You never know when a lunatic will come along & give you a sadistic choice to make -- Early Winter 1997

"Okay." I was slightly sad that I would still remember what happened but I understood. And, honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to forget forever, just dull it a bit. That way I would always remember what they were capable of, not that I needed this attack to know that. I shook my head just enough to clear it, but not quite enough to increase my headache. I looked at the cap in my shaky hands and put my other hand on it to steady it slightly. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before looking at Lincoln. I forced a small smile. "Here goes nothing." I put the cap to my lips and threw the liquid to the back of my mouth. The iciness Lincoln had warned me about fill me and I forced myself to swallow quickly before I coughed a few times. Once I recovered, I felt the warmness slow spreading through my body. It dulled the pain as it went and I closed my eyes and sighed. I smiled at him a few moments later, "It's working." I allowed myself to be happy for a moment, finding it slightly easier to do without the physical pain. "About how long do I have until I fall asleep?"

Her questions were hard to answer.  I had no idea how quickly it would affect her compared to me.  "Soon, I would think," I told her, trying to remember how quickly it happened for me when I first started taking the potion.  "Just lay back and relax and you might not even realize you drift off."  I remembered the one time I took it, I really should have been in a bed not in a chair.  I had fallen asleep without realizing it and I was even more stiff than normal when I had woken up.

I nodded and did as he said. I was actually somewhat comfy now that there was no physical pain. It was nice. I turned to look at Lincoln and sighed contently. "I'm already feeling better." I informed him. I already loved his remedy and I had yet to feel it's full effects. The memories were still there, but it was easier to distract myself without the pain that went with them. I had to make sure that I had my few questions answered before I fell asleep. "How often do I need to take the potion?" I had to make sure I was ready for the next dose, I didn't want to risk not taking it.

"I usually just take it once a day - if that," I told her.  "I only took it to be able to rest when I was not here."  I hardly called where I spent my holidays 'home'.  "It may be different for you... I'm not entirely sure."  I had to be honest about everything with her.

"Once a day?" I asked. How could this amazing feeling last all day? I shook my head and was happy that my headache wasn't as bad as it had been. "Is there anyway I could take it a bit more often, just while I'm healing, and then ease off of it? Oh," I realized that I hadn't even asked if I could have anymore of his potion. "That is if you'll let me have some more of it." I hoped he would, it was already working pretty well, I would be out of here and helping Draco in no time.

I hesitated, not wanting to tell her to not do something but at the same time not wanting to give her permission to do something, either.  I ran a hand through my hair.  "I only took it once a day... mainly at night.  Just so that way I could get rest," I said.  "You can do whatever you want... I just know how it affected me.  And I brought you the flask for a reason, June.  That's yours."

I had closed my eyes as he spoke, tiredness coming over me. I didn't want to become dependant on the potion but I was sure I would need it more the once a day, at least while I was still healing. "How about at each meal? Does that sounds reasonable? At least while I'm healing?" I didn't think three times a day wasn't too much, and I would cut back as soon as I could. I opened my eyes slightly and turned to him when he said the flask was mine. "It's mine? Really?" I wanted to take it in my hand again but lacked the energy to reach it. "I'll pay you back once I'm out of here." I assured him as I closed my eyes again. "I'm so happy that it's working."

I pursed my lips slightly.  "I'm not going to tell you how to take the potion," I said to her slowly, "because I'm ont going to pretend to have all the answers as to how it will affect you compared to me.  I'm just telling you how I take it when I need to."  I was not entirely sure if that was wise, but it was what I thought was the best thing to do right now.  I shook my head at her.  "You don't need to worry about paying me back for anything, June.  I keep telling you that," I added kindly.

"Take it when I need to, I'll just do that for now." My eyes were closed, and I gave a small nod in agreement, I liked how that sounded. I could take it when I needed it and then decrease the number of times as I got better. It seemed perfect. I wanted to protest, to say that I owed him more then he could know, but I was too tired to say that much. "We'll see." Is what I settled on. "Thank you," I muttered, "for everything." I knew I would fall asleep soon but I wanted to make sure he knew how much I appreciated everything he had done for me. Words would never be enough but they were all I had right now.

I was glad to see that the potion was working for her.  "Just rest, June," I told her softly.  I readjusted myself in the chair I was sitting in and would wait until she was fully out before pulling out my book and reading what was necessary in Muggle Studies.  I did not want her to think she was interrupting me if she had any more quesitons or even if she just wanted to talk until she passed out.  I would be here for her.

Behind my eye lids, I had visions of my attack. The potion hadn't worked on them quite yet and the longer they were closed, the worse it got. "Aunt Bella." I muttered softly, wondering in the back of my mind if Lincoln had head me. They had hurt me to get to Draco, my brother, my twin who had an impossible task to complete to save my life. "Draco." I said in the same voice. I knew the potion would help me sleep without having nightmares but how was I going to fall asleep while my memories were still playing in my head? Lincoln was right, no matter what it was, physical pain always ended before the mental. The bruises always faded before the voices in your head could be silenced. "Lincoln." I called, my eyes still closed because I lacked the energy to open them. "Can you talk to me until I fall asleep? About anything?" I didn't care what, I just needed a distraction to allow myself to fall asleep.

I nodded despite the fact that she had her eyes closed.  "Of course I can," I said, wracking my brain to think of something that I could bore her with.  I wanted it not to be entirely interesting so she would just drift off to sleep.  "Well... I don't know if I ever told you what I planned to do once I graduate this year," I started off.  "I plan on still helping those in need -- mostly children -- so they don't have to grow up the way I did."

"That sounds like something you would do." I said, my voice full of tiredness. "You'll always be helping someone. No matter what." I sighed as I burrowed my head slightly deeper into the pillow. "I think you'll be great at that." I told him. I yawned.

I shrugged.  "I'm not so sure... but I'm glad I have your vote of confidence," I said to her quietly.  "I just do my best when it comes to being there for the underdog... though I don't always succeed."

I forced myself to use some of my remaining energy to open my eyes so I could look at him when I retorted. "You succeeded with me." I reminded him. "You'll be great." I didn't have much energy left so I just closed my eyes again. "You'll be great." I repeated softly.