You never know when a lunatic will come along & give you a sadistic choice to make -- Early Winter 1997

I sighed and shook my head.  "Well, you better just realize that it's never too late," I said to her simply.  "And you do have some people who care about you now, too."  I smiled at her.

I drew my knees to my chest, trying to make myself smaller, invisible, but I knew that wouldn't work. "I don't know about that." I said softly of both it not being too late, and that I had people who cared about me. "I hope you don't count yourself in the people who care about me." I sighed, looking down. "No one needs to worry or care about me, I'm used to it. Besides..." I trailed off, realizing I really didn't want to finish the sentence. After this year, Lincoln would graduate and he would move on. He would meet someone, someone who actually deserved him.

I looked at Juniper with concern.  "As much as you wish it weren't true, I do care, Juniper," I said to her.  "If I didn't... well, I would not be here."  It was that simple to me, even though things hardly ever were.

I turned to him and sighed. "I guess I can't really fault you for that, I care about you too." I admitted with a sigh. I turned to look out the window, not being able to look at him. "I don't know if you should be here. What if my family finds out?"

I shook my head.  "It doesn't matter," I said to her, thinking of everything that I had been put through in my life.  "I will figure out a way to deal with whatever may come."

I shook my head. "No," I said simply, "it's my fault your here. I'll make sure they know that." I closed my eyes, my head was hurting again but I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to take Lincoln's potion again so soon. "I'll make sure they blame me. You won't have to worry."

I shrugged.  "It's not like they can do worse to me than what has already been done," I muttered, thinking of everything that had happened to me.  And then the final straw that made the Lupins step in and take me away.

I opened my eyes and turned to him, still trying to get my headache to go away. "I don't care, I'll make sure you don't get hurt." I assured him. I closed my eyes, not really wanting to argue with him. "You think I'm strong enough to walk yet?"

I shook my head and then realized that she had her eyes closed.  "No," I said to her with authority.  "You need to stay in here for a few days to rest.  If you start moving too soon... it won't be good.  Trust me on that."  I had been injured like she was before and I had no choice but to get up and act like I was not hurt because it would be worse for me if I let myself heal naturally.  It was not good at all.  She had the opportunity to take a few days to let Madam Pomfrey work her magic and so I wanted to make sure that she got better.

My eyes flew open and I turned towards him, causing my head to swim in pain. I winced, but tried my best to hide it from him. "Lincoln, Draco and I don't have a few days. I need to get out of here tonight. Draco needs my help." Tears started forming in my eyes and I blinked them back as best as I could. "Draco needs me. Lincoln, I'm fine."

I looked at her, hating that tears were there.  "I know Draco needs you.  But he needs you to be okay and healthy.  Going to him like this is only going to make matters worse," I said to her gently.  I leaned forward.  "He's already worried sick... don't leave too soon and then collapse or something.  That will only increase his concern."  I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.  "I know you won't tell me everything -- an that's fine -- but what does he need?  If it's something you can tell me, I'll do it for him.  Whether he wants my help or not, I'll force it upon him."  I wanted to help Juniper get better the best that I could, even if it meant helping Draco deal with his stuff.

I balled my hands into fists and let my head fall back onto my pillow as I close my eye. "Lincoln, I can't tell you what's going on. I don't want you to get involved. I need you to stay safe." I opened my eyes and turned to him, trying to find a way to make him understand. "If I don't get out of here soon and help Draco, it won't matter if I'm okay and healthy soon enough anyway. So I'm going to go help him," I sat up fully and looked around for something to help me. I saw Lincoln's flask and an idea formed in my mind. All I needed to do was get my headache and other pain under control and forget my attack for a bit so I could get out of here and find Draco. The potion could do that, but it would make me tired. This time, I would be ready for it and I would not pass out. "with or without your help." I finished. Without thinking, I grabbed the flask, opened it and took a swig which I guessed to be about the the amount of the cap. I squinted my eyes shut through the iciness but forced myself to swallow. I took a few moments as the iciness turned to warmth and the pain decreased. I sighed and felt a smile come over my lips as I opened my eyes again. Not wanting to fall asleep, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed so they were dangling. I was nervous to start walking until I was sure I wouldn't fall so I just smiled up at Lincoln. "So, what are you studying now?"

<<so I wasn't really expecting June to take the cure like that but apparently she feels the need to help Draco more then get better herself.....if you want me to change it just let me know..... >>

I resisted rolling my eyes at Juniper.  Did I not just say she did not have to tell me what was going on?  But to just let me help?  I was not going to let her go do something stupid because she thought she needed to help Draco.  He could handle it for a bit.  If she hurt herself more, then he would be horrible.  I knew that it killed her not to help right now, but it would be worse for boh of them if she tried anything right this second.  He could wait two days. 

My eyes widened when Juniper just up and took more of the remedy I had made.  "You really think that was a good idea?" I snapped at her, for the first time ever getting upset with her really.  "June, that isn't made to take it like that.  We're not changing subjects, so don't try that on me.  Not after you just pulled that."

<<.....and I had no idea Lincoln would get upset!  He hardly ever gets upset.  With anyone.  he's just overly patient with people!  Holy crow!  I love it! >>

My mouth fell open in shock when he snapped at me and I flinched slightly but narrowed my eyes in anger. "If it helps Draco, even a tiny bit, it's the best idea I've had all year." I informed, matching his tone. I had failed in helping Draco finish the cabinet and figuring out what had been wrong with it and I hadn't be able to convince him to let them kill me so he wouldn't have to complete his task.

"You said you take it as you need it and that's what I'm doing." I countered. "If you want to see me alive come summer, I need to help Draco now, not two days from now, and in order to do that, I need the potion."

<< oh I love this too! June just wants to help Draco through this difficult time!>>

My eyes narrowed and I took a deep breath, digging deep down for patience... but not really finding any.  "Then fine," I said to her, standing up.  "Do whatever you want, June.  But know this:  this will not help Draco.  He will be sick with worry about you one way or another.  And I'm sure he'd much rather you be taken care of in here... then out about the castle unsure where you are, how you're doing, whether or not you're in pain, what have you."  I hoisted my bag onto my shoulder.  "I'm not going to stay here and argue wtih you when you're not going to listen.  I hate arguments.  They always escalate into..." I trailed off, shaking my head.  I knew what arguments used to always escalate into before I was at the Lupins.

I took another deep breath.  "Just do yourself a favor and at least heed my warning about that stuff.  Only take it when necessary... don't abuse it.  I don't know what it'll do if you take it more than that," I warned.  I put my hands in my pockets and started to walk away.

<< Ooookaaaayyyyy.... Lincoln is taking control.  I guess he really hates arguing.  I mean, I don't blame him, but still... he never walks away from people... I'm getting a whole new perspective with him right now.  It's kind of interesting and surprising for me.  I love when the characters get a mind of their own.>>