You and Me Against the World -- Late Summer 1965

I was just coming home from St. Mungo's.  They had kept me there due to having the means to help me -- well, more or elss to detain me while i changed so I would not hurt anyone.  I had been so scared.  I was in the hospital for the entire month.  Only Dad had been there to visit me; I had no idea what was going on with Mum.  I remembered what she had said, but Dad said she was still home.  So why had she not come to see me?  The healers had to patch me up after I turned; the change hurt my healing wound and my small body.  This curse really was not made for someone my age they said.  The beast within did not do my childlike body any good.  I was in the hospital room packing up some of th ethings my father had brought for me while waiting to be piced up.  I wondered what was taing Dad so long to come get me.

I walked into the hospital and ran a hand through my hair.  How on earth was I going to explain this to my son?  Romy left once she new for sure what he was.  He already wondered why she never came to visit.  Now how was I going to tellhim his mother left?  I walekd into Remus's room and saw how gingerly he moved.  After talking with the healers, I knew he would need some sort of medical attention after he changed every month until his body got used to it.  I had made a special area for Remus when he would change at home in the basement.  I smiled the best I could when I saw my son look at me.  "Ready to come home?" I questioned.

I grinned at my father.  "Very much so," I told him.  But I saw something in his eyes and my smile faltered.  "What's wrong?" I ased him.  I sat down on the bed and held my side slightly.  It still burned a little bit and I was extremely achy... I was really worried as to why my dad was acting the way he was, though.  I feared it had something to do with my illness.

I sighed and sat down next to my son.  I put a hand on my boy's knee.  "Remus... your mother left," I said, figuring there ewas no point in holding it back or trying to dance around the topic.  I hated breaking this news to him.  He was already feeling miserable... but there was no way of protecting him from this.

I just stared at my dad.  Mum abandoned me?  She just left?  Did she really not love me?  I felt tears start to come to my eyes.  "Dad... she left?  It's because of me, isn't it?" I asked.  I knew it was.  I knew what she said... she said I had deserved to die.  That I was a monster.  If she thought that way, why did she stick around in the first place?  I knew my mum and I were not as close as me and dad, but still.  I was her son!  She loved me... didn't she?

I put my arm carefully around his shoulders as I tried to comfort him without hurting him.  I kissed the top of his head.  "Kiddo, your mother is just afraid.  She doesn't like change.  I won't lie to you, though, Remus.  You're too smart to fall for it anyways... your curse is the reason she left.  I doubt that we will ever hear from her again," I told my son honestly.  It broke my heart to see his tears.  It broke my heart that my wife just up and left... I loved her and I could not understand how she could just leave her son.  Leave me if you want to... but I would not stand for her hurting Remus.  "I know that this is hard for you, son.  But I just want you to know one thing:  I will never leave you.  I will stay up with you - even if you're not in your right mind to realize I am there on the other side of the door - during every full moon.   Every time you change, I will be there.  When you become human again, I will have your favorite remedy waiting for you -- hot cocoa during the winter and iced cold lemonade during the summer.  I will make sure that you pull through it every time."  I lifted his chin so he would look at me and see in my eyes that I was telling the truth.  I tried to smile at him.  "It's you and me against the world, now, Remus.  And the hell if I'm going to let the world get you down."

The fact that my dad swore in front of me did bring a small smile to my face.  He never did that.  At least not on purpose.  I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him, ignoring the fact that my wound was screaming at me.  I would have to get used to the pain.  I needed to get accustomed to it.  I would have it every month for the rest of my life.  I pulled away and smiled at my dad.  "Can we just go home, now?" I asked him quietly.  I would of course be mourning for my mother as if she had died... she left me.  but Dad was right; it was me and him against the world.  I really felt like that was the way it always was anywyas... Dad was my protector, mum was more or less the punisher.  I would have chosen Dad over her anyways if they had ever separated, so I was just getting the better deal.

I hugged my boy and could not believe that he was taing this as well as he was.  I stood up and grabbed his bag and his hand and we Apparated to our home.  I set his bag down in the living room and asked him, "Would you like me to get you anything?  I'm not sure how you're feeling... you can do whatever you'd like."  That was the least I could do for him with something like this having happened in the first place.

I looked at my dad feeling worried and concerned.  "I'd like to see where I'll be kept during full moons.  I want to make sure that it's safe enough that I won't hurt you," I told him.  I did not want to talk about mother or anything like that... I just wanted to deal with my issue before going on to do better and more upbeat things.  I needed to be able to just play a game with Dad or something.

I saw that my son had grown up so much within the last month that he hardly looked like a five year old.  I sighed and steered him to where the entrance was.  I was surprised that he took hold of my hand like he was frightened of the area.  I showed him everything and explained what I would do each month to ensure that he could nto get out to harm anyways because that was what he wanted to know.  I would have preferred leaving such details away from a little boy, but Remus always had questions and always wanted to know the most about a situation even at his age.  I knew that he would end up being top of his class.... if he were even allowed to enter school.  "Is there anything else you'd like to know about this room or anything?" I asked my son before getting him upstairs and away from all the negativity.

I had been a little frightened by everything I was seeing, but I needed to see it.  I looked up at my dad and was sure the fear was showing in my eyes.  "Dad... will you protect me no matter what?  I'm so scared of how kids will react... and if I were to ever get out - though it seems nearly impossible - you have to stop me from hurting other people, okay?" I asked him.  I wanted to make sure all risk was gone.  I was an animal and a monster when that thing took over me... there was no reasoning with me.  And that was why I wanted to make sure Dad would do what needed to be done in case the worst happened.

Remus was far to young to be this concerned.  I knelt down so I was eye level with my boy.  I put my hands on his shoulders before answering him as well. "Remus, I will always protect you.  I will be by your side no matter what - even if that means doing the unthinkable.  I will always have your best interests and concerns at heart.  I'm not leaving you, kiddo," I assured him, kissing his forehead.  I hated the fact that Romulus did this to him... I knew that was where most of these concerns were coming from.

I smiled and had to laugh at myself.  WHy was I so worried about my dad?  He was always the one there for me.  I hugged him, wincing at my pain and trying to stop from whining about it.  I needed to get used to it... I would most likely be in constant misery until I was used to all of this.  "Thank you, Dad," I said, indicating teh fact that he reassured me and everything he had done to our home to help protect me.  I could not believe that he had done all of this for me.

I kissed his forehead. "You never need to thank me for doing what I love to do -- be there for you," I said, smiling at him.

I smiled at my dad, never fully appreciating what he did for me until just then.  "Thanks," I said to him, wishing that I could find a way to repay him one day.  Even though he would never accept it, but still.