaimed, looking up at Remus. "She left you! Why does she want you to come to a wedding? so she can torture you with a life that never was?" I ranted, not realizing I was provign that I knew more than I did. This was just so horrible!

I just stared at her with an eyebrow raised. "You little brat," I said, a smile playing at my lips. "You lied to us when we found you... you weren't just passing by..." I took teh invitation from her iwth ease since she practically gave it to me. "but I agree... I can't believe she sent this to me. Dad doesn't know she did," I added, hoping Ember would get the meaning behind it.

I sighed as we both went back to where we started adn sat back down. "don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone," I said, meaning the guys or his dad or even my parents. "Do you know what you're going to do?" I mean, I would say hell no. But it was his mum... I remember how upset he got when he retold the story to the guys. I had been so happy that they hadn't acteda ll manly and actually helepd the situation rather than embarrass Remus. I put my hand on his shoulder before realizing he was shirtless. "Remus... you should probably talk to the guys though... they've helped you with so much. I know they'd want to know about this."

I shook my head. "I know what they'd tell me to do..." I explained to her, "and I don't know if that is what I want to do... but I don't know. I'm just so torn." I had always wanted to give her a piece of my mind; and why not at the weddign? But I did just want to see her again. Show her that I would've been a great son... maybe she'd come back. But at a wedding to a new man, that obviously wouldn't happen. Though she may want me in her life. Obviously she was thinking of me.

I looked at Remus. "Well what do you want to do?" I asked him bluntly. Because he needed to know before making any decisions. And maybe I could help him a little bit.

"I was thinking of giong," I admitted to her, looking across teh water. I didn't want to see anything that was in her eyes. Ember always had expressive eyes. I didn't want to see judgement in them today.

I looked away from Remus for a moment. I didn't think it was a good idea for him to go. She was an evil woman. But she was his mother. "Then go," I said after a little while, returning my gaze to the man next to me. My hand was still resting on his shoulder and I quickly took it off. I hadn't realized it was still there. "Go to the wedding. don't worry about what anyone may think. But you'll need an excuse for your Dad, though, if you don't want him to know," I said, starting to try to figure this out for remus.

I was so surprised by her answer that I turne dto face her. "You thinkI should do it?" I asked. I was so used to people telling me the opposite of what I watned to do most of the time. "Really?"

His expression made me laugh. "Yes, really!" I said. "I'm sure I could find a way to cover for you... but I'm not as good with scheming as my brother. So I'll need some help. Or are you goign to tell your dad?" I sort of hoped he wouldn't... it might break John's heart.

I shook my head. "I won't tell him. I don't want to hurt my dad," I told her quietly. "But I can't do it alone... I won't be able to. So I doubt if I'd go." I didn't want to take the guys... they'd make a scene. And I had no one else to take with me. I didn't have the courage to face her by myself.

This was really going out on a limb for me. I drew a deep breath and said very quickly, "I could go with you if you want but it's just an idea so you can easily say no if you wanted to." I breathed again and looked out at the water, feeling my face flush, surely making me look like a fool. I did not want him to think I was still in love with him or Sirius. But those feelings never really go away... unless it was obvious there was nothing there. And I wasn't entirely sure there wasn't.