Deep into that darkness peering, I long stood there... wondering, fearing, doubting -- Early Winter 1997

I shook my head, not wanting to say out loud the fact that it would never be over for us. As long as we were Malfoy's, we would always be in some mess. "There has to be something we can do to show them we won't take this anymore." I knew there was nothing though, no matter how much I wanted it, they would always use me and Draco would do what they wanted to make sure they never hurt me. No one seemed to realize that them forcing him to do these tasks hurt me more then anything. "There has to be something." I said, looking up at him, desperation written on my face.

I felt sadness come over me when I saw the despair on my sister's face.  I wish there was something I could do for her, but they were just empty promises.  I guess that was better than nothing.  "I'll figure something out, June," I told her softly.  "I always do.  We'll be able to escape all of this one day."

I smiled sadly up at Draco, knowing they were just empty promise but I appreciated the gesture. "We will get out of here. We'll both make sure we do." I turned my smile as genuine as I could, which wasn't very. "Besides, you still have to get your amazing thing right?" I wanted to lighten the mood, even if only slightly.

I nodded, trying to let her ease the tension and worry that was filling the air around us.  "Exactly," I said, wanting to help lighten the way we were feeling at the moment.  "You'll get your something amazing, too."  I did not want to think that she may end up leaving me... though, in a sad way, that could be her something amazing in a manner of speaking.  She would finally be free from Father -- even if it was in the worst possible way.

"We'll see about that." The only amazing thing I wanted was for Draco to not have to do this task but I knew he wouldn't let me and the Death Eaters didn't care about anyone else. Heck, they didn't really care about me either, but that was secondary now. There was a consequence to my amazing thing though, me being killed and leaving Draco here alone, where I couldn't protect him anymore. I shuddered at the thought but looked up at Draco, "I'm not going to let them hurt you." I wondered how crazy I sounded when it was my life on the line but I knew if Draco went through with he task, it would stay with him forever and hurt him that way. If he didn't, I would no longer be there and who knows what they would do to him for not completing the task, not to mention after?

"Nor will I let them hurt you," I told her quietly, though I was not entirely sure that was a promise I could keep.  And that thought killed me on the inside.  I could always protect her.  I always had a type of dominance over any situation presented to me -- except this one and I loathed that.  I loathed this entire ordeal, but what else could I do?  They were using the one thing against me that they knew would work -- Juniper.

I took a shaky breath, "We'll protect each other, just like always." I gave him a small smile. I would make sure he would be okay and get out of this. Somehow. I shook my head to clear it. "We'll figure something out." I tried to convince both of us. We had to, Draco wasn't going to let me get killed and I wasn't going to let him become a murderer just to save me. We needed a plan so we could both get what we wanted but I feared there was no perfect plan. One of us would have to give and we were both to stubborn to do that.

I was not entirely sure if we could figure something out, but I knew I would do what I had to do to protect Juniper -- I always did.  I nodded at her slightly.  "Yes... just like always," I agreed, though I tried to keep my face blank.  I did not want her to read it like she was able to.  I knew that it would give me away.  I was sure that she would naturally assume that I was being stubborn as I knew she was.

I could tell he didn't fully believe we would figure something out, and I wanted to try to convince him that we would. "Together we can do anything, including getting through this." Even if we didn't find the perfect plan, we would somehow have to get through this and that I was sure we could do. Together. Even if together ended with me being killed, we would still get through this somehow. "We're stronger together then we ever are apart." I reminded him. He maybe stronger then me but together, I felt like we really could do anything. "We'll always have each other." Even if I wasn't next to him physically, I wanted to make sure he knew that he would always have me. No matter what. I was trying it say things I thought might convince us but I felt more like I was stringing together words that could help. I hoped they did helped, I hated seeing my twin like this. "We will figure it out."

I attempted a smile for her; she really was trying hard to make me feel better about this entire situation.  She just did not know all the details and that was for the best.  It just made it more difficult for her to see what I was going through.  I nodded at her.  "We are always better together than apart," I agreed.  There was no denying that notion.  I just hoped that we would survive this together and not die in this together.  Either way, though, we would be with each other no matter what.  And, sometimes, I thought dying was the best option in all of this.  I just could not wish that on Juniper.

I nodded. "We always have been and we always will be." I gave a slight smile. "We will do our best and we'll make it through this." I assured him as best as I could. We would make it through this, I just couldn't guarantee that we would be together when all of this was over. I hoped we would be, but I didn't want my brother to complete this task just to save my life. "I will do my best to make sure we both get out of this okay." I would try to find a solution where he didn't have to do this task and I wouldn't get killed. I wasn't sure one existed but if it did, I would find it. That was the best promise I could make.

"With no martyrdom," I added, giving her a look.  I knew we would both die for each other without a second thought if we thought it would fix our problems.  But that was not the way to do things now.  I would not be able to live with myself if she let them kill her and I knew she would not survive if I died... they would make sure of that.

I sighed and shook my head slightly. "The only thing I can guarantee is that I won't sacrifice myself to them." I knew Draco wanted me to tell him that I would be okay but I couldn't. I didn't know if I would be. "I can't tell you they won't kill or hurt me, but I will try my best to make sure that doesn't happen." I hoped he would be okay with that because that's as close to a promise as I could get at this point.

I nodded slowly.  "And that's the best either one of us can hope for... in either situation," I told her.  If I could not go through with this, I had no idea what they would end up doing to me.  I feared they would leave me alone and go straight for Juniper... but I learned never to expect anything with the Death Eaters.  If thye had an opportunity to hurt someone,t hey usually did.

I nodded, happy that we had somewhat come to an agreement. "So we both promise that then?" I wanted to confirm. "We won't sacrifice ourselves and we'll try our best to make sure we don't get killed or hurt by their hands." I knew he didn't really have to worry about the second point, if he didn't complete the task they would probably take care of me first before they did anything to him, if they did. They may figure losing me is punishment enough for him, and not do anything else. They were too unpredictable though, so you could never really know what to expect.