Exactly how unpleasant this will be depends solely on you -- February 2017

We had just gotten Lyla home and she was upstairs resting in her room -- at least I hoped she was.  I made us each a cup of tea.  I knew that we both needed it and I could tell that Lily was quite peeved.  I took a sip as I set her cup in front of her.  "Are you alright?" I inquired.  I figured that it had to do with her little incident wiht the Malfoys in teh corridors or perhaps the fact that Remus lost his temper with me.

I looked over to James. I took my tea, muttering a quick thank you. " You know I'm mad now.. I am mad at everything James...the whole point of this happening to her." I said getting up pacing. I couldn't sit still, " Why did you bring us up?" I asked him as I faced him putting my hand on my hip. I couldn't believe he brought us up.

I set my cup of tea down and crossed my arms.  "Of course you're mad; I'm mad as well," I said, knowing that that fact had to be obvious.  Then I realized what she was talking about.  "Lily... I brought you guys up so Remus would know that he had to do something more than what he was doing."

Running a hand through my hair, " James, I don't think you understand why I'm angry.....you brought us up in front of Lyla.....she doesn't know about what happened to me ...Twice!" I finished. I had kept that secret and he lets it slip. " Hon, I know we want something done for Ly...but what else can be done?" I asked him as I started to pace again. " He is trying to make three parties happy.." I said as I waved my hand as I spoke. " I haven't told Lyla about that happening in a way of protecting her from knowing it happens in the world. I wanted to have the conversation someday. Not forced upon me." I finished I walked over to my tea and took some. " I wanted to do it on my terms....not have her dying to ask questions and now to afraid too. " I looked back at him and he was on the defensive. " I know, it was to make more attention on it...but remember he was there too. He saw what it did to us....remember when it happened again you saw how much it hurt...how much it made me feel worthless....I do not want to know what my daughter is going through and I do!" I said angrily as I could feel the tears welling in my eyes as I was losing it.

I did not even realize what I had said in there and what it meant for our daughter and for Lily.  I put my hands on her shoulders.  "Lily... I... I don't even know what to ay," I said.  I had anger flowing through my veins, but I had no clue what was going to happen now.  I did not want to snap even more than I already have.  Especially on Lily.

Wiping my eyes angrily, " It's fine..." I said turning to the kitchen to do some of the dishes that needed to be done. Having this happen..I didn't want that to be something me and Lyla had in common. It terrifies me that she feels this way. I knew exactly how it was. I turned on the sink and picked up one of our plates. I looked at it and turned around and threw it hard against the wall as I screamed out.

I followed my wife to the kitchen.  "Lily, I'm not happy about any of this," I said, furious at my mate and the Malfoys.  "What happened to ly... I thought that things like that would never happen to her..."

I walked over to the island in the kitchen as I leaned on it. I looked over to James, " I don't like that I know what is going on through her head right now....now she knows it happened to us too..." I said quietly as I hid my face in my hands as I let the tears fall freely. I hated that my daughter is now going through this. It made me so mad. " Can you pass some ice over for my head, please?" I asked him while I kept my face hidden.

I grabbed some ice from the freezer and wrapped it in a cloth so it would not be too cold on her skin.  I handed it to her and stayed close enough to rub circles between her shoulder blades.  "Maybe it's a good thing she knows you all went through this... now she might not feel as alone," I suggested, trying to think positively of my horrendous blunder.

" She shouldn't have to go through this at all....I hate knowing every little detail that is more than likely running through her head right now. If I could go back and make sure it didn't happen to her I would..." I said looking up to my husband with a tear stained face. " I just..." I cut myself short as I put my head in my hands.

"I know," I said, leaning and kissing Lily's forehead.  "I wish I could go back in time and prevent this from happening to our little girl... but we can't.  We just have to figure out the best way to help her now..."  Which I had no idea what that would be.

I took a deep breath as I sat up. " I think I do...." I said as I fiddled with my hands. I didn't want to but perhaps I should talk to her. To let her know she isn't alone and I have felt what she's feeling right now. " I should talk to her...get it out in the open as it were. " I said trying to think positively of me not being to happy with her knowing now.

I sighed.  "That is probaby a good idea," I said.  I knew that it was hard to talk about... but it needed done.  I remembered how hard it was for Lily to talk about it to me.  "And I never thought I would say this, but Xander may have to stay over a few nights... I know tht helped all of you having us guys with you."  I just wanted to make sure my baby girl would make it thorugh this okay.

I pulled my hair into a ponytail. " Let's hope it at least helps..." I said as I looked over to the stairs. Hearing what he said I turned back, smiling " I think that would help too...." I said as I nodded knowing it was hard for him to say that. " Perhaps we can send a message to Reg and Aimee." I said as I cleaned up my mess of the plate on the floor.

I nodded.  "I can get to planning things with them while you go talk with Ly?" I suggested, knowing that neither conversations were ones we wanted to have.