September 1997: I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole.

"I know he is," I admitted. "Still, it just caught me off guard. I was hoping for at least one night of peace before anyone said anything." My tone shifted, as thoughts of how Draco's reputation might begin to change now that he'd asserted his protection for me. "They're going to make you pay for this. You know that, right? I don't think Crabbe is as thick-headed as you think."

My gaze went from meeting Draco's eyes to closely examining the striped pattern of my bedsheets. I already knew what he'd given up in order to stick with the good side, and allying himself with me over his old friends, Crabbe and Goyle, was going to have further ramifications.

I watched as Blaise's gaze dropped and I dropped mine as well.  Of course he was right.  But I had a feeling it would not be me who would pay, but Juniper.  Everyone who knew me realized that to get to me, they had to go through her.  I could be hard as ice and resolute in any decision until they brought out my twin.  And I would kill for my sister, so hopefully they would leave her out of it as any child of a Death Eater knew exactly the lengths I would go through to protect her.  I took a deep breath to get my air of confidence back before speaking again.  

"Let them try," I said with cockiness that I was sure Blaise knew was completely fake.  The facade dropped when I addressed his concerns.  "Hopefully you'll get a little bit of peace just from this... while they devise their evil plan, anyways.  And, if not, I can speak to Professor Snape; he might have ideas on how to keep the peace for the year."  Snape was always more of a father-figure to me than my own father, though I would never truly admit that out loud.  I trusted him; he helped me and Juniper over the summer get out of Malfoy Manor.

"I don't mind the side-eyed glances and the double-takes," I said. "Those things don't bother me. I just want to make sure that I'm safe. I'm good for now, but if it keeps up or escalates, let's talk to Snape together."

I could tell he wasn't feeling the strongest at the moment. Since I didn't necessarily feel like I needed a protector, I slowly reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't flinch, so I assumed that he'd gotten over the awkward incident that happened between us when I first told him. That made me feel a lot better: Even though I was still attracted to him, it was good to know that our relationship--our friendship--had not been affected by any of my inner demons.

"Look," I continued, "we're safe here. This is Hogwarts. Everyone who wants You-Know-Who to lose is here. They can--they will--protect us, too. All we have to do is ask."

I could easily talk to Snape with Blaise.  "But if he threw a punch at you already, Blaise, talking to Snape might be inevitably soon.  And you know that I'll help with that," I assured him.  It was horrible to feel alone - something we both had felt before.  And, though Blaise would pretend to be just as strong as I did, no one should have to do things on their own.

When he put his hand on my shoulder, I knew I should look him in the eye.  I cared not that he had done what he did over the summer.  It was something that -- once it passed any awkward stages -- we were sure to laugh about in the future.  If we even had the chance of any future.  I took a deep breath and nodded; I agreed that we were safe.  But I was not so sure that they would protect us if we asked.  I killed Dumbledore.  Even though it had been him or Juniper, a lot of them would not understand.

"You're right," I agreed.  "We are safe for now."  I tried not to make the last two words sound foreboding, though I was unsure how well that worked.  I knew that the Death Eaters were still trying to somehow penetrate the school again.  They wanted darkness to fill the heads of all the students.  Snape was trying to stay on both sides, but his place was getting precarious.  I had a feeling that things would seep into Hogwarts one way or another.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, Draco was right. Our time within the safety net that Hogwarts provided was coming to an end. Although he kept me informed with whatever his theories were, or whatever he already knew, I was sure that there were things beyond my intelligence that I couldn't even fathom. Darkness was coming. But maybe that's where my glittery rainbow fabulousness would come in. (OK, that comment was way too over-the-top for me, but there's always a silver lining to everything. Right?)

"Let's just take everything as it comes," I suggested. "If anything else happens because of me, then we work through it. If anything happens because of You-Know-Who, then we work through it. All we have to do is stay under the radar and keep our eyes and ears open. It's fine. We'll be fine."

Well, when he said it like that, it made sense.  I smiled slightly and nodded.  "That makes perfect sense," I agreed.  "It's probably the best idea... a lot better than any of my random ideas I would have come up with."  I was starting to think like a Death Eater, so my ideas were getting darker than they ever were before... which was why I did not voice them.

"It just seems like the easiest thing to do," I justified, "since we aren't really able to predict the future, unless you think anything Trelawney says is worth anything. I'd rather not worry until I have to. But, I guess, apparently that's now -- especially about this."

I turned away from Draco and fumbled through my suitcases, making a feeble attempt to finish unpacking. Once I got finished, I would stroll through the hallways until Crabbe and Goyle were sleeping; I'd resolved myself already that I would be going to bed after they did and waking up before they did. It seemed safest, even if Draco was around to protect me.

I looked over at Blaise and sighed.  "Well, you won't have to worry about this for that long," I assured him.  I would do something to make sure that he did not have to worry about this.  I saw what he was doing and figured I would at least attempt to finish my unpacking as well.  "What are you planning on doing about this right now, though?" I asked after a few minutes of digging in my trunk.  I heard gruff voices and I knew that Crabbe, Goyle, and the rest of them wouldbe coming in to sleep soon.

I sighed. "Well, I guess it'll be easier for everyone if they don't see me and I don't see them," I said. "So I'll go to bed after they do and wake up before they do. As for all the time in-between, who knows. Library? Grounds? I'll figure something out. Regardless of your being on my side, Draco, I just don't want to risk anything."

Their voices were outside, in the common room but drawing closer to the dormitory. Part of me envisioned the worst: They walk in and beat me and Draco into oblivion. I doubt that would happen on the first night, but it did seem logical to assume that it would happen eventually. Knowing Crabbe and Goyle, they'd want to sustain the drama for a little bit longer.

I leaned against the post of my bed and crossed my arms.  "Okay," I said slowly.  "If you need help... or whatever... during your random wanderings, I'm there."  Basically, I wanted to make sure he knew that I was not going to leave him all on his own.  I also did not want to overstep and act like a bodyguard.

"Thank you, Draco," I said with a smile. The dormitory door opened and the lumbering trolls that were Crabbe and Goyle trudged inside. I took a deep breath and exchanged a glance with Draco. "I'll see you later," I whispered. Tucking everything away and locking my trunk, I slid it under my four-poster and walked toward the door, hoping against all odds that nobody would say or do anything stupid.

I watched him leave and did not necessarily like him going off by himself.  I trusted no one at the school right now.  At least once he was out of the dungeons, perhaps he would be a little more safe out of range from the Slytherins.  But sneaking around at night?  I tried to give him a reassuring smile when he left.  Then I rounded on Crabbe and Goyle.  "What the bloody hell is wrong with you two?" I questioned, keeping my voice low but deadly.

The guys and I walked in and I glared at Zabini when he left.  We had all talked about what we were going to do about Malfoy and Zabini.  When Malfoy rounded on us, that made me rather angry.  I looked at him.  "What's wrong with me?  What's wrong with him?  He's the freak," I said to Malfoy aggressively.

I stared at Crabbe incredulously.  "Let's see," I said sarcastically, "what's wrong with Crabbe?  Oh, that's right, you take up about the entire common room just by standing there.  You can barely put together sentences -- in all honesty, I'm surprised they sent you in here to say anything to Zabini.  But then again, out of you and Goyle... you might be the better of the two."  I glared at the two of them.  I knew they were in this together - they always have been.

I moved to throw a blow at Malfoy's face, but Goyle stopped me.  That was right.  Not yet.  We had a plan.  It was going to be awesome.  I was surprised that Goyle did not try to hit Malfoy at the insult he gave him -- but Goyle might not have realized the insult either.  I glared at Malfoy and stepped back.  "Shut it," I said to him, changing into pajamas.  I was glad that Zabini left... I probably would have slept in my robes if he had stayed.