Deep into that darkness peering, I long stood there... wondering, fearing, doubting -- Early Winter 1997

The fact that he was making himself more presentable made me feel a bit better but I still didn't believe him. "Your not fine, you need to eat something, you need to sleep." I began, "We can't do this if you're not one hundred percent, it won't work." I sighed, knowing I probably wasn't getting through to him. "At least promise me you'll eat something at dinner. Something substantial."

I doubted I looked all that great.  My hair was probably a mess from running my hand through it so much; I knew my face needed shaving.  If Father saw me with this much stubble he would have a fit.  I had not been planning on going to supper; I always felt like an outcast and that seemed to draw attention to myself.  Not even Crabbe and Goyle sat with me anymore unless I made them.  And I really preferred to be alone.  Pansy always tried shoving food down my throat and I had snapped at her so many times that she had given up that, too.  I knew Blaise was always there for me, but I separated myself from even him because I did not want to drag him down with me too.  he had gotten out.  I shook my head as we walked towards the Room of Requirement.  I did not have Crabbe or Goyle with me to be a lookout, but most students would not be meandering the halls right now anyways.  "I wasn't planning on going to dinner," I said quietly.  "I was going to stay in here and attempt to work on the cabinet."

If he wasn't going to eat, then neither was I. "Okay then, let's do that." I knew why he didn't like going to the Great Hall, he wanted to be alone and even though he seemed to eat alone most of the time, when he did eat, it drew unwanted attention to him. I would've eaten with him if it would've helped but we hadn't eaten together in a while, I figured it would ruin his reputations so I had taken to eating alone. All his friends seemed to have gone too, Crabbe, Goyle, even Blaise wasn't around much. I wanted to ask what happened bust Draco had so much other stuff on his mind I didn't want to bother him.

I stopped walking and looked at her.  "I know what you're doing," I pointed out.  She was going to guilt me into going to eat to make sure that she did not torment herself the way I was doing.  It was not going to work.  "You can't be seen helping me that much, June.  It'll get back to him and I don't mean Father."  An involuntary shudder went through my body.  "I don't want either one of us to deal with that wrath."

I knew he would figure out my plan but I could still hope that it would work. "I just want to look at the thing." I didn't need to remind him about the countless time I had just offered to help him. I sighed. "He won't figure it out." I said softly. I knew Fathers wrath, I was use to it. This would be new territory for both of us and I didn't want either of us to figure out what was behind that storm. I still needed to help him though. "I don't want you doing this on your own."

I nodded slowly.  She could take a look, maybe give a few ideas, but that was it.  I felt myself start shaking slightly again -- it was hard to tell if it was due to lack of food and energy or due to the fear of just thinking of what the Dark Lord would do to me or Juniper if he found this out.  "You'll look at it and then I'm taking you to the Great Hall to eat."  I was not going to let her go down with me -- even if I made her empty promises to her face.  I would not let this be one of those times where we were in this together.

I saw him shaking slightly and knew it was worse then I thought. "Okay, we go to the Great Hall after and we'll both eat." I had to make sure he got something to eat at least. I took his hands in mine and smiled up at him "We in this together right?" I knew he was scared about what might happen to us but we would get though this. It may be more difficult then before but I knew we could get through this. Somehow.

I only nodded.  I could not say it aloud to her for it would be a lie.  How I wanted her to be in this with me, but I would not let her be any more involved than she was.  I made sure no one was around and we entered the Room of Requirement.  I led the way back towards where the Vanishing Cabinet was.  I took the sheet off of it and showed it to her.  "It's the same one the Weasleys ruined sending Montague who knows where when we were only in our first or second year," I said, somehow remembering that useless piece of information.

When Draco did agree out loud, I knew something was up. I would make sure we were in this together. I wasn't letting him do this on his own. We walked in to the room and up to the object of the hour. I nodded, remembering that weird piece of information as well. I walked around the cabinet once to take it all in. "And you tried a bird that died?" I hated to bring that up but I wanted to be sure of all the facts.

"Yes," I said quietly.  "I started with an apple... when it was whole, I moved to something living... apparently not the wisest of choices."  It had been the logical next step in my mind.  The way I was attempting to fix it was too complicated to really explain.  It was just different things I had looked up in the library and just things I pretty much pulled from thin air.

"It makes sense to me but why didn't it work....." I tilted my head to the side, trying to figure it out. "Where is the other cabinet located? Maybe that's the faulty one." I suggested.

I shook my head.  "It's at Borgin and Burke's," I told her.  "Borgin has made sure that one is in working order... Aunt Bellatrix, Father, and Greyback all are making sure he keeps true to his end of the deal.  And who would want to cross them?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Who indeed." I went to the back of the cabinet. "Have you tried any spells or curses? May it needs to be activated or something." I didn't really know what I was talking about but I hoped something I said would trigger something.

"I have a few books in my bag in the dorm about different things," I told her.  "You can look through them to see if there's anything that I may have missed."  I leaned against a pile of junk behind me and ran a hand through my hair.  "I'm just stumped."

"Me too." I admitted. "I'll take a look at the books tonight. Like you said, maybe fresh eyes will help." I went back around to where he was leaning against some junk. "We'll figure it out." I assured him.