Did You Ever Tell? -- November 1979

"Are you okay?" I asked him. It was a lot to take in, I was sure of it. I mean... who knew that Ember made her way around the group... I mean... not in a manner of speaking that was bad or anything. But still. "And just so you know... none of it mattered anyways. But she always knew this entire time what I was, but I never told her about you guys. Though I think she knew. She just never said."

" I'll be fine..." I mumbled to him. I know I would be fine I just was hurt that they decided to keep it secret so long. With Ember and I we are married and have Dean. I just don't know why all of a sudden they both decided to tell us now. Just thought we had a right to know. Well, why not six years ago? Do they really think Prongs and I are that bad that we wouldn't have hung out with him because him and her had a thing when they were younger. Running a hand through my hair, " No she's pretty much known for a while now. I didn't really have to tell her especially after that night...." I said leading off, where the slytherins had gotten involved.

That was a complete different problem in itself. I just remember how scared and angry I was, which seemed like the appropriate emotion at the time. I sighed, " I never wanted to be in a situation where I was being left out of it. I don't like when I don't know something for what ever cause or purpose. " I said as I seemed to avoid his gaze momentarily. " I just always know that I will be there....I am surprised though the damned owl beat me here...." I said with a laugh, " I left probably a good 15 minutes before she had the ability to write you."

I laughed. "Really? Perhaps she sent it before she got home... I mean, Padfoot, you are kind of predictable," I teased. I busied myself with the finishing touches of dinner. I let it sit for a minute and turned to look at Sirius again, leaning against the counter with my arms folded across my chest casually. "And I think it may be best not to bring up that night," I said, an icy tone to my voice. "It still just..... you know," I added, sure he knew exactly what I meant.

"We've all been through so much together, I don't know why it was never brought up. After all the times getting sloshed with each other you would've thought it would've slipped in somewhere... And to be honest, I had faith in you... that you wouldn't overreact or anything. James, not so much."

" Hey!" I shouted from the bathroom. " Nothing better be burning Remus!" I shouted as I laughed at my own joke.

I rolled my eyes, glad that only Sirius was downstairs. I couldn't help myself. "Babe, I've got it covered, don't worry," I called up. I couldn't help but laugh a little bit at the fact that she did know me too well. It would've been likely that I burnt it. Just ot be safe, I did double check.

It had been a little while since I had heard anything and Sirius still wasn't home. I figured I was freaking for no reason... but I wasn't sure. So, I gathered everything I needed and grabbed Dean -- who was so small that I was still surprised that there was so much stuff for such a small person. I Apparated to the foyer of the Lupin residence. I was always so grateful that such an action surprisingly didn't wake the baby. "Chloe? Remus?" I called out, setting down the diaper bag. I wasn't sure if Sirius was still there, but I smelled dinner and hoped I wasn't interrupting anything.

"Perhaps, I am just losing my touch..." I said with a smirk, realizing how stupid that sounded. " Yeah right..." I snorted. Hearing Ember I sighed, " Really...she must think I have killed you or something..." I said not really believing she had to come here. "Would you like us all to go...I have a feeling there would be three more to feed..." I said with a grin. " We can go."

I laughed. "You can stay," I told him. I figured there was enough food around, maybe not that I prepared, that we could all eat. "Em, kitchen!" I called out to her. I looked at Sirius again. "You realize you probably had her worried... so cut her some slack for checking in," I informed him, knowing that this could really go either way.

I left the diaper bag in the hallway and with Dean in my arms, I walked to the kitchen. I was actually a little surprised to see Sirius still here. "Oh... so you are still here," I said, trying not to let my stress and worry turn me into a sarcastic bitch. "I hadn't heard from you in awhile and got worried," I explained, letting Remus take Dean away from me. I couldn't help but smile whenever Remus took him... it was like he would be a natural father whether he thought about it like that or not. "I know I could've sent in some other way... but getting out is always a bit nice, too. Anyways," I said, trying to appear as if it were no big deal that neither one of them thought to let me know that he was still here and everything was okay, I continued on. "I'll just go ahead and go back home. No biggie." I flashed a smile in hopes that it would hide some of my irritability going on right now. Mood swings... they came and went and when they came, better watch out. It seemed like they were so much worse since having Dean. And I couldn't help but feel irritated by the guys right now.

" If we could step in the other room?" I asked her as she turned around. " The three of us have been invited to stay for dinner..." I explained. I know she was annoyed and here I thought I had more of a right to be annoyed. Did I cool off...yes.

I smiled at Sirius and said "I'm sorry.... you had me really worried," I explained. I wanted to go up and hug him, but wasn't quite sure if our attitudes would allow it since I was bitchy and he was probably upset. "Whatever you want to do," I added. He was he one who had the big news today

I nodded, " I understand...it made me really mad..." I explained. It really hurt to have them lie to me for so long and they seemed alright with it. I sighed, " We should stay for dinner. Seems like the good idea..." I said with a smile, as I came back to see Remus holding Dean. " You look like you're all right there..." I said to help him. I know Chloe has been driving him nuts about it.

I nodded, thinking that this could get awkward, but I left the choice to Sirius. I just really hoped that I wouldn't get irritated. I wasn't sure what was going on with my mood, but I think it had something to do with just being really worried. I didn't think that I'd lose Sirius over it or anything, but it just seemed like there was something there now and I was concerned that it wouldn't go away. But then again, this was all so fresh (nearly just hours old) news, so maybe I was getting overly worried for no reason. I walked back into the kitchen and smiled at them. It seemed like Remus and I were purposely staying away from each other. No need to make the other two think that we brushed arms on purpose or anything. I mean, it's not our fault that we still clicked and we were all a huggy group anyways. "What do you guys need help with?" I asked.

I smiled, " I think we should stay..." I said as I pulled a chair over and sat down. " We can all talk about the important day coming in a week and how much of a bash Chloe is going to have here.." I said. She is the Valentine's Queen. She loves having a bash for it.

I laughed. "Or we could always let the ladies do that," I added, knowing full well that would get me a look even if I was teasing. "Oh, but Padfoot, before you leave tonight, there is something I wanted to talk to you about. We all just got distracted by school-yard bull tonight," I said, shrugging. I was trying to make light of a situation that could've been handled so much better and differently. "But just don't leave without me talking to you about a couple other things."