The killer in me is the killer in you -- Spring 2005

I nodded at him.  "Of course," I said to him.  "Go be with your cousin if you want."  I was not going to stop him from doing anything that might make him feel better today.  I looked over to my husband and have never seen him this lost -- not even after having murdered the old headmaster.

Lucius Malfoy wrote:I got myself all presentable for the tragic loss of the child.  I just hoped that Dorian would keep his mouth shut about what happened.  I did not want to torment the boy with mind games or modifications.  I would go to the funeral services despite the wishes of my son at not wanting me there.

I finished putting my hair in a bun and made sure my black dress look okay before I turned to my husband. "Are you sure we should be going?" I asked. I didn't want to cause a scene like in the hospital when Ian and Keegan were born. I couldn't believe Keegan was gone. Tears stung my eyes but I forced them back. I had cried enough over the past few days but I knew it would be hard to keep my emotions in check today.

Elliot Matthews wrote:I looked at my big brother and nodded.  I followed him out of the kitchen so leave Mum alone to grieve and I took hold of Abel's hand.  Being eight, I was not entirely sure how to handle all of this.  I understood that Keegan was gone and was up in heaven... but it seemed like there was more to it than what everyone was saying.  "Abel," I said quietly, "do you think Keegan is all better up in heaven?" She was sick or something -- again, I did not fully understand what was wrong with her -- so if she was all better where she was now, should we not look at that rather than be sad that she is no longer with us?


<< Elliot is SO a Hufflepuff!  Just her little thoughts tell me that we put her in the right House  >>

<<I love her little thoughts!! >>

I sighed as we entered her room and I put her black headband on her while I thought up an answer. "It's nice to think that she is isn't it?" I asked. I sat on her bed and put on my shoes I had left in her room and tied them. "I like to think she is." I pulled her into a hug and after a few moments put my hands on her shoulders so I could look in her eyes. "Please be good today, for mum." I stood, took her hand and led her back to the kitchen. "We're ready." I said before we entered the room, in case mum still wanted to be left alone.

I nodded at Abel.  "Of course," I assured my big brother.  I would behave because I did not want anyone to get more upset than they already were.  I stayed close to Abel and quiet when he went out to let Mum and Dad know that we were ready.

I managed to compose myself somewhat while the kids were finishing getting ready. I changed into my black dress and high heels, and used magic to curl my hair and put make-up on. I sighed as I tilted my head slightly. My eyes widened as a new thought entered my mind. I turned to Lincoln. "You don't think my Father will be there, do you?" I asked nervously. I didn't want to have to worry about him on top of everything else today. Just then, Abel called saying they were ready. I closed my eyes and sighed. "We'll be right there honey." I called back before looking up at Lincoln. "I don't know how I'm going to get through today but I need to be there for Draco and Pansy." I took a deep breath. "We should get going."

I looked over at Narcissa and put my hands on her shoulders.  "She was our granddaughter," I said to my wife simply.  "Of course we will be there to support our son during his time of pain."

I looked around, wishing that Abel would get there soon.  I really liked my older cousin.  I would stay by my parents until they all arrived.

I felt Pansy put her hand over mine and then it disappeared.  She and Dorian went to sit down.  I looked at my little girl and I could not believe that she was gone.  I took a deep, ragged breath and went to stand by the door.  To thank people for showing up and to try to figure out how to cope with my grief.

I went back out of the room to give mum and dad another moment of privacy before we left. I took Elliot's hand in mine and gave a reassuring squeeze. "It will be okay." I turned to the door as mum and dad came throught and we were on our way.

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, before I felt I could somehow get through this day. I looked over at Lincoln and gave a sad smile. "Let's go." I took his hand and led the way. All too quickly, all four of us were at the funeral and my twin was there to great everyone. I wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug, hoping to give him some of my strength. "Hi Draco."

I sighed, forcing myself not to flinch when he put his hands on my shoulders. "Please, just don't do anything. A funeral is no timeout hash out family issues dear." Neither was the day our grandchildren were born, but I wasn't going to bring that up. "I guess we should get going."

I looked towards the door when I heard Juniper's voice.  I watched as Ian walked over to his cousins.  I took a deep breath and walked that way as well. I knew I needed to greet people, too, but I was not sure if I was going to be able to do that.

I hugged my sister tightly, but let go of her more quickly than what I wanted to.  "Thank you for being here," I said to her, though i knew that she would be nowhere else.  "There are some... refreshments in the back -- nothing fancy, but in case you need something."  I was numb.  I had no idea what to do right now.  I was going through the motions... what could I do, though?

We all had become this interesting little family -- me, Lincoln, Juniper, Draco, Pansy, and Fiona... plus the kids.  It was like all we had were each other... and it seemed to fit us.  I was at home with Fiona and Reed still.  I came downstairs and saw that Fiona was finishing straightening out the little tie that she had put onto our two year old son.  I sighed and picked Reed up into my arms to carry him.  "We better get going," I said to her.  She took my free hand and we left.

When we got there, I saw that Lincoln and Juniper were already there with the kids.  I just hoped that we would not have to leave because of Reed.  I adjusted our son and walked inside.  Fiona went right to Pansy and I waited to give my regards to Draco.

I stayed by Abel when we arrived.  This was all just so sad and weird.  It was odd not to see Keegan by Aunt Pansy or Uncle Draco.  But she was happy now, wasn't she?  I wondered if she was lonely... all her friends -- which was all of us -- were down here.