There'll be peace when you are done -- Winter/Spring 1997

Pansy was rather insightful, apparently.  I just looked at her and I was not entirely sure what was going on with her.  She seemed to understand more than what she let on.  "I can't," I said to her simply.  "Everything's fine, though... just trust me on that."  Of course I was lying through my teeth, but I hoped that I was able to convince her.

"I am rather accustomed to pain and getting hurt," I reminded her gently, giving her a pointed look.  "It's time to stop pushing me away... after these handful of years we've been friends, you should realize by now that I'm not budging."

"I don't care of your used to pain and getting hurt, I am not going to let that happen to you because of me." I closed my eyes, attempting to keep the tears that were starting to form from falling, as I took a shaky breath. I opened my eyes and looked up at him as I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "I don't think I can ever stop pushing you away." I said honestly. "I've been doing that to everyone ever since I can remember. It's supposed to prevent people from becoming too close to me." I bit my lips slightly. "But I'm afraid it may be a bit too late to do that for you. And for that, I'm sorry."

I sighed, wanting to press the issue, but also not wanting to make Draco angry with me.  "Alright, alright," I said, trying to hide my exasperation.  "I will try to trust you, even though I know you're lying about everything being fine."  I wanted him to know that.

I could not help but laugh a little bit at her statement.  "It's too late to push me away, is it?" I said, shaking my head.  "That's alright...  I'm used to people pushign me around.  I still don't budge.  You're stuck with me, June.  May as well get used to it."  I shrugged, dismissing her concerns.  I knew that I could get myself into trouble by helping her - by the way she spoke - but it could not be much worse than what I had to go through to get to where I was.

I was startled by her response into a slight smirk.  "I have never realized you to be so insightful, Miss Parkinson," I pointed out to her, shaking my head.

I gave a small laugh, despite the light tears that had started to fall. "That's not what I meant." I said, even thought maybe it was partly true. "I meant that it's too late for you to be pushed away, not for me to push you away. You're in too deep. And for that, I'm sorry." I repeated my last sentence. "I don't want to be pushing you around though. I feel like that's exactly what I'm doing." I let my head hang slightly. I cared about Lincoln more than I would ever let on, but that was what was going to get him into trouble. I had to push him away for his own good, no matter how much it hurt me to do so. Lincoln's safety was more important than my happiness.

I smiled at Draco.  "Well, Mr. Malfoy, I notice more than you may realize," I said pointedly.  I was not completely sure what crossed Draco's face when I said that.  It was just a quick glimmer and then his face was a mask again.

I raised my eyebrows at Pansy.  How much did she really realize?  I could see a little bit of knowledge behind her eyes and I could not help but wonder.  "Clearly," I said, a slight smile playing at my lips.  This was one of the first time that I think I smiled in awehile.

I rolled my eyes.  "Well, if you aren't going to eat anything else... perhaps we should start on getting some of your homework caught up?" I suggested, raising my eyebrows.  "Yes, Draco, I've noticed that you've been slacking in that area, too."

Juniper Malfoy Matthews wrote:I gave a small laugh, despite the light tears that had started to fall. "That's not what I meant." I said, even thought maybe it was partly true. "I meant that it's too late for you to be pushed away, not for me to push you away. You're in too deep. And for that, I'm sorry." I repeated my last sentence. "I don't want to be pushing you around though. I feel like that's exactly what I'm doing." I let my head hang slightly. I cared about Lincoln more than I would ever let on, but that was what was going to get him into trouble. I had to push him away for his own good, no matter how much it hurt me to do so. Lincoln's safety was more important than my happiness.

I shrugged at June and was not too concerned.  "June, stop fretting," I said to her.  "I always get in too deep with people I care for... so just learn to live with it."  I attempted a smile at her to get her to chuckle.

I was completely surprised by Pansy being so insightful.  "No, I don't need any hlp with anything," I said quickly.  There was no point in dragging pansy into any of this.  It was bad enough as it was with Juniper helping with what she had.

I gave a hollowed laugh, mostly since I knew he was trying to make me laugh. "And just learn to live with the fact that I will always try to push away the people I care about." I said with a sigh. "Including you." I would never admit how much I cared about him but he was one of the most important people in my life. I took a shaky breath. "The safety of the people I care for is far more important than my happiness."

I rolled my eyes.  "Come, Draco," I said gently, getting up and waiting for him.  I expected him to argue, but he did not.  It caught me off guard slightly.  "Alright... let's get some work done."

I shrugged.  "Well, where my safety is concerned... i've been in worse situations," I pointed out to her.  Just that thought made a vice tighten around my chest.  I hated just throwing it around lightly, but it was a coping mechanism.