Hands up, when the music drops we both put our hands up put your hands on my body. ---February 14th 1977

I saw james leave and got a little worried. Was he going to ruin somethign for me? Was there anything for him to ruin, though? I wasn'tn sure, and I didnt' want him to decide for me. "Hey, guys, I'll be back... I'm going to the powder room," I lied. I didn't want lily to be wise of what I was doing, though I was sure she could figure it out easily. It wasn't hard to find them to be quite honest... I just followed the footprints. I made sure I hid mine, though... they didnt' need to know I was out here...

I heard what James said... and I leaned against the snowy tree next to me that I was hiding behind. I was already shaking from the cold, I hadn't grabbed a cloak or anything. Was this just a game to them? Or was James just twisting it so I couldn't be happy for one bloody night?

I sighed, he doesn't know if he likes the idea of this going on anymore. " I'm a jerk...." I said plainly. " Why did I think this was a good idea?" I asked him. Frustrated. This is stupid. I should be able to tell him I think I may be developing feelings for Ember. There was no easy way to tell him that... " Prongs...if I'm going to do that....I'd have to be a jerk.." I sighed. This is stupid. " Prongs I saw something tonight. I wish I didn't see...how can I just ignore it?" I asked him. Knowing this will make Prongs erupt I prepared for it.

I sighed, this was not going to turn out well at all. I'm going to have to fix everyone up when they come back in a fight. Then Ember got up as she said she was going to the powder room. I raised my eyebrows, shaking my head. " I give up..."

I raised my eyebrows. "Saw what, exactly?" I inquired, trying to keep my temper down.

I blinked furiously to keep my face dry. I didn't want to try keeping
my tears silent because I wanted to hear this. This is what would
decide everything for me. What my brother thought he was doing... what
Sirius was actually doing with me... if they thought this was funny...
everything. James was definitely goign to hear about ti. There was no
way that he was going to avoid a confrontation.

I sighed and looked at Lily. "This is about to blow up, isn't it? And it won't be pretty..... great. Who told them it was stupid? I did."

I took a deep breath. " I saw something nice in her Prongs...something I have never seen before. Someone who has fun with me as opposed to just thinking that I'm just going to dump them after a week. " I explained. I knew this was going to erupt I didn't care. I was not eating myself up about this. Who am I kidding of course I was. Here my bestfriend was standing while I told him I may have feelings for someone for the first time and I'm not allowed to explore it. I looked to him. " Prongs it just felt different.." I shrugged. " Believe me the last thing I want to do is mess up a friendship we've had for seven years. You have to understand that." I pointed out. " But it just made me happier seeing something different then just a quick snog in a broom closet.. but then there's her being your sister...and I can't hurt you and I don't want to hurt her..." I told him. Looking straight at his eyes.

I nodded, " Yes it's going to erupt. You and everyone in this building knows that Ember is growing up and she's going to do something know matter what. I mean really, he should know shes going to do what she wants despite what James says. " I snapped angrily. James was blowing this way out of proportion. He was going to hear about it...Shaking my head. " Remus. They could be like the perfect couple or something. I mean did you see both of their faces. It was different. " I said trying to make him see my point. " James won't hear about it because he knows it's sirius and he's one of his best friends. This is not going to be pretty and people in the middle are going to be told to pick a side. Which is just ridiculous. I shook my head. " Let's hope we can continue the dance sometime eh...Why don't you and Chloe go sing a song?" I suggested. " It may help all of forget that it may get interrupted. "

" Lily, i don't think Remus wants to go and sing. " I told her, but she looked at me that way so I looked over to Remus to see his response. I shrugged, " I'm not going to force you...but I may go sing a song. " I told him with a smile.

I internalized my groan. "Sirius... this can't happen. I don't want to be mean, but it's you. You're just like me. And I don't want that to be going on with my sister. it's why we get along so well... but not for my sister. I'm sorry... but this is just all wrong. I don't know why I agreed for this to happen..." I ran my hands through my hair and kicked at the snow and looked away from him for a moment. "I think we need to go and find her and you need to tell her that this was all just a mistake because that's all it is...." I wasmore talking to myself than Sirus. I didnt' want to hurt him, but blood came first... but Sirius was basically blood, what was I talking about? That's why this was just so wrong.

I held up my hands. "Lily, I agree. james is overreacting about everything; he always has with Ember. But she's his baby sister... so it's understandable. I just hope that he and Sirius don't ruin something they have because of this..." I sighed. Yes, let's get things off of James and Sirius... the firewhiskey was making me feel a little looser, like James said. "Sure... let's go up there and sing. Horribly, I might add about myself."

I smiled slightly. Sirius was having feelings for me. It made me want to cry; it's what I've wanted for how long? I've basically wasted my dating life waiting for him. Yeah, I had other relationships, but I wanted Sirius the entire time. James was being a dick. Who was he to tell us who we were and weren't allowed to date? I couldn't wait until he walked away from Sirius. I crossed my arms and got ready to go at him. This was stupid. I was an adult and so was Sirius. We could do whatever the hell we wanted. The tears in my eyes were more from fury now than being upset. I understood why SIrius left... he didn't know what to do. That's understandable, but not James.

I sighed, " How can I tell her that when I'm not sure Prongs....I know I'm like you....do you really think I would hurt her intentionally?" I asked him. " I mean I don't have a good rep. But I don't know mate.... How can I just say something that I am confused about?"

I grinned. " Okay....but what song should we sing horribly together?" I asked him. Looking over to him with one of the biggest grins on my face.

"Sirius... I don't think it's a good idea to probe further on this topic. You're just confused," I told him. "And you could tell her that... but that it probably won't go into anything. Because it's just wrong. You're basically part of the family... it's just wrong." I didn't want to wrap my head around this. It couldn't happen... it wasn't right.