Exactly how unpleasant this will be depends solely on you -- February 2017

I could not believe that Mum could make me smile when I felt this miserable.  "That's fantastic," I said, thinking of the look on Ian's mum's face.  It had to have been priceless.  I looked at my mum.  "Thank you... I wouldn't have thought anyone could put a smile -- no matter how small -- on my face right now.  I think that is the best news I've heard all day."  She deserved it -- the whole family did.

I smirked, " Well, I won't blame you if and when you fight back....just don't start it...and I will be behind you no matter what." I told her. " You sure as hell can finish it." I told my daughter, she needed to know she could handle these things. It won't be easy but in time you'll look back on this and know how to handle it. " As sad as this is going to sound...you'll be able to look back on this and realize how strong you are for being able to piece yourself back together. It's not easy by any means." I told her realizing I was sort of rambling. I nudged her, " glad I could give you the visual..." I said as I surprised myself knowing I wouldn't normally do what I did. She had it coming though, would I do it again? In a heart beat.

"You know I can finish it, too," I pointed out.  I had fnished fights plenty of times, I just did not think that Uncle Remus told Mum or Dad... or at least not Dad.  I looked down and shook my head slightly.  "I'm not so sure that I'm that strong, Mum... the thing about this is that it showed me that I'm really the porcelain doll that Xander and Dad have always thought that I was," I told her quietly.  I always tried so hard to prove to them that I was not fragile, and then this happens.

I shook my head at my daughter as she spoke. " You are a lot stronger than you think. Believe in yourself and you'll be surprised. " I told her, " After it happened to me...it took me a while. I didn't let people think I was scared. Your dad could tell though...he always could...." I went on. " They don't think your a doll...I used to think that....They just want to make sure they are there for you...." I explained.

I was not sure if I believed Mum, but I had to.  She made it through after all, didn't she?  I sighed.  "Then they should know they can just tell me that rather than behaving the way they do sometimes," I pointed out, shaking my head.  "Did Dad look at you any differently after it all?" I was so scared that, even if Xander would say it did nto bother him and he would be fine, it would wear on our relationship and all he would be able to see was Dorian.

I smiled, " I had that exact worry that he might look at me in a different sense but actually on the contrary. He stuck to me like glue. After it happened I had to let someone know where I was....it was nice but admittedly a little to much at times." I said with a laugh, "He did that because he knew I didn't want him to leave me alone at all."

I was rather relieved that Mum said that.  I nodded slightly as I listened to her.  "I can imagine... I doubt I'll be able to go around school without some sort of Weasley, Lupin, or Black escort," I said, rolling my eye but really thinking that it would be nice to have.  Even if it were with the ladies, having that extra person there would give everyone peace of mind.  "I guess, to think on the brighter side of things... I mean, if one good thing comes of all of this, it might be that Dad will actually accept Xander..." I knew that was wishful thinking.

" I don't think so.....at least not any time soon." I pointed out to my daughter. I nodded as she continued, " It'll be a little while without an escort. " I said to her with a shrug. " One can always hope it'll help with your confidence....I know it sounds strange right now." I told her as I looked away from her for a moment.

I was not entirely sure about that, but trusted Mum.  She, unfortunately, had been through this before.  I picked at my blanket slightly as I felt a new wave of emotion hit me.  Fighting back tears I shook my head slightly.  "I just can't believe how stupid I was, Mum," I said quietly.  "Everyone told me to stay away from him... and did I listen?  And look what happened..."

I hugged her tightly, sadly that is what I felt too. " Try not to beat yourself up sweetie...I know its hard...I felt the exact same way. " I told her as I was afraid for her. It takes time and it is hard to get over something like this. " You're like me...we try to see the best in people. " I explained. " I know it doesn't help....but, we are a lot alike sweetheart." I told her with a small smile.

I leaned into her, using her strength the best that I could.  I wiped at my eyes, angry at myself for being so stubborn and not listening to what others clearly saw that I just chose to ignore.  "I don't mind being like you... I just wish that this was one thing we didn't have in common," I said sadly.  Why did this have to happen to us?

I pulled her to arms length, " Sweet heart if there was anything I could do to make sure we didn't have this in common trust me. I would do it." I told her, making her look into my eyes. When I heard I had never been so worried about my anger. I was fuming, " I'll tell you...I had to make sure your dad was there to make sure I didn't get put in Azkaban honestly. " I smiled darkly. " I was damn near determined to make sure I was going to cause all of them pain." I said looking off sort of. I shook my head to bring myself back to the conversation. " I wish we didn't have that in common either." I told her as I leaned my head on hers.

I smiled and chuckled slightly.  "I was surprised by how mad you looked compared to Dad," I said.  "You were kind of scary... do you think Dad is alright?  He wasn't really himself back there with Uncle Remus... the way they yelled at each other..."  I trailed off, not wanting to have to worry about anythign else, but then again thinking it was nice to have omething else besides what happened to talk about for the moment.

I nodded as she spoke, " Dad will be all right...don't worry about him and Uncle Remus. They have been friends for ages. They'll sort it out. As for me looking scary...I have the ability and most people do not come near me...I was able to hold in my anger quite a bit when it came to Mrs. Malfoy...until that point in time." I said as I smirked still made me happy to see her face with blood trickling down her head.

I smiled again at the thought of Mum headbutting Mrs. Malfoy.  I sighed and shook my head.  "I hope they can figure it out," I said, speaking of Dad and Uncle Remus.  "And, you know, the Malfoys really aren't as bad as everyone thinks... minus what just happened, of course."  I had met Mrs. Malfoy on a few occasions and she was better at accepting me more than Mr. Malfoy for dating their son.  I thought it was nice of her to do so.  But then it always seemed like they changed around other people, that was what Ian always told me they did anyways.  I tried to avoid them as much as possible.