All you can see is revenge, you can't even see reality -- February 2017

" He can't show favoritism with students...even in a bad situation like this babe, " I paused as he spoke. " Of course you saw Boris....you were fighting, Boris gets a laugh from fighting. I don't understand why you let this get in the way..." I said " Even then you know that we didn't want anything or to be treated differently than what we were."

She was right; Boris loved a good fight.  I did feel guilty for provoking him when I knew Remus had a hard time controlling him sometimes.  I sighed and shook my head.  "I was just hot headed... I'll calm down evetually and talk to him," I said, shrugging.  It would nto happen any time soon, but it was Remus.  He would understand.

I knelt to him, " I know you will babe. " I said as I gave him a kiss on the cheek as I went to change my position on the couch. I looked at him, " I need you to know, your daughter will not want to be treated differently. She is a mini me. The more you treat her differently....the more it will explode."

I sighed heavily, knowing exactly how much like a mini version of Lily our youngest child was.  "I know... but I don't know if I can not treat her differently.  I'm automatically going to be more protective of her now," I said to Lily.

I sighed as I looked right in his eyes. " I know you'll want too, trust me so will I. It will drive her away more than help her though.." I told him. " It's just knowing that people you love see you as weak or something...I know what it's like. She is not going to want help. So, offer it just like you did to me and the girls. " I suggested. Helping her right now was going to have to wait until she came to us.

"Yeah, and the way I offered it to you guys back then is going to be completely different than me offering help to my daughter.  It will be as overbearing no matter what... but it's not like I can cuddle with her like I did you.  It's not like I can do everything I did for Ember for my daughter.  It's not like I can just be an ear for her like I was for Chloe," I explained.  Lyla was completely different.

I raised an eyebrow at him, " You know you and her could have a day just for the two of you...to watch movies and just have a day in something to help her relax." I suggested. I know she loved having those days with her dad. Just to do nothing really except watching movies and talk to him. " She loves having those days with you..." I said as I urged him to agree to it. " You can definitely be an ear for her.....she may need you to be an ear for her or she may need me. Honey, we can't tell her she can't come talk to us if it is something bothering her about what happened. She needs to know we can listen without blowing up. Save that until you're with me..or the guys..." I said.

I looked at Lily.  "I would never blow up at her or in front of her," I said.  There was no way I could do that.  Well, except for in the office with Remus.  "I don't know what had taken over me when we were in the office... I would normally never have done that in front of anyone."  I sighed and crossed my arms slightly.  "I could do that, though... have a father-daughter day.  Maybe I can take a leaf out of Moony's book... take her on a date."  I tensed slightly, though, saddened by the fact that my best mate irritated me so much.  I knew I would not be able to talk to him any time soon, maybe I should not take a leaf from his book.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Spend time with your daughter...not time with Lucy and Remus and your daughter..." I made a point to say that now. He needs to know she will need help, but when she wants it. Not when he feels the need to give it.

I rolled my eyes.  "that's not what I said, Lily.  I said I would take a leaf from their book -- meaning, steal his idea.  Merlin, I'm not that stupid," I said to her, kind of insulted she would think that I would spoil time wiht just Lyla by taking her out with Lucy and Remus.

" Yes, I know what you meant...I mean you having this day with your daughter and all you will be thinking about is how he and Lucy go on father dates when he wasn't having such an issue with Boris...I mean, just have a day with your daughter and not let yourself get all caught up in what Remus did or does with Lucy." I said as if he should have known this by now.

"No kidding?" I said sarcastically.  Obviously I would not compare my time with Lyla to Remus and Lucy.  I would not even think about those two during this time.  Hell, I hated the fact that remus had come up so much in this conversation acting like a good father when he was not even being a good godfather to Lyla.  Perhaps that was where my frustration was coming from and it was showing towards Lily again.  "I just thought I'd steal the idea.  I don't give a fuck what Remus has done or didn't do with Lucy.  we all know what he doesn't do to help our daugther... hell, maybe I won't even worry about the bloody date night.  I can figure out my own idea for Lyla."  I was starting to get surly again.

I put my hands on my hips, all right I guess this is round two. " Fine." I said simply. I am not staying here to talk to him about this. If he is going to rant on and on about it. It's a good idea. " Do what you want with Lyla I suggest something soon.." I told him as I went out of the room and into the kitchen to tidy up in there as I was going to tidy up in here than if he continued to be like this I was going to make him sleep down here tonight to cool off.

I could not believe that I was even talking about Remus at this point.  I sighed and followed Lily.  "Do you know when their next Hogsmeade visit is?" I asked her.  "I can do something then since she had insisted on going back to school so soon..." I still did not agree with that, either.

I turned towards him, " Go ask her yourself.." I was having enough of this. I was done, he can talk to her. I headed up towards the stairs to go our bedroom to start a load of laundry. " I'll leave that to you..." I said as I briskly walked up and into our bedroom.