It's hard to find the perfect time to say something you know is gonna change everything -- May 1998

"That you're pregnant and I'm going to be there," I told her honestly.  "And there's no way that I'll be raising any kids under the same roof as Father.  What do we want to do about that?"  I knew this all probably seemed fast to Pansy, but it was the way my mind had to work when it came to dealing with my parents.

He was already speaking of him moving out?  With me?  I bit my lip.  "Well, my parents most likely won't care if I'm there with a baby, but my dad is a little strict about boys... I doubt, even though you're a Malfoy, he'd let you stay there unless we were married or something... he's traditional that way," I said, chuckling slightly.  Of course I wish that could happen, but I needed to choose the timing wisely.

I nodded, understanding completely.  "Then what about a flat?  We could get one... we could raise the baby like a family should," I suggested, wondering if that twould be moving too fast.

I was startled when he suggested that.  Of course that had been sort of my thinking, but I was surprised he was the one to bring it up.  I smiled at him.  "That would be wonderful, Draco," I said happily.  "My parents will help with paying for it and I'm sure yours will too, right?  So we don't have to worry so much about jobs and whatnot after school too badly.  I mean, obviously we don't want to live off of our parents all our lives, but at the beginning it would help take the worry off our shoulders."

I was not sure if my parents would help with the baby being out of wedlock, but we would see.  I nodded at her.  "Yeah, but I'd still get a job and support us," I said, anting to break ties with my father as much as possible.  "But I'm thinking, if possible, a three bedroom flat... that way there's a place for all the toys and whatnot because I'm sure this kid is going to be spoiled rotten."  And I wanted to make sure there was a place to put everything.

I thought it was so sweet that Draco was already saying that our child was going to be spoiled rotten.  I nodded, liking his idea.  "That sounds perfect," I told him.  "We should probably start looking for something now... to be prepared.  I would prefer a wizarding community, though.  I would hate to be in a Muggle flat," I added, shaking my head.  I did not want to raise our child around solely Muggles.

I did have to agree with her on that one.  "We could possibly see if there are any available flats in Diagon Alley?  That way it would be easy to get things we would need since everything is right there," I suggested.

I thought that sounded excellent.  "That's perfect, Draco," I said, smiling at him.  "And we could use the influences that we have if we had to... I know your dad would pull strings for us if we needed him to."  Not that I wanted to rely solely on Mr. Malfoy, but it would be nice.

I really did not want to even go to my father for anything related to this because I would rather him not know where I was escaping to.  I shook my head.  "We'll be able to get it on our own.  I do have my own amount of influence these days," I told her quietly.  It was influence I wish I did not get, but I could attempt to use it to do some good in my life rather than bad.

He was right about that.  I just hoped that his influence did not diminish our chances of getting something.  "Well, either way... it is rather exciting, isn't it?  To be going out on our own like this?" I said to him.  Was it the perfect way to do things?  Not quite... but it did not mean we could not be excited about it.

I could not believe that I was actually going to get out.  I felt guilt gnawing at me, though.  What about Juniper?  It had always been teh two of us?  Could I really leave with her still at home?  I pushed those feelings away for the moment.  I had bigger things to think about.  I smiled at Pansy.  "It really is," I agreed.  "I never would have thought that this would happen..."  And that was the truth.  I had never really pictured myself becoming a father.  And I refused to be one like our own.

It was hard to tell if Draco was getting worried about everything rather than excited.  Clearly he was okay with everything, but I think that weight of what it meant was now pressing down on him.  I smiled at him and said, "Draco, you'll be fine.  Everyone will be happy for you... they may not agree with the order of things, but they'll be happy."

The fact that Pansy said that made me realize how well I was at hiding everything that truly happened in the Malfoy manor.  She thought things would be fine and that my parents would be happy.  Father would probably be livid, Mother would pretend to follow whatever Father said but secretly be excited, and Juniper would be supportive of me no matter what.  I already knew how this would most likely play out... and it was depressing.  I smiled the best I could at Pansy.  "I'm not sure about that," I told her honestly.  "But it doesn't matter what they think anymore, anyways."

I looked at draco and saw some pain in his eyes.  I wished that I knew what was going on... then maybe I could help him.  "Draco, if you opened up to me... maybe there's something I can do," I suggested to him.  I did not want him to think he was alone.  I saw what that did to him last year and I did not like it.

I knew Pansy meant well, but it was so twisted and so dark that I wished that she did not have to be pulled into it.  But now that she was carrying my child... well, there would be no stopping it.  Although I could postpone it for as long as I could. I squeezed her hand.  "Not to worry Pansy," I told her.  "Everything will be fine.  I can assure you of that."  I did crazy things for love... and not that I loved Pansy really, but I would be in love with our child.  And I would not let anything happen.