Deep into that darkness peering, I long stood there... wondering, fearing, doubting -- Early Winter 1997

"Oh the eye roll was definitely necessary."  I assured him scarcasticly with another eye roll. I gave a small laugh and sighed before I turned serious. "We both know why that is." I replied quietly at his comment about marks. "You're trying to make me look better by making stupid mistakes." I let that sink in for a minute before I continued. "Nothing will change what Father things about me, or what anyone thinks of me for that matter. You don't need to worry about me. I'm not smarter then you Draco. I think you might be smarter then me acually." I tried to shrug it off as no big deal.

I grinned at her.  "Of course I'm smarter than you," I pointed out to her.  "but that doesn't mean I always need to flaunt it."  And I hated how sometimes June could practically read my mind.  I shook my head.  "Nah, I don't do things like that," I said to her.  "And, it is important what one person thinks of you -- which is me.  Trust me, June, you mean the world to at least someone."

I raised my eyebrows slightly and looked at my brother. "Encouraging Draco, really." I replied sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and shook my head before I turned back to my own work. I pretended to think about what to write next in my Charms essay I was working on but I was thinking about what Draco had said. "You are right about one thing." I said, unable to look at him. "The only person who I care what they think about me is you." It was a moment before I could turn to look at him again. "You're the only one I really have Draco. You're the only one who really cares about me."

My mouth went up in one corner when Juniper said that.  I looked across the common room before I looked back at my sister.  "You're the only one who really cares about me... for me," I added.  Father cared about me as long as I stayed doing what he wanted me to do.  If I put one toe out of line, well, that was not a good thing for anybody.

I smiled slightly at my brother. "We have each other." I sighed and nodded, as if agreeing with myself. "Even if we don't have anyone else, we'll always be there for each other no matter what." I turn back to my work before I correct myself. "Well, I'll always be there for you no matter what."

I stared at her, my quill stopped moving.  "You really think I won't always be there for you?" I said to her, slight disbelief in my voice.  "You said it correctly the first time around, Juniper."

My quill stopped moving but I couldn't look at Draco. I took a shaky breath before I could respond. "I know." I replied slowly. "Sometimes I still have Fathers voice in my mind I guess." I hadn't ever realized that I had correct myself, it was just automatic after so many years of hearing that I was worthless and no one wanted me.

I still did not continue writing my essay.  "You ought to know by now to listen to at least mine if you aren't going to listen to your own voice in your head," I said to her.  I always told her I would not leave her -- hell, we had a plan.  We were going to escape with each other when we graduated.  How could she not think I would be there?