I could stay lost in this moment forever...

I had seen Ron and Lavender kissing, it made me feel broken. They had tried to find a private spot as I happened to be there. I got really mad, sending birds there way to get them to leave me alone. I can't stand seeing her with him. I know it sounds ridiculous, I mean he is my best friend but I can't see him with other girls. I had a fling with McLaggen. That was a mistake, I figured if I agreed he would just be happy with a date and then didn't end up leaving me alone. I endedup getting rid of him. I was thinking just to be myself and let it happen.

When they kissed after the quidditch game it broke my heart. I went to find a secluded area. I just needed to be by myself. I felt tears falling down my cheeks as I got to the stairs and I just found an open window where I sat down just letting myself cry.

I had noticed Hermione leave the party, I wanted to know where she was going to. She made me worry about her sometimes. I know she would be the person we'd turn to if we need help with something. So when she was down I felt like she needed to do something for her. I found her sitting on the stairs, crying. I walked over and sat down beside her. She leaned her head on my shoulder, I put my head on her head. I didn't say anything, she just needed to know I was there for her when she wanted to talk.

I wished this didn't effect me as much as it did. " I want this to not hurt Harry..." I told him as we saw Ron and Lavender turning the other corner. I wanted to know why I couldn't just tell him that I liked him. I didn't see it being a solution to anything. It hurt me, a lot and I didn't want it too. " Do you think he knows?" I asked him. I wanted to know if I was an idiot about Ron.

" Do I think he knows how much this hurts you....no I don't think he knows. Ron can be oblivious at times remember?" I said trying to make her grin. " 'Mione I know he cares for you....he's just being a git about it. It's normal to feel lousy when seeing someone you love be with someone else."

I didn't think I loved Ron, but with the way it's making me feel I could see how someone could see it. " I....guess I do ..." I said to Harry not sure how I want to deal with it. " You know...I didn't think I cared how Ron was with another girl and yet it hurts so much. Harry, ron being oblivious doesn't make sense when he is around us. Does it? Do I really not help that much for him to notice?" I asked. " Everyone around us seems to think I care for him that much....why does he not get it?"

I smiled to her, " He doesn't get because he doesn't see it. He is worried about losing you if that happens 'Mione. You are important to him. He sadly just doesn't see it. Other people see it almost instantly that you both care about each other. " I went on.