The happiest I've ever felt was that moment I discovered you loved me -- TBD, 7th year

I was getting so tired of hearing all the lame lower class bickering over stupid things.  What made it worse was the fact that I ha just had a row with Rory, too.  I was so angry an when I got this way, it was best for me to either take it out on someone or just being by myself.  I stormed outside onto the grounds and conjured an umbrella since it was pouring down rain.  I heard someone yelling my name behind me and I just did not listen.  I cared not.  I was so disgusted.

"Mina!" I shouted.  I had no idea where she was coming from.  It was not close to her time of hte month -- and I meant wiht her lycanthropy.  That was when she was normally more temperamental, but she was so not acting the way I thought she would.  Yeah, we had messed around before.  And yeah, I did have real feelings for her.  But she never gave me second thought, so I went and got myself a different girlfriend.  Granted, she was a Hufflepuff, but still.  it was so much easier than dealing with Wilhelmina.  But apparently I was not even able to do that or something... because all I did was start talking to Mina and she flipped out on me.  It was raining on the grounds, but Mina still stalked away from me, seamlessly conjuring an umbrella.  I did not even care to do that.  I wanted to make this right.

I chased after her, getting soaked through rather quickly, my shoes splashing water around me.  "Mina!  Would you just stop?" I shouted at her, knowing she could hear me.  she could always hear everything.

I stopped and spun around, making Rory nearly run into me.  "What do you want me to say,Rory?  That I'm happy for you?  That I wish you the best?" I snapped at him.  He had to know that I was furious about his little girlfriend.... she was not even his type.  She was not dangerous... she was just a plain Jane type of girl.  I scoffed at how dense he was being.  "I can't even look at you right now.  So just get away from me."

This was the closest Mina had ever gotten to admitting she had feelings - real feelings - toward me or anyone.  Yeah, her and Ian messed around, but that was all just fun and games.  I held onto her shoulders, not letting her walk away from me or shove me away from her.

"I don't want you to say anything, Mina," I said to her, dropping my hands from her.  I was sure that she would walk away from me, but she did not.  "I just don't want us to be miserable."  That was the closest I could be to admitting that I wished I was with her and not Drew.

I stayed under my umbrella and Rory was standing there getting soaked.  I just stared at him.  What was he saying?  "We don't have to be miserable," I replied to him, my voice quiet, but wavering slightly.  I was not a gushy and mushy type of person.  I had been scared a lot lately.

There was a lot of responsibility that was coming down on my shoulders once I Left school.  I was supposed to become a Death Eater and support the Dark Star.  And I wanted to.  It was something I was supposed to do, but I was scared.  What if he knew o fmy doubts and exposed me?  Viola would hate me... Dad would, well, I was not sure what Dad would do.  And now I was realizing how much I fancied Rory because he started dating someone else.  I had no idea what to do.

I saw Rory's hesitation and surprise on his face when I said that, I dropped my umbrella, standing there in the rain.  My hair instantly turning into a stringy wet mess and I did not even care.  I moved half a step closer to him.  "I-If you don't want to be, I mean," I added, unsure if he just wanted to stay mates or if he meant something more.

I was with Marie now.  I could not just stop having feelings towards her because of my overwhelming feelings for Mina... Vinny would kill me if I hurt his sister.  And Wilhelmina still did not know who it was that I was dating.  "I want to," I said to her quietly.  "But I just don't know... I can't."

I could see her vulnerability snap straight back to being pissed off.  She knew it was because I had Marie -- or just some girl to Mina.  I reached for Mina, but then stopped myself, letting my hand drop.  "I'm sorry..."  I wanted to grab Wilhelmina and snog her right there... but I knew better.  I could not do that to Marie.

I stared into Rory's bright blue eyes.  "Rory... don't let me walk away," I said to him.  I went to reach for his hand but let my own drop.  I was not going to do this.  I bit my lip and then turned around away from him.  I had no idea who his new girl was and i did not care.  Rory and I always had something... I just did not realize how much I fancied him until now.  But I would just walk away if he was not going to fight for me... if he really fancied this girl... maybe I could just walk away.

She turned away from me and that was when I snapped.  I took only two strides to be able to grab her shoulders.  I turned her around and held her close, leaning down to kiss her passionately.  I did fancy Mina -- badly.  I still really did like Marie.  But this was Wilhelmina.  She had always been my dream girl.  I was not going to let her just walk away... but I was going to have to.  

I just needed this one last kiss.  She leaned into it, putting her hands in my wet hair.  It was different than any other kiss we shared; there was actually feeling in it, not just lust.  I broke away from her, taking a step back, but still holding her hand.  "Mina..." I said, backing away from her.  "You know I've loved you for awhile now... but I can't be a second choice."  I let her hand go and turned around to get back into the castle and out of the rain.

What the bloody hell was that?  Just when it felt like there was a fire that had ignited within me... he pulled away.  I stared at him.  there was a smell about him... it was an oddly familiar perfume.  I shook my head to clear it; I would deal with recognizing that scent later.  I needed to deal with Rory.

"That's where you're wrong," I snapped at him, my other side coming out a bit in me as I was getting pissed.  "You never were my second choice.  Why the bloody hell do you think I kept coming back to you?  You're a bloody idiot is what you are."  I bent down and picked up the umbrella and held it over my head as I went to walk away.  I had no idea where on the grounds I was going, but at least with the rain all over my face, no one would realize that there were tears mixed in with the rain.  He was a bloody arse and I was done with him.

I looked at Wilhelmina and could not believe what I was hearing.  I wanted to hear her say those things for how long?  I merely shook my head and watched her walk away.  I was with Marie now.  I wanted to follow her, but I could not -- would not -- hurt Marie.  I really did fancy her.  She was lovely and sweet.  And I knew what she wanted, unlike I did with Mina.

I wanted him to follow me, but I heard his footsteps moving the other direction in the puddles that were forming from the rain.  At least the rain hid my tears and the wind covered my cries as I stood there like an idiot.  What had I been thinking?  I felt like I was losing myself and I did not like that at all.  Everything was changing and I could not handle it.