After all your tears have turned to rage -- 1987

I had given Lily so many chances to let us be a family and yet she still refused.  I loved her and did not want to hurt her, but something had to be done.  The twins had started to show some magical capabilities and that was where my plan had started to form.  I would take Evan -- mainly because he looked so much like James, except for his eyes and hair, to keep as little remnant of her husband from her as possible.  Faith looked more like her mother, so I really wanted her... but this was to punish Lily, not to have me raise the daughter who looked like the woman I loved.  I had trays of food for two of them, I would have Evan eat with me if all went well.  I knew there would be a fight, though.  I was prepared for it.  I even expected the twins to get so worked up that they would lash out with their uncontrolled magic.  But, like I said, I was prepared.  Perhaps it would lead to me not having to modify Evan's memory too much as I needed him to trust me and to believe that Lily and Faith were gone.  It would be the only way for him to truly trust me in time.

It had been about four years since the twins were born. Peter had not allowed me any medicinal herbs or anything to make sure I had survived. I had only hoped James heard me screaming. I just hoped it wasn't to late. I looked to the back of our room to find the twins playing. I smiled, walking over to them. " How are you today ?" I asked the two of them. I swear when Peter comes in here again I will kill him. Could I really do that though. He has made sure that I haven't had enough food. Barely enough for one of us let alone three. I pulled my hair back as I knew Peter would be coming soon. " Why don't you guys go play over there?" I suggested the farthest place away from the door. I had to prepare to fight for them.

They need to know I am not going to give up fighting for them. No matter if it kills me. If the two of them get away from Peter I will have done my job right. I walked to the corner that hid me perfectly. Knowing he would listen for the kids playing. I would wait in the darkness of the damp room we were held in. I looked briefly to the kids as I was letting my mind wander. Faith looked so much like me, except her eyes. She had James' eyes. The little fiery temper I had when I was younger. To much contested of James would say I still have it. Smiling as I looked at them sharing what little we had at this time. Thanks to the man who apparently confessed his love to me. Saying how we could be a family. He was at our wedding for crying out loud. He was one of my husband's groomsmen. How can he even consider the fact of me leaving James for him.

He has been there for me no matter what the circumstance. He is the one my soul will always love. Peter is not going to take him away from me no matter what. I would let them know of both Harry and their father James Potter. I turned towards the door ready to protect my children as I started to pace. The adrenaline giving me the ability to move like this. He really has made sure we do not have enough nutrition. I heard their little stomach's growl with hunger. It hurt me to know they relied on getting food from Peter. This is what he wanted. To be needed, I would not concede. Never would I give in to Peter Pettigrew. I am and will always be with James Potter. I closed my eyes briefly while waiting just behind the door now. Just to picture some of the happier times. I knew what I would have to do. It would be to somehow take down Peter to give me and the kids a chance to get away from him and find their father. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes while I waited for the rat to show himself. " Come on..." I muttered.

I prepared myself for an uproar from Lily -- it seemed like she tried something at least once a day.  It really was a waste of her energy, but I honestly did not care at this point.  She had hurt me.  She and James were constantly hurting me during this.  I was trying to have a relationship with both of them -- on my terms for a change -- but neither one of them would hear of it.  I would show them.  Lily was much easier to punish since she had the children... James, though, was in complete solitude.  And that was punishment enough for a social butterfly like Prongs.  I unlocked the door with a wave of my wand.  "Stand back... or else," I warned before I opened it.

I really was not entirely sure what was going on, but I listened to Mum and moved to where she told me and Faith to go.  I held my sister's hand, realizing that the air around us changed somehow and that Mum was really tense.  I stayed quiet, not wanting to get in trouble or draw attention to us.

I almost snorted, or else. His threats became less and less threatening. More and more I loved the idea of killing him. Letting us get James and get the hell out of here and letting us be a family. He warned and I waited with the rock above my head. I was going to damage him finally, I hid in the darkness behind the door so he wouldn't see me coming as he opened it I waited for him to step inside before I would make the attempt. Seeing his shadow then his form appearing I went for it. Bringing the rock down as hard as I was able to muster.

"Argh!" I said, dropping their food when Lily came at me.  I waved my wand and slammed her up against the side of the wall as I kicked the door shut o no one could get out.  I felt a little trickle of blood coming down from my eyebrow.  "You will definitely be paying for that one, Lily... I'm done with this!" I shouted at her, heading towards the children.

I backed against the wall, pulling Faith with me.  I knew Mum hated him and I did not want him to come near me or Faith.  I felt a familiar feeling coming from inside me -- like from my gut.  It was the same feeling from when I did magic for the first time a couple of days ago.  Mum and Faith were so happy that I did it.  I did not want Peter to come any closer and was afraid that he was hurting Mummy.

I got him, grinning at the sight of his blood getting thrown back into the wall. " UGH!" I felt myself hit the wall hard as I shook my head briefly looking as Peter made his way toward Evan and Faith. " PETER DON'T TOUCH THEM!" I shouted. I urged myself to get free, I had to protect them. They needed me. I felt the tears welling in my eyes. " DON'T TOUCH THEM!" I screamed.

I didn't really know what was happening, but mum seemed really tense. I didn't like it when she was like that. I let Evan take my hand and led me to where mum told us to play. Peter came in then, and I was even more scared. None of us liked him. Mum hit him in the head with a rock and I thought we would be okay but then he got his wand out. I squeezed my brother's hand as he pulled me up against the wall. We couldn't move anymore. I started shaking slightly but when the man pushed mum against the wall with magic, started towards us, and mum screamed, I couldn't help cry "Mommy!" I realized my mistake a moment too late when he turned to me. I took my hand back from Evan. I didn't want to draw any attention to him so I ran up to Peter and hit him in the leg a few times. "Let her go, you're hurting her!" I felt something happening inside me, like a force that wanted it come out. I recognized the feeling as magic, just like when I did my first bit of magic the other day and made mum and Evan so proud of me. It wasn't as strong though, but if this kept up, I was sure between Evan and I, something would happen. We were both developing magic but had no way to control it, so it was only a guess as to what we would do.

<<let me know if I should change anything but I figured Faith running up to Peter may entice Evan to use magic even more but I can switch it if you want....just let me know. >>

<< That works for me  >>

I did not like the fact that Faith ran towards him -- Mum would not have wanted that!  I felt the stirrings getting stronger.  "Faith!  Mum..." I said, getting a little afraid of what was going on.  I looked up at my mum who was still shouting and then towards Faith and Peter.  It looked like he was going to hit her.  "Leave her alone!" I yelled, going towards them, hoping that I would not lose control.  Mum said that it could possibly end badly if we ever did.

The kids were screaming as I was, Evan was getting an aura about him. " LEAVE THEM ALONE PETER!! YOUR PROBLEM IS ME!" I shouted, he was coming closer and you could almost feel power pulsating around him. "Faith MOVE Out OF HIS WAY!" I shouted to our little girl. If Evan is having a magical experience the only ones I want in the way are me and Peter.

I felt tears come to my eyes because I was scared.  I was so mad I was shaking and yet I was so scared because I did not want to hurt anyone.  I put my hands over my ears and gripping my shaggy hair slightly.  "Everyone... please, stop!" I said, clenching my eyes shut and trying not to have an outburst.

" EVAN...Evan honey listen to me...remember deep breathing. Counting to ten." I told him. He had a larger amount of magic when he wanted too. I was looking towards my son as he stood crying it was because of Peter. I was going to end him, thankfully the kids seemed to be working as I could move a bit on the wall. I still felt like an ornament though.

"You had gotten a choice, Lily," I told her, pushing Faith to the side.  She was not the one I wanted.  "Now you have to live with the consequences of that decision.." I would take Evan.  And if he hurt them in the process, maybe they should have listened better.

I fell to the ground when Peter push to me to the side, I didn't have the best balance. I looked back when I heard Evan scream and saw he looked scared. I had to help him calm down. He was my twin and there was no telling what would happen if either of us lost control. I got up and ran to him, taking his hands from his head and holding them in mine. "Listen to mum Evan, deep breaths." I needed to calm down a bit myself so I started taking a few deep breaths of my own. "Count to ten with me Evan." I began counting slowly. "One...two...three...four....five..." I took a deep breath in between each number and hoped that Evan was doing the same and would continue the count.