There'll be peace when you are done -- Winter/Spring 1997

I feigned offense.  "Excuse me?  I am not arrogant," I said to her, though I knew that she was completely correct in that matter.

I shook my head at him. "I don't want you to do it for my sake, I want you to do it for your sake." I began. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. How could I explain this to him? "Lincoln, after this year, you're going to graduate, and get a job helping people who can't help themselves. I'm still going to be here for another year, and after that? I have no idea." I sighed. "You have a plan, a great plan for your life. I have no idea what I'm going to do after I graduate. You need to study and focus on that so you can go ahead with your plan. Don't let me bring you down because you're worried about me, I'm nothing compared with where your life is going."

I could not help but laugh out loud, looking at Draco.  "You're not?  You could've fooled me," I said, smirking at him.

I rolled my eyes at her.  "June, when will you realize that you're a part of my life now, whether you like it or not?" I asked her rhetorically.  "So just deal with that.  It doesn't matter if I'm graduating or hopefully going on with what i want to do.  Which might not happen, I might add.  So just understand that you will always be an important person in my life."

I nudged Pansy lightly.  "Gee, thanks," I said sarcastically.  It was nice to be able to do something like this again, though.  Something light.  Though I was not sure how long I could do this.

It took a moment for his words to sink in I tilted my head slightly. "You mean, you would still want to see me even after you graduate? You would still remember me, with everything else that will be going on in your life?" I knew I would never forget Lincoln, no matter what. He meant so much to me but it was easier to believe he would move on after he finished school and wouldn't look back at the stupid little girl he had to save from being bullied because she couldn't do a simple spell when she was eleven. So much had happened since that day and we had both grown so much but could he really mean it? "And Lincoln, you will do whatever it is you have you heart set on, I just know it." I gave a small smile up at him. "You will help so many people, just like you helped me."

I rolled my eyes at Draco.  "You don't give yoursel fenough credit most of the time," I said to him.  "Then at other times, you are so arrogant and no one can stand being around you."  I smiled at him.  "I think that the true you is the one where you doubt yourself."

I nodded at her. "How can I forget you, June?" I asked her.  There was no way that could ever happen.  "And I hope you're right," I added, commenting on the me being helpful part.  I knew that what I wanted to do would end up putting a lot of stress on me and yet it was something I was so passionate about.

I looked over at her and sighed.  "I think you may be right about that," I said to her, "but everyone thinks the latter.  So I let them continue tot hink that way.  It's just easier.  And it's necessary."  If Father kne wthat I doubted myself, well, he would be livid to say the least.

"I didn't think it would be too difficult to do." I told him of forgetting me. "The only reason people remember me is if they are using me." I admitted softly. I looked down and sighed. It was a moment before I could look up. "I know I'm right about you, you have an amazing future ahead of you."

I sighed.  "I'm sorry," Isaid to him.  There was so much more to what he was saying.  it was so saddening and a little scary.  "Yo might not always need to feel this pressured... you might be able to get away from things..."

I looked at her.  "I haven't forgotten about you nor have I been using you,' I pointed out to her.  Though was that really true?  She got me through wanting to die... but that was a different way of using someone.  I was just leaning on her as a friend even if she did not known it.

I wanted to laugh sarcastically, but I could not even do that.  "I don't know if that is really ever going to be true," I said to Pansy honestly as we worked on some assignments.

I looked over at Lincoln, "That doesn't count, we see each other everyday. I'm talking about after you graduate. Do you really think you'll want to deal with the stupid little girl who had trouble with the simplest of spells?" I really didn't want to get my hopes up that he would actually want to talk to me or see me again after he left. I just wanted the cure again and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, hoping the need would pass soon.

I was surprised by the plain honesty that Draco was speaking with.  I could not believe it, really.  I put a hand on his arm while he started writing an essay for Potions.  "Draco... I wish there was something I could do," I said to him sincerely.