I got a picture of you, I carry in my heart -- 15 December 1998

My head few up when I head Lincoln call my name. I stood and wiped the tears away before he turned the corner. I forced a smile up at him. "Hi Lincoln, sorry about all of that. Draco's just on edge with Father having visited." I wasn't sure why I was making excuses for him when he had been the one to hurt me, but I left it at that. "I guess I should get packing my stuff so I'm out of there when they go home. Draco probably doesn't want to see me right when they get home." I was trying to figure out where I was going to go. The Manor seemed like the only option. I had recently started working in housekeeping at the Leaky Cauldron but I didn't have enough money for my own place yet and I couldn't afford to stay there. Maybe Tom would let me stay there in exchange for work but how would I actually make money then? I took a shaky breath. "Back to the Manor, I guess." There was a catch in my voice from the mere idea of going back to the Manor, but it was my only option. "I just hope Father with let me stay there." He had kicked out and would just love to send me on the streets with no where to live. Love to rub it in my face just how much of a disappointment I am and how much I depend on Draco. Tears fell down my cheeks. "I have nowhere to go." I admitted softly.

I could see the strain on Draco's face and I glared at him, crossing my now free arms.  "What did you do?" I asked him, sighing heavily.  I could see the pain, anger, guilt, and everything else that Draco tried to hide in his eyes.

I shook my head at her, putting  a hand on her shoulder.  "Draco would tell you this himself, but he fears he would do more harm than good by speaking to you right now," I said, unsure why I was trying to help Draco.  Oh, right, for the woman in front of me.  "He doesn't want you to leave the flat... he just did not want to see you right now.  That's what he meant when he said to leave," I explained softly.  "You just need to give him space.  Remember you didn't enjoy the bombardment that much when I came up to you about the issues you had," I said to her.  "That's probably how he is feeling right now.  He doesn't like to be the one who is being protected, he'd rather do the protecting."

I took a shaky breath and shook my head. "No, Draco hates me, just like Father does. And what if he still doesn't want to see me when they go home?" I asked. I shook my head to clear it. "I just have to find somewhere to go." I looked up at him. "I may not have enjoyed the bombardment but when I realized what had happened to me, I had to make sure I got better so I could help Draco and you could get back to studying. What if I give him too much space and he keeps drinking? He doesn't need that in his life right now." I started pacing, trying to figure everything out. "I doesn't even think Pansy knows."

I shook my head at her.  "No, you're going to stay with them, June," I assured her.  "Especially if Pansy has a say in the matter.  And you know that's not true; Draco would risk his life for you.  He loves you.  And he will snap out of this... if he doesn't, then I give you permission to badger him until he does," I added, trying to get her to lighten up a little bit about it all.

I looked at Pansy and sighed.  "I told Juniper to leave," I said to her simply.  "And I think she took it the worst possible way..."  I was emitting enough of what the problem was on purpose.

I sighed and shook my head.  "Draco!  What on earth did you o that for?" I asked, whispering just so the twins would not wake up.

"Because... she... she caught me doing something I never thought I would be doing," I said to her evasively.

I laughed without meaning to at his last comment but quickly stopped myself. Draco had given me permission to snap him out of it if he started to turn into Father and I feared we were getting dangerously close. If anything, I had to go back and stay with them to make sure he didn't do anything he might regret. I sighed and looked down, "I know he would risk his life for me." I said softly, "and I would risk my life for him." I looked up into Lincoln's eyes, a few tears escaped down my cheeks. "He's been drinking for a year and a half, he hasn't snapped out of it yet. What if he never does?" I asked desperately.

I glared over at Draco.  "And what was that Draco?  What on earth were you doing on what is supposed to be one of hte happiest days of our lives?" I asked in a heated whisper.  What else could ruin the birthday of our babies?

I put a hand on her shoulder.  "I don't think we have to worry about that," I said to her simply.  "He'll snap out of it... he's got all of us to make sure he does," I added.

Her heated voice startled me slightly.  "June caught me having a drink," I said to her slowly.  I did not want to deal with Pansy freaking out on me, either.  But I knew that if I led into it slowly, I might be able to avoid that.

I nodded and wiped the tears that fell away. "I hadn't realized anything was wrong with me until you confronted me." I replied slowly. I wasn't sure if that was true or if I had just been lying to myself until Lincoln had called me out on my bluff that I was okay. That didn't matter now though, Draco needed my help and he didn't want me. "But how can make sure that he snaps out of it and is okay if he doesn't want me anymore?"

I furrowed my brow.  If he was having a drink, then why was it this big deal?  Then it hit me... how often had I caught him drinking something?  Was there actually a problem?  "Draco... what's going on? You better tell me the truth," I warned darkly.

I put my hands on her shoulders.  "June... it's not that," I said to her softly.  "He still wants you -- that's why he sent me to stop you from doing something drastic.  He's just having his freak out moment like you did when I confronted you."