I think that she could be the better half of me -- Late Summer/Fall 1998

After everything that has happened, I knew that no one would believe me that I still loved Juniper and wanted to spend my life with her.  We had an odd relationship at best, but she really was the only one for me.  I would speak to Draco about asking for her hand -- he was the only one she cared for and I knew how much it would mean to her if I asked for his blessing before proposing.  I got to Draco while the girls were out.  I knocked on the door and knew he expected me, but I still thought it odd to just walk in.

I opened up the door to our flat and saw that Lincoln had arrived.  I was not entirely sure what he wanted.  We never were alone together.  Ever.  I waved him to come in and I moved aside so he could do so.  "So what do you want, Matthews?" I asked him as nicely as I could.

I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes at Draco.  "Well, why don't we cut the crap and get down to the reason why you can't stand me," I said simply.  Then we could move onto the real reason why I was there with him.

I was startled by the way he was speaking to me.  "You gave my sister the thing that nearly destroyed her," I said to him simply.  That was just hte start of it, really.

I resisted from hanging my head.  He had a point there, but how was I supposed to know what Juniper would end up doing with it?  I had not realized that it was that addictive.  I sighed.  "Draco, no one knew how she would react to that," I said quietly, though I wished that I had.  At least I was able to help her get away from being addicted to it.

I glared at him.  "She could have been lost forever -- which could mean worse than death," I said to him icily.  How could I forgive him for doing that to her?  "You don't just give people different things without knowing what they do.  That's stupidity... and I thought you were a Ravenclaw."

"It didn't work that way on me!" I said, giving into my frustration and anger.  I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.  "I agree with you, though.  I had been daft... but that's in the past.  I helped her through it as did you -- despite other things going on at the time."  I really did not want to argue with him.  I wanted to see if he would let me ask his sister's hadn in marriage.

I sighed and figured that I should give him a chance to explain.  "Go on," I said to him.  "What do you want?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to make sure that I kept my voice level.  "I would like to ask for you permission," I started out, "for her hand in marriage..."

My mouth fell open as I stared at Matthews.  "Excuse me?" I finally said, incredulous.  What on earth was he thinkingg?

"I love your sister," I said to hi honestly.  "I wouldn't be here to talk to you if I wasn't for real about this."  I hoped that I was making myself a decent case with dRaco.  I knew this would be a hard sell.

I stared at Matthews with a mix of distrust, disliking, and disbelief.  What made him think that I would condone this?  But the way he looked when he spoke of it, broke through all of my misgivings.  "But you can't," I said, knowing that Juniper would not want this for Lincoln.  She may want happiness, yes, but she would not want to have Matthews get invovled in our family.  I would try my best for her, even though I thought she deserved her own happy ending.

I looked at him in disbelief.  "What do you mean?  I can't?" I asked,  knowing that Draco had issues with me.  I wondered if it had to do with just me or the fact that there was something else going on.  of course I had my suspicions about what happened at the Malfoy household in addition to things that Juniper was able to tell me.  But that was why I wanted her to know how much I loved her and why I wanted to be with her.  Somehow... somehow we completed each other in an odd way wiht what we went through.

"You can't be with her," I said to him simply.  I wanted the best for Juniper, but she thought that pushing Lincoln away was the best for her.  I had to respect her wishes.  "I don't want you to stay involved with my sister.  She wouldn't want that... you're already too involved."

I raised my eyebrows.  "But doesn't Juniper deserve to be happy?" I inquired, really wishing that he would just understand where I was coming from.  "You all make her believe that she doesn't deserve what she really does... and I know that I only know the half of it, but I'm being serious."