I know you don't think that I am trying; I know you're wearing thin down to the core -- Summer 2007

I stumbled back into the house after I knew that Dorian was asleep.  I still had enough sense not to let him see me like this, but Pansy was standing in front of me and it was clear that she had been crying.  Why was she still awake?  It was really rather late... hence why I had come hom eat this time.  I had hoped to avoid her.  "Hey..." I slurred.

I was tired of seeing Draco coming home drunk every single night from work.  I could not keep doing this; Ian was in bed and I needed to think of our little boy... who was not necessarily so little anymore.  Draco had become, slowly, worse and worse as the days... months... years went by.  It was now to the point where it could no longer be ignored.  I needed to get out of here with Dorian or else I feared Draco would end up doing something horrible.  I crossed my arms at him, hoping that my eyes did not betray me with the tears that I had been shedding.  "We need to talk," I said quietly.

Why did she need to talk now?  I was barely funcitonal.  "What do you want?" I asked, wondering if she could even understand a word that was coming out of my mouth.

I steeled myself against his tone.  He was drunk.  Of course he was going to be rude and harsh.  "We need to talk about us... and Ian," I said to him simply, trying to keep my voice strong.

I cocked an eyebrow.  Okay, she had my attention even through my drunken stupor.  "What about us?" I asked, trying to get my words to come out clearly.

Did he really not see where I was headed with this?  I took a deep breath, trying to keep my composure and strength to do this.  I wished he was a little bit more sober, but if I waited, then I would not do it.  "Draco, you need to stop all of this drinking," I said to him, hating the fact that my voice was shaking slighlty.

"I'm not drinking that much," I said quickly, my anger quick to rise these days along with my alcohol levels in my system.  I glared at her, thinking she was ridiculous to even accuse me of such things.  "How dare you speak to me like I'm a child, Pansy."  I was sounding so much like him.

I bit my lip to keep myself from tearing up at the way he was speaking ot me.  I really ought to be used to it by now.  I took a deep breath and looked at him, leveling with his glare.  "If you do not wish to be spoken to that way, then change the way you are behaving, Draco," I said, despising myself for talking to him like his father.  But what other way could I get through to him?  I have tried and tried to get through to him being myself -- the way I used to always get through to him.  But now... it only seemed like Lucius could do that and I definitely saw the way my tone and words sliced through his drunken aura he had.

Her words were like daggers through my heart.  She reminded me of myself and my father... and it scared me.  What did I turn her into?  "Say what you need to say," I snapped at her, despite feeling horrible for doing so.

"If you do not change, I'm leaving and taking Dorian with me," I said to him bluntly.  There was no way that I was going to let him even beging to think that there was a way he was going to keep Dorian.

Any snappy retort that might have been already forming on my lips disappeared instantly.  It felt like Pansy had just hit me with Aunt Bellatrix's hybrid curse.  "No... you can't do that," I said, my voice sounding like one of a child's.

I raised my eyebrows at him.  "Really?  Can't I?"  I said, crossing my arms, feeling more confident than I felt.  "You have really left me no choice, Draco."

Every word she spoke were like knives in my heart.  "Pansy... don't do this to me," I said, hoping that she would take pity on me, something I never wanted someone to do.

That twas the sad thing.  He did not even realize what it was that was happening.  "I didn't do this to you," I said to him quietly.  "You did this to yourself."

I sat there, staring at her.  She was right, of course.  This was all my own undoing.  "I just need help like I did last time," I said, thinking of when the kids were first born.