There'll be peace when you are done -- Winter/Spring 1997

I was shocked to silence when Draco actually brought me along with him.  His hands felt clammy and I was worried about him.  He looked so ill.  I squeezed his hand comfortingly as we nearly jogged across the grounds.  Draco finally slowed and I waited with him, glad to see that Juniper had listened to me and gone to find Lincoln.

I tried to chuckle, but knew she would be able to tell it was forced.  I knew I really should be studying, but worrying about Juniper was on the forefront of my mind.  When she said Pansy told her I had been looking for her, I caught sight of the pair behind June.  I looked past Juniper at them to try to read what was going on.  I focused my attention back to June, though.  "Yeah," I said, thinking quickly.  "It's actually about the potion... it's working well for you?  Do you need any more?" I figured this may buy me time to figure out what to do next about everything.

I noticed that he had looked past me and turned to see Draco and Pansy a short distance away, looking at us. My eyes widened slightly. Draco and Linc still didn't really like each other so I would need help if Draco was going to come over. I repositioned myself so the neither of them could see me take out my flask and take another swig. I wasn't sure why I was trying it hide it from them, it's not like I was doing anything wrong. Relief filled me once more, that thought left and I knew that I could survive. I smiled brightly up at him as I put my flask away behind my back when I remembered he had asked me about the cure. Maybe Pansy hadn't been lying, he just wanted to check in on me after everything that happened. "It's working amazing!" I assured him. "I don't need anymore Linc. I'll never need anymore. I know how to make it now." My smile widened as I looked up at him, I knew he would be proud of me for figuring it out. I could always count on him to make me feel better about myself.

I saw Juniper take a drink of the potion and I squeezed Pansy's hand tightly.  I needed her to stop taking it.  This was not my sister.  I caught Matthews' eye and we kept each other's gaze for a moment before turning away.  I was not sure what he had seen on my face, but I had seen on his what I needed to see -- the slight nod that he was taking care of it.  I ran a hand through my hair and looked at Pansy.  "Thank you," I said to her, knowing I had not properly done so.  I looked back at my sister and Matthews, hoping that he would be able to help her because, for once in our lives, I had no idea how to do that.

I watched her take a drink from the flask and looked past her where her gaze had been moments before she tried to hide what she was doing.  I had not seen this look on Draco's face before -- except maybe in teh Hospital Wing when Juniper was injured.  There was so much pain and agony and guilt and grief written on his features.  We met gazes and I gave him a slight nod.  I could handle this.  When Juniper said she figured out how to brew it herself, I nearly blanched.  She what?  I felt my eyes widen slightly.  "June... we need to talk about this," I said quietly, hoping she would not pull away.

I smiled at him.  "You know I'm always here for you, Draco," I assured him.  I was always there for him.  I would easily devote myself to him.  I just wished he would feel the same way about me.

I took a shaky step back and started trembling slightly, I wasn't sure I wanted to be here anymore, he was starting to almost scare me. "What is there to talk about?" The tone in his voice told me he was serious. Maybe he hadn't heard me. "I said I learned how to brew the potion." When his expression didn't change after a moment, I was more confused then ever. "Aren't you proud of me? The Specialis Revelio spell isn't the easiest." I asked, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. Linc was alway proud of me, why not now? "I wrote it all down so I wouldn't forget." I took another step back. "You don't have to worry about me anymore, no one does." I tried to smile at him, wondering what it actually looked like. It was true through, I didn't need anyone to worry about me anymore, as long as I had Linc's cure, I would be okay.

<< I was trying to figure out a way she would find out what was in the potion, let me know if you want me to edit it >>

<< Nope!  That works for me! >>

I turned away from Matthews and Juniper.  I could not watch this.  I looked at Pansy.  "Let's go... I'll only make everything worse," I admitted, hating that fact.  I was always able to help my sister -- always.  This, however, I could not.  And it pained me so much to realize that.  But if I tried to help her... tried to take on one more thing... I would burst, I knew I would.  I was being so selfish... putting myself first before Juniper.  That was something I never did.

I did not like the reaction I was getting from her.  I did not want her to think that I thought badly of her or anything like that.  It was a good idea of her performing that charm to see how to make the potion on her own.  But not when it led to this.  I sighed and shook my head slightly, trying to find the right words.  "June, that's why we are worried about you.  Your brother and I both are worried about you," I said to her slowly.  "You're not acting like yourself lately... and I think -- I know -- it's because of that potion that I gave you."  I was beating myself up for having done that.  Why did I?  I should have just let Madam Pomfrey work her magic on making Juniper feel better.

I nodded, slowly leading Draco farther away from Lincoln and his sister.  I could tell he was reluctant to leave, but he had said he wanted to.  "C'mon... why don't we try to get some food?" I suggested, knowing that Draco had not been eating much at all.  It was really starting to show.

I took another step back, really not wanting to be here now. "My brother?" I asked. "What does Draco have to do with any of this? He shouldn't be worried about me, he has other things he needs to be concerned about beside me." I shook my head, he seemed worry about the potion for some reason, "The potion's fine." What on earth was he talking about? My head was spinning with everything he was saying I had to close my eyes for a moment to stop it. "Linc, I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me." I tried to assure him. When his expression didn't change, I knitted my eyebrows together in confusion. "Linc, what's going on?"

I knew Pansy was just trying to help.  I sighed and nodded, knowing that once Juniper was back in her rightful state of mind, she would be very angry with me if I was not eating or sleeping.  "Alright," I said slowly, nodding slightly.  It was probably a good idea anyways.  "And then we'll be easy to find for when Matthews is done talking with June..."

I shook my head and sighed slightly.  "June... you need to stop this," I told him softly.  I was sure that this was going to have issues and she was going to end up arguing with me.  I took a deep breath and continued.  "You aren't acting yourself... Please, give me what you have left of the potion.  I will help you through this, but you can't do this on your own like you're doing."  I pleaded with her.

I nodded, glad that Draco was not trying to argue with me.  I led him back into the castle, but took a glance over my shoulder.  I could ttell that whatever Lincoln was telling Juniper was not pleasant.  I hoped that everything would be okay... Draco did not need to worry about his sister as much as he did.  There was enough going on for him, even if I did not know what it was.

I shook my head slightly, "What do I need to stop?" I asked. I was so confused, I didn't know where to start. Why did he keep saying I wasn't acting like myself? Who was I acting like then? I took my flask out of my bag when he mentioned giving him the rest of the potion. I shook my head again as I looked up at him, holding my flask to my chest protectively. "I don't need your help Linc. I'm doing fine." I was starting to get frustrated, what did he think was wrong with me? "What are you trying to tell me?" Clearly he was worried about me, but I had no idea why. I wasn't really sure I wanted to hear his answer.