You never know when a lunatic will come along & give you a sadistic choice to make -- Early Winter 1997

"I think that he would want you to focus on getting better, too, though.  No matter how he may show it," I added, thinking it had been ridiculous for him to try to argue with her.  "What does he need your help with?  Maybe me or someone else can help instead?"  I wanted her to focus on getting herself better, too.  That was probably the only thing Draco and I had in common on most days.  "And you can drift off, if you want.  Don't worry about offending me any.  I don't care if you fall asleep or rest while I'm here."

I nodded but stopped when the pain became too much. "I know he would. He had been trying to help me get better earlier when you came in." I just was not going to tell anyone and Draco hadn't liked my response. Draco would want me to get better but he had to focus on himself too. My eyes widened when he offered to help and I shook my head vigorously, despite the pain. "I can't let you help him with this." There was no way I would drag anyone else into what Draco and I were in. I would not let Linc become involved with any of this. He didn't deserve it. "No one but me can help him." I was awake now, I was okay. Draco needed help, he didn't have to worry about me anymore. "Can I ask you one more favour while I'm still up? I know I alway ask too much of you." I hoped he would say yes, I was getting tired and I still wanted to try Linc potion, but there was one more thing I had to make sure happened before I was too tired to remember it.

Her reaction to me offering help startled me slightly, though I was sure she had her reasons as to why she thought she was the only one who could help draco.  I had a feeling it was a trust issue with the two of them -- which I understood all too well.  "Of course," I said to her, dismissing he rnotion that she asked too much of me.  I really did nto mind.

I was happy that he didn't mention helping Draco again, I wouldn't let him get hurt like I did. I sighed and smiled up at him. "Thank you." I said sincerely. I closed my eyes and attempted to concentrate on what I had to tell Linc instead of the pain. I thought for a moment before I spoke. "I need you to tell Jetty something." I began slowly. I opened my eyes and turned to him. "I need you to tell Jetty thank you, from me, for finding me and saving me. I know my parents won't say anything and I think Draco's been too....distracted....I'm not sure if I told him when he actually did save me, but I want to make sure he know he grateful I am to him." I took a few deep breaths to get my energy up again before I finished. "I don't think I would've survived if Jetty hadn't found me when he did." I bit my lip slightly, hoping he didn't think I was being stupid for wanting to thank Jetty. "Can you please let him know?"

That was something that I could easily do for her.  I was expecting something a little more difficult, to be honest.  I smiled at her.  "I'll make sure he knows," I told her, "though I'm sure he already does.  But don't worry... I'll tell him."  I knew that she would have argued if I did not add that last part in there for good measure.  I did not want to think about the fact that if Jetty had not found her, that she was probably right and that she would not be here right now.  It slightly irritated me that she thought Draco would have been too distracted to thank someone for saving his sister's life.  What was Draco doing to make him snap like this?  I was curious, but I was not about to ask.

I closed my eyes, smiled and nodded. "Thank you." I said sincerely. "I would tell him myself but, you know what happened last time I tried to walk." I gave a small laugh. I opened my eyes and looked over at him. "You're such an amazing person Linc. I don't knew anyone else who would've stay here though everything." Draco hadn't even stayed but I didn't need to say that out loud, Linc had been there. I shook my head slightly so it didn't hurt terribly. "I should thank you too, for dealing with all my craziness today." I wasn't sure how things would've continued with Draco if Linc hadn't come in to stop us from arguing, but that was one conversation I was happy hadn't continued.

I shrugged it off.  "I'm not as great as you think I am," I assured her.  "I'm used to your craziness, too."  I was sure that there was no way she would believe me, but it was true.  I was used to everything that Juniper did or did not do by now.  I was sure she could still surprise me, but still.

"You are great." I assured him. I gave small laugh, "Yeah, I guess you are used to my craziness by now hu?" I hated to admit it but Linc and I were so close, he had to at least be used to some of my craziness. Not all of it, but some. I yawned and hardly managed to hid it from him. "I guess I am getting a little tired." I admitted. I looked over at the table in between Linc and I that had the flask on it. I wanted to try his cure so badly, maybe with it, I could get out if here earlier so I could help Draco quicker. "But I don't want to fall asleep yet." I was afraid of the dreams I might have, the nightmare. Maybe Linc cure works on them too.

I had a feeling that I knew why Juniper would not want to close her eyes -- I never wanted to, either.  I smiled slightly as I nodded; her craziness kept me busy, that was for sure, so I was quite used to it.  "June, that helps with that, too," I told her.  "It's sort of like a mix between an elixir for pain and the Draft for Dreamless Sleep.  All you need, though, is a cap full.  Nothing more."  I never had a problem with it, but I knew the dose that would most likely work well for her and that was it.

I took the flask in my hands and rubbed my thumb over the design. "Pain and dream free." I said softly. That was exactly what I needed. "A cap full." I looked over at him, a bit confused. "A cap full?" I asked. How could a cap full clear my mind, take away the pain and my dreams? "Are you sure? It doesn't seem like very much." I couldn't risk not taking enough, I had to make sure, I had to see if his home remedy would work on me. I really hoped it would, I needed it.

I nodded at her.  "I'm sure," I promised.  That would take the edge off and let her relax and drift off to sleep.  She did not need any more than that.  "Trust me on that, June.  A cap full will work."  It used to work for me -- until I started up a tolerance to it.  I just did not need it that often anymore, so that was always a good thing.  And, after graduation, I was hoping that I would not need it ever again.

I shook my head, I didn't trust myself to only take a cap full. I held out my trembling hands and placed the flask back onto the bedside table. "I can't pour it right now. Can you measure it out for me? Please?" I bit my nails, hoping that his cure would work. I had to take the edge off of my memories, take my mind off everything that had happened and was happening. I had to help Draco, and this may be my ticket to get out of here sooner. I took a few shaky breaths and looked up at Lincoln with pleading eyes, I hoped he didn't think I was asking too much like I always was.

I nodded and took the flask, opening it up and pouring enough to fill the cap.  I handed it to her.  "It always tastes like ice at first... then it sort of warms your insides as it soothes the pain.  To help calm the mental storm raging in your head it may take a little longer than to ease the physical ailments," I explained to her.  I did not want her to just take it and then automatcially think she needed more or something.  Physical wounds were always the easiest to soothe and heal... no matter what remedy one had.

I took the cap, trying to make sure none of liquid spilled. I nodded as he explained what would happen. "I think I can handle it." I hoped I could but I had to know one more thing before I took the potion. "How long until it effect my memories?" I asked as I turned to him. I had to know how long I would have to live with the memories, I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand them.

"It doesn't wipe them away," I told her, wanting to clarify what I had meant by that.  "It just sort of makes them distant and makes them sort of disappear for the time being.  They do stay and you will remember them.  It just eases everything to make it easier to handle."  I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.  "Though it normally sets in at a decent amount of time after the physical pain eases."