I'm just trying to keep it together....Tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defence.----- May 28th 1977

So, I had asked to go visit my sister's grave. I hadn't been in a while. I owed it to her to go and visit her. I felt so bad. I needed to visit her and let her know how things were going. Even though she wasn't there, I still felt like I should go to visit her and tell her how I am and how much I miss her. It hurt that for her funeral my parents had zoned me right out. I knew they blamed me, they didn't tell me that. I knew though. They couldn't fool me, and especially now. I don't know if I'll ever tell them when I get married or when they get grand kids. I wanted to see if Remus minded coming with me. I knew my father may be there or they both may be there and I didn't want to chance running into them without anyone else. So I went looking for Remus. " Remus?"

I looked up from the book I was reading. "Yeah, Chlo?" I said, marking my page and looking at her. I noticed that she looked worried. "Is everything okay?"

" I was just wondering if you would come to my sister's grave with me. I haven't been to visit her for a long time. " I told him. I was afraid my parents would be there and I didn't want to get into a fight with them at all. I mean, they blamed me for my sister's death because I couldn't take on fully grown creepy men. " It's just it would mean a lot to me..." I said with a small smile.

"Of course I'll go with you," I said,standing up and going to her. "You didn't need to ask."

I smiled, " I know, visiting my sister has always been an issue." I explained. " I don't get along with my parents at all..." I told him as I hugged him. " Thank you for saying yes."

"Chlo, don't worry about it," I said. "If they're there, I'll make sure nobdy says anything or does anything to hurt you." I kissed her forehead, hugging her back.

I gave a teary eyed smile. " Thanks...although we should go...and thanks again." I said grasping his hand tightly as I pulled my wand out to apparate to the Cemetery. We got there as we walked slowly along the pathway. My parents were at Zoe's stone. I took a deep breat has Remus and I walked up to it. Oh no. They turned to us once they had heard noise. Both teary eyed themselves now watching me with a look of hatred. I grabbed Remus' hand tighter. This is going to be hard. " What the hell are you doing here?" My father asked me. I looked to him. " I'm here to visit Zoe." I said hoping this is not going to escalate. " You shouldn't be here....it's your fault." he said simply. It was said so easily. My mother looked at me with a looks of hatred missed with sorrow. Tighter my hand on Remus' I felt bad but it was the only way I wasn't going to overreact.

I knew that look. My own mother looked at me like that once... before she left. "Look," I said, taking strength in the fact that Chloe needed me and that I really didnt' know them so I didn't care how I treated them since they were so obviously hurting Chloe. "Zoe was her sister. She has every right to be here as you do. And since Chloe is the only daughter you have left, maybe you would like to speak to her more kindly. Because in the end... would you want to go knowing that you missed out on your daugther's amazing life? Probably not. So, please, before any of us do something stupid, just let Chloe be able to visit her sister -- not that she needs your permission," I added, looking at them wiht a look of... sterness and with a no-bullshit-attitude.

I felt my eyes grow large as I watched as Remus put them in their place. Which I loved by the way. They looked to me then to him. My father still had a look of hatred now looking to Remus with anger. This is going to escalate. Last thing I want ...especially here. I loved the fact that he stuck up for me. I absolutely loved it. My mother looked to me, " You are going to allow him to talk to us that way?" she said in disgust. I nodded with a sweet sarcastic smile. " Yes....Yes I am...and I am glad someone finally did..." I said feeling a little better due to Remus being here that I seemed to say what I have wanted to say for a while. My father looked like he was pulling out his wand. " Don't do that....I have a quicker hand time than you. Also...do you really want to lose me too? I did everything I could...I was nine years old...Calling for my parents to help us. I fought fully grown wizards as long as I could. I am sorry that I was unable to completely tear them off of us. I can't help things that happened that night. I was used as well...do you not remember that!" I said loudly realizing I was losing my temper. I took a deep breath, Muttering a quick apology to Remus and to my sister's gravestone that stood in front of us.

We were going to visit here whether they were here or not. I had figured they would be here. She was the treasure child. They didn;t think I felt bad enough about me losing here. My eyes teared up and I was not going to let them fall down my face. " We are here to visit her as much as you are here to visit her. So, if you two don't mind. " I said as I looked to Zoey's gravestone. Apologizing over and over again. This had been the first time in 7 years for me to be visiting her. I felt horrible. I couldn't go there. They wouldn't let me. They didn't even want me at her funeral. Which I didn't really listen too. I held Remus hand as I felt a breakdown coming and I did not want to do it. But I didn't think I had much of a choice. Tears were falling down my face as I heard stomping up from behind us. Oh great.

I squeezed Chloe's hand. "Go talk to her," I said softly. "I'll deal with them. You deserve to have time with your sister." I squeezed it one more time, brought it up to my lips for a soft kiss, and then let go. I turned around and saw that they were surprisingly close. "We all need to behave like adults. And, surprisingly, I seem to be the one who's doing the best at it. So just shut up, turn around, go home. Come back later. I'm sure you visit all the time. This is Chloe's first time... in forever. So just let her talk to Zoe for a little bit and nothing has to happen here in a place where it should be for rememberance of good times, feelings for loved ones, and a place for comfort for the sadness within. NOt family feuds. But if you want a feud, I'll give you fair warning. You dont' want to mess wiht me. I'm a very dangerous young wizard with little self control over a certain part of me.You won't win. And I don't want to unleash that part, but you've woken it up now from being such an asshole," I said flatly adn dangerously. The wolf inside of me almost purred at the thought of it's anger being unleashed through magic. i really wouldn't change into teh wolf, but it was a pretty good threat. It's just that the anger would empower me. I saw that once with James and Sirius... they thought it was so fun and awesome, but it scared me. Here, I'd use it to my advantage.

I nodded to him as I went into talking to Zoey. " Hey Zo....I'm sorry I haven't been here in a while. I know...I just...with the family acting the way it is. You seemed to be the only one who kept it family." I said kneeling to her stone as I wiped off the leaves and the vines that seemed to be growing. " For them to visit you so much you'd think you'd have fresh flowers." I said as I placed some roses around her stone. " I am sorry I couldn't keep them off of you." I said as tears were falling freely down my face as I wiped them off of my face. I was so grateful for Remus coming with me. I heard some commotion behind me, I tried to ignore it. " I know things didn't go the way they should have but i am sorry for that. I wish you could have been here still. " I said looking to her name. " I just didn't think this would be our life....." I said wiping the tears from my face. " I will be coming to visit you more often...I have to tell you about Remus he is awesome. So kind and gentle and I love him to bits. You would love him." I said with a smile.

___

I couldn't believe this young wizard was arguing with us about something he didn't understand. " How dare you talk to us that way. Believe it or not we are her parents and we can decide who comes to visit. She is not someone we want to keep visiting our youngest child. Yes she is our child....but she could have done more..." I told him. Icouldn;t believe I had to explain myself to a person I didn't even know. " What is she doing to her stone?" I snapped angrily.

"OK, look. I have some pretty screwed up family issues too. My mother left me to fend for myself and my father. Families shouldn't dot hat and they shouldn't do this. It's not Chloe's fault that she couldn't do more; it's not that she wouldn't have either, it's that she honestly could not have done anything else. She tried so hard. You probably didn't even hear her side of everytihng, did you?" I asked sadly, thinking I already knew that answer. "You should really try being parents to the only child you have left. What if she gets married and has kids? You wouldn't be a part of their lives... how would that maek you feel? Your daughter is a beautiful woman and you havent' even noticed. She's amazing at school and I bet you didn't know that either." I sighed and shook my head. "You two have no idea how hard ti is for someone who can't even talk to their own mother -- or father. I only know the maternal side, but Chloe knows both. And the sad thing is, is that I think she believes you will change one day." I turned around to see what CHloe was doing to the tombstone, hoping it wasn't anything I couldn't try to keep her paretns away with. I saw the roses she brought. Duh! I almost hit myself with stupidity.



"Those would be the flowers Chloe brought for her sister," I said quietly. I had a feelign that I wouldn't be able to keep any of this at bay for much longer... I wish I could so CHloe would ahve more time... but I feared that just pissed her mother off enough to ignor eme.

I had wanted more time with Zoe but I didn't think I could ask Remus to keep them busy for much longer. I looked to him as he seemed a little stressed I smiled to him. Turning back to her tombstone. " Like I said you would love him to pieces. " I said with a a bit of a laugh and it felt like I hadn't been able to do that in a long time. Looking to her name enscribed there, I felt my heart break all over again. I mean this is expected, but I had seen what my parents wrote on a letter, it broke my heart. I shook my head. Wiping my eyes. " I bet they would have rathered me...." I said sadly I hated thinking that but it felt so true. It felt that my parents would have rathered me be in Zoe's place. I took a deep breath as I stood up. I will have to tell Remus this when we go. He would get to upset like I'm holding in. " I miss you Zo-zo." I said with a smile as I wiped the leaves off my skirt then turning to Remus. " We can go." I told him not looking at my parents at all.

Then I heard it, " You better never come back here...We do not want you to come back here ever again." My father said to me. My fists immediately cleanched my knuckles went white. I gave a bit of a sarcastic laugh. "You think you can stop me coming to visit my little sister? No I don't think so... You have some news for you if you think you can do that....Now, we are going to come back here again WHENEVER we want...I do not care if it is something you don't want. She is my little sister. " I snapped as I stood an inch from them wanting to hit them. But I kept my thoughts to myself. I was about to breakdown completely. I couldn't do this. I sighed, " We will come to visit soon." I told them in hopes they would take the hint of Do not mess with me right now. I took Remus' hand so I didn't hit either of them which would end very badly.

I couldn't believe what I just heard. I squeezed Chloe's hand and let her lead the way.

I was so angry and yet all i wanted to do was collapse and cry. I wanted to, but there was no way i was going to do that in front of them. I used my hand to wipe away tears quickly as I pulled out my wand. As we apparated to the grounds of Hogwarts. There I let myself fall bursting into tears. " he always does something like this....." I sobbed, grabbing some leaves as I crushed them in my hands.