Here's to the damned, to the lost and forgotten -- Spring 2005

It was a few days after my daughter's funeral.  I knew that Keegan's death was suspicious at best.  I should have never trusted my father around my children, but Pansy insisted that he had changed.  And I foolishy believed her.  Now I wondered if they had been in on it together.  Keegan was my little angel.  She had been autistic and never said a word.  I doubted she would ever develop magic - now I would never know.  Why were they out playing where they had been anyways?  They were too young to be playing by the water.  Keegan could not swim and I never let Dorian swim by himself.  Now I was broken and I needed to look into this... my daughter was gone and I needed to know what happened.

I walked into my childhood manor and hunted down my disgraced father.  He had almost ruined my life many times over... I was tired of it.  And this time it had gone too far.  "Father?" I called out.

Did I teach my son nothing about manners?  I put my quill down and stood up from my desk.  Walkig towards my son's voice, I readied myself for what was going to happen.  I saw Draco, and the way he let his anguish show was not flattering.  "There is no need to shout, Draco," I explained to him.  I should not have to explain that to him at his age.

The time for pleasantries were through.  I grabbed his shirt beneath the collar and shoved him against the wall.  "What'd you do to her?" I asked darkly.  Tears were blurring my eyes as I glared at my father.  How could he have been a part of anything lie this?  I knew he was cruel... but this was beyond that.  Far beyond that.

I shoved my son away from me and readjusted my shirt.  "Whatever do you mean?" I asked him.  of course, I knew.  I made sure it happened and succeeded.  Keegan had been more of a disgrace to the Malfoy family name than even Juniper -- at least she was not diseased.

I hated his condescending tone with a passion.  "You know exactly what I mean," I replied, glaring at him.  "How could you kill your own granddaughter?"

I could not help but chuckle.  "What happened to Keegan was a... tragic accident," I said snidely.  I was grateful that the plan had worked out the way it had.  I half expected to have to dirty my own hands, but I did not need to worry.  They succeeded in doing my bidding.  I only found the girl.  Poor thing.

It killed me that he chuckled.  My heart ached for my daughter.  I could not protect her.  "You are no longer to be around Dorian," I said.  I hated him.  I could ot believe this is what my father had become.  "I can't believe you!  Just because things don't fit into your plan or way of thinking... I'm done.  These aren't just things, Lucius.  They're people.  Children!" I yelled, tears in my eyes.  I was so close to losing it.

"Don't take that tone with me, draco.  I am still your father.  You are still a Malfoy.  There are standards that we need tomeet.  Keegan did not.  Your wife pointed that out to me... so we devised a plan," I said to him darkly.  I was pleased to see the pained look on his face.  he tarnished our name with the Dark Lord and society.  Draco was nearly worse than my daughter now.  When Pansy wanted to help repair the Malfoy name, I had been pleasantly surprised and pleased.

Pansy was a part of this?  No... that just had to be something Father was saying.  A mother could not do that to her own child.  "I'm donw with being a Malfoy, then!" I shouted.  I went to turn around, but thought twice.  I looked at my father and punched him square in the jaw.  "I'm done with you, Lucius."  I spun on my heel and left.  I would deal with Pansy later.  I was shaking, I was so angry and grief stricken.  I deserved to be punsihed since I had been responsible for so much pain and death... but why take it out on my innocent daughter?  I have come to realize the ones I love will always be the ones who pay.

I ended back at my own manor, going to the kitchen.  I had my own nemesis fighting within myself -- I had not told anyone about this, but when I had killed Dumbledore, I had my own demons to face.  I fought them with a poison that I tried to never have near me.  I knew Pansy had some, though, and that was what I was looking for.  I would prefer something stronger than wine, but that would have to do for now unless she had something else.  I was shaking as I went through the cupboards, but I needed something.  I could not believe this.  I found what I was looking for and behind the bottle of wine there was firewhiskey.  I pulled it down and at least poured it into a glass before starting to drink it.

I got home with Ian and sent him up to his room to put his new clothes away before getting ready for supper.  I went to the kitchen and saw Draco in the dining room, making me stop there instead.  He had a glass in front of him and I saw the bottle.  "Long day at work?" I asked him.  I never saw him with a drink, so I knew it had to be bad.  We were still trying to get back to normal after Keegan's funeral -- which was why I took Dorian out for a fun afternoon.  He was six and deserved to be happy depite having lost his sister.

I had made it through quite a bit of the bottle by the time Pansy had gotten home.  I looked up at her, trying to not feel the hatred burning inside of me with what my father had said.  She had been in on it?  I could not believe it.  "It's not because of work," I said darkly.

I instantly got worried at his tone.  I sat down at the table next to him and tried to take his hand but he pulled it away from me and actually stood up and started pacing in front of me.  "Draco, what is it?" I asked.  I knew Keegan was his little girl and I knew how much it killed him inside to lose her -- it killed me a little bit, too.  But we still had Ian to care for.

"How could you do that?" I asked her, disbelief in my voice.  I was furious that my own wife -- Keegan's mother! -- had done that to my baby girl.  Even my own mother had never sunk that low.  I was not sure what to believe when it came to what Father said as he did tend to twist people's words, but something like this?  Father hardly ever lied when it came to causing strife.

I furrowed my brow slightly and wondered what on earth he was talking about.  I had a notion to take away the bottle of firewhiskey and his glass, but I was not sure if that would start something else.  "I don't know what you're talking about, Draco," I responded slowly, racking my brain for what I could have done.