The moment the world blows you backwards and the one you expect to catch you isn't there.

Well, I had gotten dressed into my dress robes. The school was having a funeral service for Olivia. I can't believe I am going to her funeral. I looked at myself in the mirror, I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for her. I had to have a bit of colour on her funeral. She didn't want people to mourn her, she wanted people to celebrate her life. A time to look back on memories. I finished getting ready in the dorms as I waited for whoever was coming down with me. My group knew when I was going down. I figured Lucy would come as would Ayden. I paced a little letting the tears fall from my eyes, " What am I supposed to do Liv...." I said I still had the ring in my pocket. " That night... I was going to propose to you....instead you were taken away from me." I said looking out the window, leaning.

I had told Ayden to just meet me down at the service.  I was going to stay as close to Will as I needed to be today.  He needed me.  I saw him looking out the window and I took a deep breath.  I was going to be strong for him, even though I felt the tears welling in my eyes already.  I walked up to him and slipped my hand into his like we used to whenever Mum and Dad made him walk me down by the lake.  I squeezed it to let him know it was me.  I didn't know what to even say to him right now.  It was all so horrible.  I figured the best thing for me to do was to just be there for him and he would know how I felt.

I felt someones hand in mine I squeezed it. I felt so broken. Not knowing what to do. The one who would calm me dpwn no mater my mood is gone. I turned to my sister with a small smile trying to ignore the pain I was feeling. " Can't believe she's gone.." I said as I wiped my eyes. I pulled out the ring in my pocket. " I suppose I should sell this..." I said as I wiped my eyes. I wanted those death eaters to feel my pain. I was glad my family was with me. I pulled my sister in a hug. " I don't know what to do."

I hugged my brother. "don't do anything rash right now... Just wait, okay?" I said softly. I wish I could help him more than I could. He didn't need to know what to do. I don't think anyone would. "you don't need to face any of this alone. Just remember that you've got me... I can help you take it just one day -one minute - at a time." There was no reason for him to think he was alone but I was sure that he would.

I gave what I could of a smile, " thanks Lucy...I'm sorry I snagged you away from ayden." I told her. It was a hard time and I wanted her to be okay and I knew that ayden helped her a lot. " I mean thank you." I said to her as I know what I was going to hear how wonderful she was and how sorry people were for me. When it was me who should have done more. " Lucy....why couldn't I have been able to save her....." I asked my sister. It was the big question. I knew I shouldve protected Her a hell of a lot better than I had. I could just see it happening." she didn't fear them" I told her as I leaned on the window sill. She was brave to the very end. " she had it til the end..."

I put my hand on Will's shoulder.  "Don't apologize," I said, if he did it would make me feel worse than I already did.  He was my brother; Ayden was my boyfriend.  I could spend plenty of time wiht Ayden later... right now, Will needed me.  "Will... you two were surrounded... they had means beyond what we even knew of... you did everything you could," I replied, though I was sure he wouldn't believe me.  I wasn't even there until the end.  But they were surrounded... we saw them right before they left.  And with what Will said, there was no way they even stood a chance.

I had gotten ready knowing it was Olivia's funeral. She had always liked getting colourful, I put on my red dress with my black cardigan. Putting my hair back, I can't believe she was gone. Especially the way she was taken. Death eaters, I could not imagine losing George. Walking down the stairs, I could barely recognize Will.

I nodded to Lucy, " I'm sorry for your loss lucy...." I said to her, they had been dorm mates and here I was acting as though I was the only one who truly lost her. " I'm being ridiculous....I just hope I can make it through..." I said as I hoped I wouldn't have to excuse myself or anything. " I'm having nightmares..." I told her. " I don't know how harry deals with it..." I said to her as I squeezed her hand. I heard someone walking down the stairs to see Elena, " Hey.." I said quietly. " Glad you're coming..." I said as she too was dorm mates with her. I need to remember I am not the only one here who cared about her.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down.  I looked over to see Elena coming down and was as glad as I could be to see that she, too, was wearing some color.  That was so Olivia... she loved having color in everything.  Even though I was in a simple black dress, I had on a bright pink cardigan with matching accessories.  A couple of things that Liv had even given me.  I thought that it would be appropriate.  I wished that I could be of more help to my brother... have something to say that would take away all of his pain.  "You're strong, Will... just remember that through everything," I said, knowing that I was not going to say that it would get better.  That he would stop feeling like this... those were things that no one wanted to hear.

I gave what I could of a smile, " Thanks lu..." I said as I took a deep breath. Today all I was going to hear was tons of variations of 'sorry man', I didn't know why she had to be taken away from us. I had put my free hand in my pocket as I fumbled with what I was going to say. " At least I have family to help me." I said that, and surprised myself, I didn't sound like me. I felt hollow.

I put on a black suit with a bright colored skinny tie.  I figured that this would be how anyone who seriously knew Olivia would dress -- being a little somber with a splash of color.  I mean, she wanted people to celebrate her not necessarily mourn her.  but who knew it would be at our age?  I walked down the stairs and saw our sisters with Will.  I could hardly recognize him... and his voice was nothing like his own.  "Of course you have your family," I said, catching the last bit of what he said.  I put my hands on his shoudlers and squeezed since I was coming up behind him.  This was horrible... I wished there was more i could do to help Will, but the only I could do was be here for him.

I gave a short smile to Dean, " Thanks.." I said as I knew this was going to be a very hard day to go through. I know she has passed on, I just don't want to say good bye. " I know she's gone....but...how?" I asked hoping one of them knew what I was talking about.

I put a hand on his shoulder.  I had no idea how to answer that for  Will.  I had never experienced a loss like this.  How could I give him any help with something like that?  I shook my head.  "I wish I had an answer for you, mate," I told him honestly.  I knew that was not what he wanted ot hear, but it was better than lying to him.

I turned to him, " Thanks mate... " I said as I looked around. " We should get down there if we are going together?" I suggested. Knowing I was not sure of how I will react to rreally saying goodbye to her.

"We'll be by your side the whole time," I assured my brother, glad that I had Elena and Dean with me.  I was not going to be able to handle this alone.