Noble & Most Ancient house of Black--There's secrets in this life that I can't hide...--- December 14th 1975

Sitting at home, regular in my room. Just fought with my father this is ridiculous. I have to stay here because we have more of my odd family coming over. Just wonderful, I get to have everyone judging me the whole time. I wanted to leave to go to James' place. I sat looking through the window wondering when I would notice some people staring up at me. Only wizards could see my house, so that's how I knew they were here. " This is stupid...getting judged on who my friends are. Because I don't have the same beliefs...." I muttered to my owl who looked as angry as I did. Or at least I could pretend that I had someone who would actually talk too. Waiting for the rest of my family, thankfully Andromeda would be attending at least I hoped. I hung out with Andy while everyone was here. We didn't have the same beliefs as our family so we get along.

We stand up for what we believe in, Andy and I are not puppets to be controlled by our purist family. I liked Evans, I mean not in that sense but she's a friend....James loves her, I like her..so she's alright in my books. She's helped me out so much. But they brought her up and I lost it on them all. So, I was told to come up here and sit and wait for my family to arrive. So, thankfully I'm away from everyone. Although, I think I may bail out soon. Just run to the Potter's they were always helpful for me. Took me in and actually liked my company and didn't treat me as some form of worm because I wasn't in a particular house and I believed that everyone has a right to know how to do magic if they want too.

I had completely been separated from brother, he was practically a prodigy for them. The little puppet they could make dance. I didn't want him to end up that way but my parents hold on him was to strong. So here I sit waiting, for hell to begin.

I was walking by my father, holding on to his arm; my mother and both of my sisters followed. As I walked by mirrored window I couldn’t help but glance at my father and me, walking along one another. I knew of no other family that had such an exquisite taste and walked with such elegance. Indeed, there were not many pure blooded families left… I could not help but feel respect and affection towards my parents. For many years they both were actively trying to stop wizarding world from changing; the world which started accepting things that were simply unacceptable and allowing things that would never be allowed by any respected traditional wizarding family. The things would one day ruin and extinguish our race... Not finding much support, they gave up on the dream of bringing our world back to its right ways, but they never gave up on our family and did everything in their power to raise their children in traditional ways. I was much thankful to them for that.

I could not help but feel revulsion towards one of the greater oppositionists of my parents cause, Professor Dumbledore. I really wondered of why old full was not pronounced mad till this day. He was of good use to other muddle loving, blood traitorous fools, but he was clearly off his rocker. My parents had great respect towards his insignificant persona, but I knew better. I had other ideals. My attention was drawn to a new underground politician, a young wizard under an alias, “Lord Voldemort”. He was calling for purity of blood and complete elimination of mudbloods . He was calling to history, reminding of our superiority over beasts, of our place in this world. My parents did not side with him on his views, they thought of him to be a little bit too drastic. Someone really had to take a stand, someone had to take drastic measures and this someone has come. It was only a matter of time.

I could not see another pureblooded family being broken apart by another mudgle. I would never see them as equal. They are simple spares, fake wizards; they should have never been taken seriously. I felt my blood boiling, my vision slightly clouding. I had so much hate and rage towards this new world, world that I hated with passion. This was the day I made my decision. I would die before I ever hang my head down! I will not give up without a fight. I will murder for what IS Right.

I felt my father squeezing my hand slightly, catching my eyes, “Bella, is everything alright?” He asked me in most carrying voice. I nodded, smiling slightly. Everything finally was alright, everything was in its place, “Yes, father.” I answered softly. “Go on then, join your sisters and your cousins.” And just then I noticed that I was already inside of 12 Grimmauld Place. Both of my sisters were inside with Regulus. Sirius was nowhere to be seen.

I looked out as I noticed people staring at my house. '' They're here....oh good....'' I rolled my eyes, giving a stretch. '' It's beginning...'' i said to my owl who hooted at me, more then likely because of my dramatics. I debated with myself, to go downstairs with my own free will, or to be bellowed at to go downstairs. At least Andy was here, it got to bad I know I'd be right back up here and Andy would come and keep me company while Regulus and bellatrix and Narcissa stayed downstairs to talk about the rights of people who aren't pureblooded and that they are getting everything they clearly don't deserve. It was getting me mad just thinking about it. That's exactly how my family worked. It was to make everyone think horribly about themselves and pretend just because of blood status that they are better then everyone who actually accomplished things in life. Other than just being pure blooded. I heard my name being shouted, then about five minutes later Kreacher came in to tell me that his masters had beckoned me to join them downstairs. I nodded at him, I hated him and knew he hated me, he still had to respect me sometimes which was odd when I actually got something that I asked him to help me with.

On the very rare occasion that I had even wanted help. I grabbed a sweater and walked downstairs to where everyone else was. My mother had told me to be polite and say hello to my aunt and uncle. '' Hello...'' I said, My father then told me to go see my brother and cousins. Oh how the joys of being apart of my family were soon going to start up. In a lovely heated arguement that would have me being beaten and everyone there watching. ''Sirius go now!'' My mother urged me in the direction of my brother and cousins.'' Wouldn't it just be easier if I were to stay silent in my room?'' I asked her. I was not going to go into a discussio where all the people that actually cared for me like an actual family member for a bashing session. She looked at me like I would die if I didn't go in there. '' Alright...I,M going.''

As I slowly walked in the room, I saw Sirius stepping down from the stairs that lead to his bedroom. I smirked, folding arms at my chest. Sirius and I were the same age, almost the same highs, same built having exactly the same hair color; the only difference was in him being a boy and me being a girl. He looked like the brother I never had. I met his longing gaze with a cold regard. If I were his mother, he would have been long gone; disowned. Nerveless his eyes always searched for pity or understanding; like he would get it from me. I did not pity weakness, I never have; I was not brought up this way. Sirius should know better.

His awkwardness humored me. The way he always tried staying away one step behind or ahead of us all. I watched him closely, trying to understand the reason behind this fiasco. He was the hair of the Black fortune; he was brought up by parents identical to my own who preached the same values and views. Where did they go wrong making him ask their principles? I could only blame it on school, Dumbledore and this good for nothing, Potter. I cocked my eyebrow at him as he uncomfortably moved from foot to foot. My sisters and his brother took a seat by the fire, talking of balls and flowers, horses and weaponry, dances and guests… I had no interest in such nonsense, neither did Sirius. I could tell by the look on his face.

“Bella, what do you think of the new styles for sleeves this season?” I heard Andromeda turn towards me. I was more prepared for an attack of a dementor then this sort of question. Now it was my turn to look awkward, all eyes were on me, including his. I knew nothing of late fashion, I always wore what I liked.
“I…” I looked at Regulus who was grinning at me as he held up a magazine with some sort of visual representation. If I ever admitting to loving someone, it would be Regulus, I absolutely loved that kid,
“I think they are ok, a little short for the weather…”
I was cut off by Narcissa displeased moan, “I think they are boring” she has muttered. I rolled my eyes. Here comes Narcissa, the fashion police to save the day.

.

'' Well here I was and it was a place I did not want to be at all. They were talking about Balls, and fashion. I had the talent of pick up whatever and it most of the time looked good on me. I shrugged, looking voer to Bellatrix I gave a nod. I was not going to start any arguemtns besides all of them would go tattle on me or somehting and then it would lead to me getting beaten. Which I always had a little thing against. It was always good just to shut up and let them bother you as much as they were going to bother you. I did not know how much I could take. Stretching I realized this is going to be one long day. I moaned irritably, I knew I was stuck in here letting them talk about whatever they were going to be talking about so I figured I should grab a book. They're not going to include me in any discussions. It wasn't like I wanted to be included in them anyway. So, everyone wins. So, I stood up and walked over to the book shelf. There had to be something there that I would read.

I wrapped my arms around my small frame trying to keep myself warm. I walked to the window looking out. This was not the place I wanted to be. I wanted to be by HIS side. The more I let my brain roam, the more I caught myself thinking of him. He was someone whom I would have followed till the end.
I met up with him; I would lie if I say otherwise. I would have been grounded for a week if my parents would have known. But all of this really didn’t matter. He was our progress and our future. He was the future savior of wizarding world.
Lucius took me to see him at his manor. It was a perfect hiding place, no one would have found us there; a simple muggle village one the outskirts of London. I was so excited in finaly meeting him after hearing so much of him from Lucius who had already joined his ranks. When I first saw him my heart jumped. He was extremely tall, young gentlemen in his mid-thirties with exceptionally pleasant face. He took my hand in his, kissing it politely; his eyes never leaving mine. He led me to the chair sitting beside me.

He told me of all the good things he tried to do for our community. He opened my eyes on our current controversial policies leaving me in awe. I was determined, I truly agreed with everything he said. He spoke of broken families, of our own who turned their backs on traditions. He spoke of Hogwarts and all the filth that was permitted to contaminate this ancient school. I watched him closely, sucking in every word. We spoke for hours. He suddenly asked me if I wanted to join him on his journey to a better future. I turned to Lucius. The bastard wasn’t in the room anymore. I never noticed him leaving.
“I will give you power to change this world forever” he whispered into my ear so sweetly. I turned towards him again, noticing the close proximity of his face to mine. I was mesmerized, I was under the spell.
“Bella, join me” he whispered again into my lips before crushing them against mine. I gladly accepted his kiss wrapping my arms around his neck. His kiss was hungry, violent; it made me moan in ecstasy, “Yeeeees, my lord. I will join you on your quest…” I heard my own voice.
“That’s my girl…” He whispered breaking the kiss and tracing a line from my lips down between my breasts.
At this point I lost all control over my body. Something about him has drawn me, wiping every trace of arrogance. If it was any other boy in my school I would have slapped him or cursed him to hell. I felt his hand trace circles over my chest, I did not stop him. He pushed my sleeves down kissing my neck. I didn’t push him. I felt his hands brining my dress folds up exposing my legs. I did not stop him.
My name was Bellatrix Black and I was 16, and I found myself in the arms of a man twice my age.
“I bound you to be mine forever, Bella” he spoke in a harsh voice. He was violent but I loved every moment of it. “And you will follow my orders, you will do my biddings, you will do whatever I command you to do…”
I found myself agreeing to every word he said. I was not sure what came over me.


“Bella!!” I was brought out of my daydream by Narcissa, “We are going shopping, you wanna come?” I looked at Sirius, “No” I simply answered. I was in no mood for shopping.

Thank god, they're leaving!! Looking up from my book, to everyone hearing that they would be leaving. I'll be by myself, I would love this, alone and I could go back to my room. Then I heard Bellatrix say no. Great....Just wonderfully great. I shook my head slightly. This is stupid, which meant there would be criticizing me and my friends. This is great, I better get ready for a battle.

<<OOC: My gawd, it is so hard RPing her! She is a freaking Psycho case!>>
Narcissa made a displeased face, and was about to throw a fit when Andromeda took by her arm.
“Cissy, believe me, you don’t want Bellatrix to join”, she said playfully. Sometimes she made me wonder of how she ended up in Slytherin and not Hufflepuff… The girl truly had a heart of gold. Ever since Narcissa was born, Dro has been running around with her like a chicken with an egg, protecting her from dangers.., or me. I on the other hand rarely passed the opportunity to put little wimp in her place.
I watcher Andromeda get Narcissa up and lead her out of the room, Regulus followed after but not before giving me a reassuring look. He tried talking to Sirius for the past month but with no result. When they have left the room, I leaned against the window seal turning my full attention to Sirius. I had a mixed feeling of affection and hate towards him. It almost felt like after my trip my soul split in two. A small part of me still wanted to give him a hug and tell him everything would be good but a bigger part of me wanted to perish him.
My feelings towards surroundings have changed. I felt myself being more irritated lately. My episodes were more frequent and my remedy stopped working. More than often I woke up covered in cold sweat unable to recall my nightmare. More than ever I found myself places to which I could not recall ever arriving. My mind was playing tricks on me and I did not know how to control myself anymore.
“Joining the party, I see…” I said in a voice which sounded harsher then I intended. I was well aware of my facial features which showed him nothing but hostility. If he only knew a true reason behind the mask… But no one did, not even my father.

Raising my eyes from my book. " What party?" I asked her, and why on earth I would want to partake in any form of party she was at. Regulus had tried talking to me saying how I could fix everything so I wasn't hated by my own parents. It's not like I would have to completely change my values or anything. I would just have to hate everyone but snobby little git Slytherins. Deciding to stay out of any disagreement I let my eyes wonder back to my book waiting for her to reply.

“The one you are at this moment”, I raised my eyebrow. Where exactly was his mind wondering? It felt like he was no part of this house or our family for the matter. It felt like he wasn’t even present or under some powerful dumbing spell."If you haven’t noticed, we ARE at your house, present at the party YOUR parents are holding…"

Nodding " Yes, they are hosting a get together... I'm not so I don't think it's important that I show up. I hold no opinion to my family... they don't care what I do or say so why should I do the same?" I asked her peering over my book. I knew she was trying to start something which I wasn't in the mood for but I knew I had to prepare.