I got a picture of you, I carry in my heart -- 15 December 1998

"But it is up to me." I countered. "Right now, we're really all each other has in the way of family. Well, I guess it's more he's all I have. He has Pansy, Ian and Keegan now." I took a shaky breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. I shook my head slowly. "Father was right, I don't deserve a brother like Draco. I don't deserve someone who can figure out what's wrong with me and get me help when he was going through his own hell." I lowered my head so my forehead was against my knees again. "And I couldn't even return the favour."

I sighed, biting my lip slightly to keep myself from rolling my eyes at him.  "You don't always need to be the one in charge, Draco.  You don't need to always protect us... we're all a family.  Family is allowed to lean on each other," I pointed out to him.  That was something Draco and Juniper never really had,t hough.  So I knew it was a hard concept for either one of them to fathom.

"What am I? chopped liver?" I teased, trying to get a smile on June's face.  No, it was not like I was a part of the family, but I felt like I was.  "June... I don't think you realize everything you've helped your brother with.  You've kept him human," I said to her softly when she spoke of being helpful.  "If he didn't have you while going through the living hell he was going through, he would not be the guy he is.  He would be... horrible."

I knew Pansy meant well, but she clearly did not realize the dynamic.  I looked over at her and saw the expression on her face and I realized she did understand the dynamic and how hard it was for me to relinquish any sort of control at all.  "I'm sorry," I said to her softly.  I knew that it was hardly anything at all, but it was the only thing I could say.

I gave a humourless laugh, only since I was sure that was the reason Lincoln said that, and shook my head. "Of course you're not chopped liver." I assured him. "After everything you did for Draco, Pansy, Ian, Keegan and I....I'm not sure what we would've done without you." I sighed and leaned my head against his shoulder. I shook my head again. "The only thing I've been for Draco is a liability. I should've just let them kill me when I had the chance. It would've saved everyone a lot of trouble."

I reached out my hand for Draco's.  I knew that he was hurting... physically and mentally, but I was there for him.  When he moved his chair closer and took hold of my hand, I knew that everything was going to be okay.  I tried to give him a sad smile.  "Honey, I know," I said to him softly.  "But we have Dorian and Keegan now.  We can keep them safe from your father -- together.  I don't always need you to protect me, even though you think I can't do anything for myself."  I squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him.

I looked at her.  "I know you're capable of many things, Pansy, but standing up to my father is not one I want to you to have to deal with," I said to her gently.  "No one should have to deal with Father - except for me.  I try to make sure June doesn't, either, but it's hard to stop her... especially since she's his daughter."

To hear him speak of his father this way... I knew there was an animosity between them, but nothing quite like this.  I was sure this was the first time Draco ever truly opened up like this... and it was not even like he was stating that much.  I looked at him, wishing I could say something that could help him.  "Well, when I decided that I would go through all of this with you, it meant that I would stand up to whomever I needed to stand up to no matter what," I assured him.  I meant that against his father and You-Know-Who.

I kissed her forehead.  "I don't think that's true," I said to her gently.  "For one, it would've caused a lot of pain for everyone if you had been killed -- especially Draco, in all honesty.  I don't think he knows how to live without his twin.  And, well, now... I don't know if I can live without a certain blonde needing a pick-me-up every now and again... plus the smiles she gives me."

I looked up at Pansy and took a deep breath.  "I realize that," I assured her.  "but that does not mean that I want you to have to stand up to any of them."

I reached over to grab Draco's hand.  "Honey, I don't care," I said to him.  "I'm here for you.  That's all that matters."