The bitterness of one who's left alone -- January 1999

I really wished he did not think that way.  "Evan, don't talk like that," I said to him sternly.  The tone of my voice made him look at me.  "If you always think negatively, then that's all you'll get.  If you want to change or to find the truth about everything, you need to think positively.  You know you've got me, your mum, and Faith to help you, right?  Along with Professor Lupin and everyone else.  I just know that you don't necessarily trust everyone else."  I was not daft, I knew that I should not mention his father or brother, but he did have them whether he wanted to admit it or not.

I looked over at Maisie.  This was why we were friends.  She always tried to shed light on everything.  Professor Lupin told me that was all I needed was a little light.  "I know... but it's so hard to think that way after everything," I admitted sotly.

I nodded at him, able to at least understand that aspect.  "Evan, that's why you have us," I said to him, smiling a little bit.  "We're here to help you -- whether you want it or not.  Really."

I sighe, knowing that she was right.  "I know, I know," I admitted.  "I'm just not used to that... I'm used to being on my own."

I smiled at him.  "Well, best believe you're no longer alone," I assured him.  "Espeically with your mum with you and Faith.  They came back.  And I'm around, too, Evan."  I wanted him to not feel alone anymore.

I looked at Maisie.  "I know they did," I said to her.  "But it's just hard to get used to actually being loved by someone instead of just used..."  Of course I was talking about Peter.

His statement made me feel horrible.  I knew that he felt certain ways about things... but never like he always got used.  I looked at him with empathy.  "I am so sorry," I said to him.  "I really wish I could help change what happened to you because of Peter."

I shrugged, sighing.  "Well, who knows?  With everything that's happening lately, things could change..." I said, though I was not entirely sure how hopeful I was about it.  I was still completely messed up.

I smirked.  "Yeah, things are changing," I pointed out to him.  "You're actually speaking in full paragraphs instead of just sentences..."  I knew that would elicit something from him, I Just was not entirely sure.

I looked over at Maisie and rolled my eyes at her.  "Oh, shut it," I said to her, making a point not to say any more than that.

I smirked at him and stood up.  I wanted to offer him my hand, but I knew he wold not take it and i did not want to hurt myself.  "Let's go do something... perhaps a fly?" I suggested, thinking that it would be a bit chilly, but it would be fun nonetheless.

"It's freezing out," I said, shaking my head at Maisie.  "How about not a fly.  We can do something else, though."  I added that last part because I did not want her to htink I was trying to blow her off.  I really did want to spend time iwth her.

At first I was disappointed, but then was relieved when he suggested doing something else.  I smiled at him.  "Alright... how about a game of wizard's chess in the Great Hall or something?  Or the common room?" I offered, not entirely sure if he would be up for that.

I nodded, smiling slightly.  "That is something we can easily do," I said to her quietly.  "I'd say your common room -- we can get snacks first, too, from the kitchens."

I was happy that Evan agreed so easily.  "That sounds lovely," I said to him, standing up.  I offered him my hand, not sure if he would take it.  He surprised me and did... and we did not let go once we were walking towards the basement.  "I wonder if they have any brioche left," I mused as we went down a flight of stairs.