Deep into that darkness peering, I long stood there... wondering, fearing, doubting -- Early Winter 1997

I flinched slightly when I head movement. I nodded, wanting to get off this topic as well. This was one of the hardest things we had ever had to face but we would get through this. Draco had to. "We can talk about what ever you want Draco." I mentally ran thorough conversation topics but came up mostly blank. I realized that Draco and I became so distant these past few months, I wasn't really sure what to talk to him about anymore. "We could talk about school?" I more asked then suggested, "Although, I'm not sure how much you're focusing on that right now."

"I have to keep appearances," I pointed out to her.  "I'm still Quidditch captain, too... and Prefect... and a student."  I sighed, wondering how I was even keeping up with everything.  I was getting warnings from Aunt Bellatrix and the Dark Lord himself that I was not doing well enough when it came to what they wanted of me.  I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, realizing how shaggy it had gotten.  "I've been a better student in the past; that pretty much sums it up.  The only thing that doesn't seem to be suffering is when I'm on the pitch.  We haven't done too badly this year... despite where my mind's been."

"You've always been good at keeping up appearances Draco." I reminded him. I listened as he talked and nodded. "That true. You won your last game and I think being a Prefect isn't too bad for you, people are too scared of you to of anything against the rules." I pointed out. "Although, you're breaking a lot of the rules so maybe being a Prefect is in your favour." I raised my eyebrows slightly, even if he wasn't Prefect, he could probably still get away with at least something due to fear. "I can help you with some of the homework if you want." I knew we didn't take all the same classes but I could still help him as best as I could.

The corner of my mouth turned up slightly at the thought of one thing being in my favor.... well, maybe two things if I wanted to count the fear and being a Prefect.  I sighed and shook my head.  "It's alright," I said, knowing that she would end up trying to do some of my work anyways.  Then, I thought, it might be better fi I took her up on helping me with homework rather than anything else.  "It can't be obvious or anything," I said, changing my views slightly.  It was all about appearances, which June knew all too well.  and, as she pointed out, I was the master at keeping them, even now.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course it won't be obvious Draco, do you think I was born yesterday?" Of course, I've been good at keeping secrets for a while and keeping up appearances, pretty much since the day I was born. No one could find out that I was helping Draco. If anyone found out, they may figure out I was helping him with more than just his homework. And I had to respect Draco's wishes that he did not want anyone to find that out. I shook my head to clear that thought, happy that he was actually letting me help him more. "What would you like to start with?"

I shook my head, shrugging.  "I honestly don't even know anymore," I said.  It was all getting extremely overwhelming and I was not sure how much more I could handle if it were not for Juniper.

I looked sadly over at my brother as I took his hands in mine to squeeze them before I let them go again. "Why don't we start with one class." Draco really was the planner and organizer of us but he needed help and that's where I came in. I tried to think of the best way to help him right now. "What class do you have the most work to do in? We can start there and work our way though them all, if you'd like."

I sighed, trying to think of what needed the most work.  "Probably Transfiguration," I said, shaking my head slgihtly.  McGonagall was the worst person for me to be slacking on the work.  She was as bad as Snape, usually, but he knew what was going on and did not try to get me into trouble.

I nodded. "Professor McGonagall would be hard." I agreed. "What are you working on now? Is there essays you need help with? What can I do?" I had to make sure Draco would get through this and maintain the reputation. The last thing we needed was for Father to get involved if we didn't keep up with the reputation.

I shrugged.  "I have it all written down in the common room," I said.  the days were all blurring together except for the fact that I had this horrible thing looming over me.  but there was not much else I could do...

"As soon as we get there, we'll get started." I assured him. "We'll get it all done and then tackle the next subject." It wasn't the greatest plan but it was a plan none the less. I was hoping this would help him. If he wasn't going to let me help with bigger things than the least I could do was help with school work.

I was past the point of caring about schoolwork, but knew that I needed to care about it due to keeping up appearances.  But would any of this schooling matter if I succeeded?  The Dark Lord would take over and everything would change anyways...

I took his hand in mine and forced a smile at him. "Do you want to go work on it now? It may take your mind off of things for a bit. Maybe." I knew nothing could really do that but I would try my best to make sure he would focus on something else, even if only temporarily.

"Yeah, may as well," I said, though it really was the last thing on my mind.  I looked at her and sighed, leading the way back to teh Slytherin common room.  No more could I show my vulnerability.  I took a deep breath and put on the mask everyone was used to seeing from me.

I followed Draco, seeing him put the mask everyone else expected on. I sighed, wish more than ever that he did not have to uphold our Malfoy reputation. I took his hand and squeezed it for a second before I let go. I sighed as I looked up at my brother. "I'll always be here, for what ever you need. No matter what happens."