When I see you cry it makes me want to die -- Summer 2001 (DONE)

I pushed my hair behind my ear.  "Do you know what happened?" I questioned.  Maybe he could help put the pieces together; it seemed like he wanted to help.  I could not think about a life with him right now.  I just needed little baby steps.  I could not even think about being married.

I wondered when she would ask that question.  I ran a hand through my hair.  I did not want to give her more details about the life she did not remember.  "I honestly don't know all the details.  We had gotten home from dinner.  You had wanted to lock the gate."  I had to choose my words carefully.  I did not think she could handle hearing about Sedona.  "I was in the house and I heard something.  I went outside and saw something -- I assume someone -- running away.  I would have gone after them, but I saw you on the ground.  You had a horrible head injury so I couldn't - wouldn't - leave your side." I really wished she would be able to remember.  But I just was not sure how I would be able to get her to believe me.

As little as he knew, at least it heped put the pieces together.  I sighed and looked at him.  "There's something you're not saying," I said.  I was not sure how I knew he was withholding something from me, but I just felt he was.  "The healer told me I could leave as long as I was ready.  I don't know when or if I'll ever be ready to go with you," I said, hating the fact tears were coming to my eyes.  "I don't relaly know what's going on... did you let my parents know?" I had to wipe my eyes.  What on earth was I feeling to make me cry?

I hated how frightened she looked and there was no way I could comfort her.  At least not with her state of mind.  I knew she had to feel something; why else would she know I was withholding something?  "They moved to North America... I did tell them.  They said they'd be here soon.  I told them as soon as it happened and you were stable."  I wanted her to be comfortable with me... I loved her.  She was my one true love.

I could not look him in the eyes; it was too painful.  I just wanted my mum.  "Then... can I... will you let me be by myself until my mum is here?" I asked quietly.  I really was not sure what I was feeling.  I did believe I felt something to make me feel bad for doing this to Dean.  But I did not know what I was truly feeling.

I nodded.  I wanted to hug her -- to kiss her -- something.  But I knew better.  I stood up and walked over to the door.  My footsteps seemed to echo in the room.  I opened the door and turned slightly to look back at her.  I had tears in my eyes and was surprised to see her having tears in her eyes as well.  Was it because she was scared or due to the fact that she felt something towards me?  "I will always love you," I said uqiety.  I was not sure if she heard me, but I did not wait to find out.  I closed the door and Appareated to my parents house where thye were watching Dona.

I barely heard what Dean said... I bit my lip and was a little grateful he left.  I looked at the ring on my finger.  I went to move it to at least my right hand -- it did not feel right to be wearing it.  When I touched it, I just could not bring myself to move it or to take it off.... why was that?