Maybe we're lying, then you better not stay -- Spring 2011

I sighed, hanging my head.  I ran my hand through my hair and rubbed my face, then looked at Rosalynn.  "I know," I conceded quietly.  "It's just... everyone has ganged up on me and the fact that I want to go to Mum's over hte summer and, well, I hate being ganged up on like that.  No one is even giving her a chance.  She's been in a bloody coma for most of our lives! She's not trying to take us away, she just wants to have a relationship wiht us!" 

I had not realized that my voice had steadily been rising the entire time I was speaking until I saw Ros's raised eyebrows and expression on her face that definitely read: excuse me?  I smiled apologetically at her.  "Sorry... I know it's not your fault," I said to her."

My eyebrows were raised as Seth's voice raised.  I was incredulous.  Like I did not know what was going on?  I was the one losing out on seeing Mum because I was trying to keep the peace for Dad's sake.  Mum understood that... but it still hurt that I had to settle for just sending her owls or just sneaking around with a lunch date here or there.  I was pretty sure Dad thought I was dating someone.  It was ridiculous.  And then for Seth to act like I was not trying to help? 

When he apologized, I smiled slightly at him.  "Bloody right it's not my fault," I said to him, trying to be a little playful.  "I'm trying to keep the peace... and I'm tired of it, to be honest.  I just want you to try to make an effort... at least with Sid and Mumsy."

I sighed and nodded.  "I know," I said to her.  "I don't meant to have alienate anybody... but they did the same bloody thing to me.  How else was I supposed to defend myself, Ros?"  I knew that she did not have the answers and I knew that she did not want to hear it anymore.

I put a hand on his arm, trying to be patient.  "I understand all that, Seth," I assured him.  It was not fair what everyone was doing to my twin brother.  "But someone needs to be the bigger person..."

"And the child has to be?  Why can't it be the bloody adults?!  I mean there's Nan, Dad, our uncles... everyone hates Mum!  I don't understand any of it... so why on earth should I be the bigger person?" I asked loudly, getting angry again.  Of course it was not my sister's fault, but she could handle my anger.

My patience was really wearing thin with my brother, but I tried to let it slide.  "Well," I started out, "maybe if you stopped blowing up at the people trying to help you, then the rest of the family would be chill."  I said it nicely, but I had a major point.

I groaned and ran a hand through my hair.  "I'm sorry," I said to her again.  "I'm just so bloody frustrated... and I know that I can blow off steam to you and you'll understand.  I know it might make you bugger off, but you'll always come back."

I raised an eyebrow at him.  He really thought I would just continue to put up with his shit?  Of course I would; I was his twin sister after all.  I took a deep breath and shook my head.  "You are right; I'll always come back," I assured him.  "But maybe don't push everyone away, either... because we might not come back as quickly as you'd like us to."

Of course my sister was right about that.  I sighed, calming down again.  "I don't know how to make anyone else understand," I said to her honestly and quietly.  "i mean... they all already have their minds made up -- nothing I say gets through to anyone."