My voice and heart were breaking -- 2017

"Maybe," I replied to her, getting the swing higher and higher.  Once we were at a good height, I looked over at her.  "Ready to jump?"

I shook my head, but I was grinning.  Just like we used to do when I was growing up.  I was never ready to fly off the swing and hope that I would land on my feet.  "One... two... three!" I said, swinging in time to my counting.  On three, we both let go and went flying.  Landing was not exactly graceful from either one of us, but it had us both laughing.  I rolled a couple of times and sat up, seeing Dad groaning on the ground.  "Oh, come on, old man," I teased, "that didn't do anything to you!"  I got to my feet and went over to him.

Maybe it did do something to him because he was not acting normal.  The groaning almost sounded more like a growl... "Dad...?" I questioned, not letting my voice shake as I spoke.  He looked at me and his eyes... they reminded me of a wolf's eyes.  He looked a little crazed, too, and unsure of where he was.  "Daddy... it's Lucy."  I put a hand on his shoulder after bending down next to him and he grabbed my hand so fiercely that it made me cry out.  It almost felt like his grip had been so tight that my hand and wrist would bruise and it almost felt as though he cracked something.

When we jumped, something happened.  Suddenly Boris came out and when I landed on the ground, tumbling, I felt him take control.  I felt a growl rise in my throat and I was not entirely sure where it was coming from.  It was as if it were hte middl eof a transformation -- I was human but getting a wolf-mindset.  I felt a hand on my shoulder; I knew that it was just Lucy, but Boris viewed it as a threat.  He reached out and forced me to grab my daughter -- when she cried out I regained control.  Much better than the night I had hurt Chloe before she passed...

That image made me win over Boris.  Lucy stared at me, fearfully, cradling her hand.  "Lu... I'm sorry; I'm so, so sorry," I said to her, the pain evident in my voice.

I took a deep breath and kept my arm close to my body.  "It's alright, Dad," I said to him.  "It wasn't your fault."  I tried to smile at him, but I could tell that he felt horrid about the whole thing.  My hand really hurt, but I was not going to let it show.  I loved Daddy and it was not his fault.

I could tell that I really hurt my daughter.  I reached towards her, but refrained enough because I was not sure if she would even want me to touch her again.  "Lu... it's not alright," I said to her quietly.  "Am I able to help at all?"

I shook my head.  "Dad," I said to him as kindly as I could, "I'm fine.  It's not a big deal.  It'll heal."

I could tell that it was hurting her.  I wished that I could do something.  I could sense that she was a little fearful, but there was nothing I could do to help with that.  "Lu..." I trailed off, knowing that I would not be able to make her feel better and it broke my heart.

I felt tears come to my eyes, it had nothing to do with the pain in my wrist, however.  It was the fact that I was, indeed, losing my father and it broke my heart so much to know that and to finally realize that.  I took a deep breath and gave him a smile.  "Dad, don't beat yourself up about anything," I said to him quietly.  I would be his strong little girl; I had to be.

I pulled out my wand.  "At least let me try to help that wrist," I said to her gently, knowing that she was not okay but letting her think that she was fooling me.  It was what she wanted, after all.