Scared to death -- Winter 2002

So... it was Bill who was the biological father of my daughter.  I was grateful that it was one our family members -- which was what I wanted rather than a stranger.  I nodded and looked at my wife and brother.  "Well, then, let's start on everything that needs to be done.  Mrs. P will be back in here soon enough," I said, thinking that this was a big risk for both of them, but what other choice did we have?

I watched the four of them go into the other room and wished that I could be in there for Des.  When Lily cam eout, I tried to read her expression, but she was hiding everything well.  Was it good or bad news?

I didn't want to put this amount of pressure on the family that already had more than enough of it. I looked down avoiding all of the gazes that were on me as I headed to my desk to give them enough time to talk about it as I printed off the paperwork. Did I want to do this procedure of course I did. I just stretched knowing that this was going to be a hard choice. Something they really need to talk about and tell family members what was going on. I rubbed my eyes looking down at the files. Knowing this would be difficult no matter the conversation.

I had just gotten to the hospital as I saw Charlie, Desi and Bill go into a room led by Lily. " Hey everyone...what's going on?" I asked carrying Sidney in my arms as we got there I put Sidney on the ground to see her siblings. I sat down near the kids so I could keep an eye on them.

I looked at Des and Charlie.  "I guess we should go out and tell everyone, hmm?" I suggested.  When they nodded, we walked out of the room and I saw Dora and Sidney.  The twins were helping with their little sister -- Seth was always a little protector with her, making sure she had everything she needed.  Rosalynn was the one who always helped her sister get away with stealing snacks or anything else.  I tried to smile to everyone so that way they knew things were going to be alright.  "I'll let Charlie tell everyone," I said, though I did take Dora's hand and sat next to her.  This would do a lot to her -- if I could not be in tip top shape for at least a handful of months...

I took a deep breath, holding onto my wife's hand.  I cleared my throat.  "Well, Bill is a match," I said, seeing the relief on the family's faces.  "It's still risky, but we've talked about it... we just have to tell Mrs. P."  I looked around, knowing what this news meant.  We all knew who was biologically the father of my daughter now.  I continued onward.  "It'll take up to a year for them both to be back to full health..."

I was relieved that there had abeen a match, but there was still so much to think and talk about.  I knew, though, that Bill was going to do this for his brother -- that was what any one of them would do.  That was why we were all here, was it not?

I was surprised that there had been a match alreayd, but relieved.  The procedure was always something risky, but if it was the only way to really save Quinn... I stayed quiet and sitting where I was, though I wanted to get up and give some support to Desdemona.

I nodded as Charlie spoke as my grip on Bill's hand tightened for a moment. Of course I am going to go into protective worry mode. It's what I do. Worry for the two of them. From what I get it's a very risky surgery. I would keep my worry to myself for now. I doubt I would bring it up, or at least attempt to not bring it up. I was glad there was a match for little Quinn.

I printed off all the work as I made my way back to the group that were all chatting outside. " Well...I have the paperwork that needs to be filled out before we can continue any further." I told them. I looked around the room as it was filled with hope, love and worry. What I thought were the exact things on my plate right now. " I'll leave this here as I go check on Quinn. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask me."

I looked at everyone and then walked over to my dad.  "So... you're going to be the one to help Quinn?" I asked him, looking at all the adults.

I could not believe what was going on with Quinn, but the fact that Bill was going to go through with the surgery to help get Quinn her kidney... it was amazing.  Had I been the match, would I do it?  Of course.  I ran a hand through my hair, looking at the rest of the family, seeing a mixture of worry and relief on everyone's faces.

I looked over at Bill and smiled the best that I could at him to reassure him.  I felt a strong hand on my shoulder and realized taht Remus came over to me.  I wrapped my free arm around my brother's waist and hugged him, still keeping a hand tightly squeezed around CHarlie's.  "It's still bad... but better..." I whispered.

I pulled Seth onto one knee and Rosalynn onto my other one.  "Yeah, I'm going to be able to help your cousin," I said to them softly, wondering how I was going to explain everything to them.  "it means that I won't be able to do a lot of things that I do now with you, though."  I looked up when Mrs. Potter came back wiht paperwork.  I was glad that Mum took the papers from her.  I looked at the kids and Dora.  "Alright... I've got to go do some grown up stuff... I'll be right back," I said, moving and putting the twins on the seat next to Dora.  Giving the twins, Sidney, and Dora all a kiss, I took my papers from my mum while Charlie took theirs.  I smiled at Charlie and, before filling out anything, we embraced.  I could feel all the thanks that Charlie would never be able to voice into that one hug.

I hugged Bill tightly, trying to tell him everything I could in that one embrace.  I let go of him and we both grabbed some quills and started to fill out the blanks on the stacks we each had.  I noticed that my writing was sloppy due to how much I was shaking.  It was ridiculous.  I took a deep breath and restarted, this time it was a bit more legible.  I just could not believe this.