We weren't born to follow....come on and get up off your knees...hold on to what you believe-- December 15 1998

I shrugged. "Where do you think you'll feel safest, Blaise?" I asked. It was he who I was most worried about, considering how easily triggered the rampaging vampire could be. I was also beginning to realize that keeping Blaise's secret tonight, with all the chaos happening, was going to be harder than ever.

I kept watching the carnage behind them, getting more and more worried about my parents.  I looked back at the two of them.  "I came through Hogsmeade... it's a little destroyed, but deserted.  It's close enough so that if necessary, I can rush to the castle or something.  But far enough away it may help Blaise," I told them.

<<Does Madelyn know about Blaise? I can't remember if we thought she would or not.>>

I tilted my head toward Madelyn, unsure of what Iggy had told her about me. I'd asked him to keep this between us, but I also realized that was a huge burden to bear. If he had told her that I was a vampire, she seemed to take it really well. Her genuineness was appreciated.

"Thank you," I said with a half smile. "We can hide in the back room of The Hog's Head."

I smiled at Blaise. "You lead the way," I said.

As we walked back toward the small village, Blaise led us back to the small pub and into the back room. I looked over at Madelyn and asked, "How are you doing?"

<< I don't think she know, but she was just going off of what Iggy said when he mentioned Blaise not doing well with it all being overwhelming.  I can edit if you'd like  >>

I shrugged and said, "I wasn't part of any of the fighting as I'm really not supposed to be here.  I'm just worried... I'm glad I at least found you safe."  I smiled at him and Blaise.  "Are the two of you okay?  You look like you were there in the midst of everything..." I noticed the blood on Blaise's clothes and could only imagine what they had gone through.

<<Don't worry about it. What you wrote still works. >>

I'd almost forgotten about the poor girl who I'd killed barely an hour ago; her blood had dried on my clothing, its scent dissipated. When Madelyn looked at me, I looked down at myself. She had to assume that I'd gotten into a battle with a Death Eater, but the real battle was with the vampire.

"I'm OK," I assured her. "We got a friend of mine safe in the Great Hall and left from there."

I willed Iggy not to say anything further. Eventually, I knew everyone would have to know about me, especially if I decided to officially side with and join the Order. The longer I held my tongue, and the longer Iggy held his, the better it would be for the both of us. I had to believe that.

"Yeah, we're okay now," I seconded. Lifting my wand to Blaise's chest, I added, "Let's get you cleaned up a little" and magicked the bloodstains off his shirt. Hopefully the smell from them hadn't been driving him insane this entire time. If they had been, I was impressed that he wasn't more affected. Maybe he was starting to get this thing down.

"So, Madelyn, what's your plan?"

I was glad to hear that it was not Blaise who had been that injured.  It seemed like he got a good shot in with, presumably, a Death Eater.  They were on our side after all.  I looked at Iggy and shook my head.  "I honestly don't have much of one," I admitted, knowing it had been foolish for me to come here.  "But I knew that there was no way I was going to stay in the States with my parents and you over here with all of this going on.  I know Dad will kill me, but if they're both okay, I don't care.  I at least know my brothers are fine," I said with a smile.  Of course Xander was okay; he was being watched by another Order member and I had found Iggy.  I would look at this as a glass half full scenario and try not to focus on the stress of not knowing where Mom or Dad were.

I had been fighting Bellatrix as we were sending spells back and forth so quickly it could make someone's head spin. I knew I could not give her an inch. Knowing she would end up trying to take more than that. I was not giving her anything as long as I could say anything about it.

Draco, like a brother to me, was still inside the castle. Hearing Madelyn talk about the safety of her family made me feel a small pang of remorse leaving him in there. He was safer there than he would be here, though. I had to tell myself that. As for my real family, my mother and father, I had to wonder if they were at all involved with this situation. I could envision them stalking the grounds together, holding hands and snickering that identical demonic laugh they share. In my mind, I heard it crystal clear. I shuddered.

I ran a hand through my hair and saw Blaise shudder.  I looked at him, a little concerned.  I could only imagine what they both had seen up at the castle... He was probably reliving it all in his head.  There was nothing we could do to help anyone up there, really.  "Do you think that we're going to win... or if You-Know-Who will?" I mused, wondering what he would do to members of the Order.

<<Sorry, couldn't reply to everything last night. I was super tired!>>

"If he wins, I'll tear his bloody throat out," I said, too quickly to register how aggressive it sounded. I looked up at Madelyn and Iggy, immediately unsure of how to follow-up.

Hopefully Madelyn would attribute that violent reaction to Blaise's being in Slytherin. They always did overreact so dramatically, after all. "I think what he means to say is that he'll be just as upset about it as we are if things don't go well for the Order," I summarized with utmost political correctness. I flashed a significant look at Blaise, hoping that the comment had been indeed him speaking and not the vampire.

<<Yay for Iggy's 100th post!>>

<< Haha, no worries  And yay!! >>

I was startled by Blaise's reaction and also by the way Iggy was so quick to be overly polite about the reaction.  I looked from one to the other.  "Okay... what am I missing here?" I questioned.  Should I be focusing on what was goign on around us?  Probably.  But if I continued to think about all of that, I would be so worried about my parents that perhaps this would end up being a good distraction -- even if it's just momentary.

Bloody hell. "Nothing," I said, overcompensating. I was digging my own hole at this point, but I had to try to save myself. "It's just the... Slytherin in me, I guess. But not the type of Slytherin that wants to be a Death Eater."