It was killing me to see the strongest man I knew, wasting away to nothing -- Late Summer 2018

I looked over at her and knew that she could see that the battle within was not going as well as we would hope.  I smiled the best I could in a reassuring manner and stood up.  I hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead.  "I love you with all my heart, sweetie," I whispered to her, trying to keep from choking up.  I knew how far gone I really was and I wanted to try to keep it from everyone the best that I could.

I nodded and went to turn away so I could leave, but he held onto my hand.  I looked at him.  "What is it, Daddy?" I asked, it was like he wanted to tell me something.  There was no way I would leave if Dad was still with me.  I just knew that he was struggling - I could see it in his eyes.

"Do you remember when you were little?  Your first date?" I asked her, a smile coming to my lips.  It was a sad smile, though.  I wanted to have one more night wiht just my little girl.  I hated to think that it was going to be our last date, but i ihad a feeling that would be exactly what it was.

I felt fresh tears come to my eyes and I nodded.  "Of course I do, Daddy," I said.  And even if I did not remember it completely, Mum and Grandpa John had taken so many pictures of us together.  It was amazing.

"Well... I'd like to have another little moment like that before anything happens..." I trailed off, not wanting to think about me leaving my children without having either one of their parents.  I just knew that I would not be able to control Boris for that much longer without having dire consequences.  My mind was no longer that strong...

I hugged him tightly again, nodding against his shoulder.  "Of course, Daddy... I would love to have a date with you.  You didn't even have to ask," I said to him, my smile watery.

She had no idea how much I needed to hear that and how good it made me feel; it even calmed the wolf -- Boris.  It refused to be called Boris by me anymore... it was almost as if it was trying a power play or something.  I kissed Lucy's forehead.  "Thank you, sweetheart," I said to her.  "I will send you details... I'm not sure if I can stay being who I'm expected to be here much longer."  I knew that pained them... and I hated when they saw me slipping and becoming the type of monster Greyback had been.

I nodded at my dad.  I leaned forward and gave my dad another kiss.  "I'll let you get some rest," I said, though it was not rest he needed.  I just could see that he was having a hard time.  I could see Boris right beneath the surface.

"I love you, sweetie," I said, kissing her cheek.  "Be careful on your way home."  I watched her leave, wondering if I could hold on much longer... I wanted to have time with everyone... I just was not sure if I could do this.

I left my dad and realized how much it broke my heart to do so.  I ended up back at home and upstairs.  I sat on my bed and started to cry.  I had no idea if Ayden was home yet, but I just needed to give myself a moment.  I tried to hold it together hwen I was with Daddy... but soemtiems I couldn't.