You're falling out of reach -- Spring/Summer 2000

I wrapped my arms around Lucy and held her.  "Honey... shhh," I said quietly.  "I know it's tough... but if he just woke up, you have to give him time.  Lestrange is known for driving people to the extreme... let's hope she didn't succeed with your dad, okay?"  I really hoped that I was right.

I nodded into Uncle James' chest.  I pulled away from him and wiped my tears off of my cheeks.  "They put him into a separate room now, too... just to be on the safe side, I guess.  You really think he'll end up remembering everything?  Maybe he's just disoriented right now," I said, wanting to be hopeful.

I nodded at her, brushing hair away from her face.  "Lu, I promise everything will be alright," I said to her.  I would make sure of that.  Remus was asking for me, his dad, and Sirius.  We would make sure that everything would work out.  I took hold of her hand.  "What room is he in now?  I will go talk to him and I want you to stay with your mum, okay?" I did nto want her to get herself all worried... she was pregnant, after all.

I nodded at Uncle James.  "Okay... please, find me when you know anything else.  I sent word to Uncle Sirius, too," I told him as we walked towards the lift to take us to the proper floor.  "I'll send him when he gets here.  I'm sure that he'll end up in Mum's room rather than Dad's new one..."  I still could nto believe what was going on.

I gave Lucy another hug when we parted ways.  I found Remus's room and knocked on the door, which was slightly ajar. "Moony?  It's Prongs," I said, opening it up.  I saw him standing there staring out the window down at the street below.  At least he still had a private room.  Most likely because of his lycanthropy.  "How are you feeling?"  I knew that was a silly question to ask, but I had to start somewhere.

I turned around and saw my best mate looking a lot older than the last time I remembered -- which made sense since I could barely recognize myself in the mirror.  I walked over to him and embraced him.  "Prongs... what's going on?  I am so lost... where's Sirius? ...my dad?" I asked him.  I was sure that they would have come straight away.  Especially my dad.

I was not around when Remus lost his father, but I knew it had been bad by the way everyone spoke about it.  I motioned for Remus to sit down and I sat at the end of his bed.  "Well, Padfoot will be here soon enough," I said to him. "But I need to tell you something about your dad, Moony.  Please... you'll want to sit for this."  I could tell that he knew what I was going to say just by the tone of my voice.  I could read it in his eyes.

I felt my heart breaking; I could recognize that tone.  I may have lost my memories, but I could still tell when someone had bad news to tell me.  I felt my knees start to give way and nearly collapsed onto the bed.  I looked at Prongs.  "Is he... he's gone, isn't he?" I asked, my voice nearly dissipating from the realization of what was going on.

I wish that someone who knew more details about what happened could be the one to tell him, but he was asking.  I had to be the one to break the news.  I sat next to him, nodding.  "Yeah... he's gone," I said sadly.  "I'm so sorry, Moony..."  I could see him breaking in front of me.  After all the times he had been there for me throughout the years, I was going to be there for him.

I buried my face in my hands, leaning forward on my elbows that were resting on my knees.  How was I goign to get through any of this without my dad?  It was me and him against the world... it always had been.  I could not do this without him.  I pulled myself together enough to look at Prongs through tear soaked eyes.  "How...?" I asked.  Had it been old age?  Was it sickness?  Was it something worse?

I ran a hand through my hair.  "Erm... I wasn't around then... I had been trapped -- it's a long story," I added.  "But from what I was told... Greyback got him.  You were there with him, in his final moments, though... you just weren't able to save him..." I trailed off, seeing the pain in my best mate's eyes was killing me.

Tears fell from my eyes as I buried my face in my hands.  How could I not be able to save my own father?  After what seemed like forever, I lifted my head and looked over at James.  "What else have I missed?  Prongs... I am so lost."  I hated feeling this vulnerable.

"Of course you're lost -- you have no memories," I said to him simply and quietly.  "Where do I even begin to catch you up?"  I was not the right person to do this.  "Do you remember anything concrete or just the abstract of your dad, Greyback, me and Padfoot?" That would sort of give me a start of how to help him I hoped.

I thought back, trying to remember things.  "I can remember some things... not my entire childhood, but I remember some.  And I remember us in school... sort of.  What you did for me... but I can't really say I remember specifics.  There's anger towards Peter... why is that?" I asked, my brow furrowed as I thought, giving myself a headache.  But I needed to try to remember specifics.  All I could remember was anything from a younger time... looking at a thirty to forty something year old version of myself scared me, in all honesty.

I bit my lip slightly and sighed.  "We can start with your childhood," I said, thinking that might be the simplest area to start with.  Though in all honesty, Remus's life was never simple.  "Erm.. I might not be able to give you every detail, but I can at least tell you everything you confided  in me -- which is what I believe is quite a bit.  When Chloe wakes, she will be able to tell you more, I'm sure."