I don't want to see you go but it's not forever, not forever- December 1998/ January 1999

I smiled at her and laughed slightly at her reaction.  I looked at Draco and Pansy.  "Hey guys," I said, letting Pansy give me a hug.  They all knew that it was a good thing to let me decide if I wanted to be touched -- but things were getting easier for me.

"I didn't expect that reation from her," I said to Lincoln honestly.  "but here is my official congratulations."  I smiled at him.

"Yeah, but Lincoln didn't need to know that." I countered Pansy just before I closed the door to my room. I had to make sure I looked good for Lincoln, he deserved someone better than me, someone who didn't go around wearing baby spit-up all day. I quickly looked though my clothes and found a long-sleeved white shirt that said 'Be You Tiful' on it. Draco had gotten it for me for our birthday and I gave a small laugh. Since it was white, I was always hesitant to wear it with the babies but figured Lincoln would get a laugh out of it as well. I quickly changed into that shirt and blue jeans, curled my hair and put on some light make-up, the last two with magic, before taking one last look in the mirror. Once I figured I looked as good as I was going to look, I took a deep breath and went back out. "Hi Lincoln, sorry about that but I'm at last as presentable as I will ever be now."

I chuckled and grabbed Keegan up since it looked like she was about to fuss.  She was never quite comfortable iwth me and instantly wanted her daddy.  I handed her off to Draco.  "Linc, would you like a drink or something to eat?  June made a wonderful dinner," I said to him.

I chuckled at Juniper and gave her a kiss.  "You looked beautiful either way," I added to her.  I looked over at Pansy.  "I'd love a drink and a plate."  I smiled at my future sister-in-law.  I thought it was entertaining that Keegan wanted her daddy.  I went over to Ian and lifted him up since he was starting to get fussy and his mum was helping me out with getting me settled in.  "I'm assuming a toast will be in order once everyone is settled?" I asked, looking at hte other three adults in th eroom.

I took hold of Keegan and got her playing with one o fher toys in my arms.  I looked over at Lincoln.  "Of course," I said, wanting to make this entire engagement as normal as possible for Juniper since anythign good was always ruined for us.  I would do everything I could to make sure that nothing bad would ruin this for her... not this time.

I blushed when Lincoln kissed me and looked down to hide it from everyone. When I looked back up, I saw Lincoln holding Ian and Pansy start to get food on a plate for him. I quickly walked over and took Ian from my future husband. I knew he was getting better at physical contact, but this was supposed to be special day for him, we were celebrating our engagement after all, and I didn't want him to feel like he had to help out with the babies just because he was here. I smiled a Lincoln. "Don't worry, Auntie June can take him." I held him securely in my arms and rocked him slightly to hopefully stop his fussing. Then I walked over to where Pansy was and, with Ian in one hand, took the plate she was getting out with the other and put it on the counter. "Don"t worry, I can help Lincoln get settled." I smiled up at her as I one handedly got a plate together for him. I touched it with my wand to make sure it as still hot and took it over to the table. "It's ready Lincoln." I heated up what remained of Pansy's and Draco's food as well, happy that Ian had settled down for the most part. I got a drink for Lincoln and brought it back out as well. I knew they would probably tell me to sit down, but at least when I kept myself busy, all the horrible things that could happen because I was happy were temporarily gone from my mind. I took a quick look around the table to make sure I didn't miss anything. "Does anyone need anything else?"

I chuckled at her and shook my head.  "I would love it if you would sit down and enjoy everythign with us, June," I said to her gently.  I was sure that this was all nerves and having to deal with the way their family was.  I understood that to a point -- obviously not as much as she did, but still.  "Everything is good for right now.  Please," I added, smiling at her.

I thanked them, not used to getting that type of attention really.  "Really, June, you're making me nervous with how antsy you are," I pointed out to her.  I had not minded holding Ian, but I never argue with JUniper when she took him or Keegan when I held them.

I looked over at my sister and smiled.  I bounced Keegan in my arms slightly as I held her while taking a bite of food.  I had learned quickly to eat one handed while having kids.  "We do need to celebrate tonight for what it is," I said to June, giving her a pointed look.  Yes, normally with our happiness, something bad was bound to happen.  But that just meant we needed to try to enjoy the good -- which was something June had to tell me quite often with everything that happened with me and Pansy.

I looked around at my family, my real family. Draco, Pansy, Lincoln, Ian and Keegan. I slowly walked to my seat and heated up my plate with my wand while I bounced Ian slightly and sat down. "I'm sorry," I said to my husband-to-be. "I didn't mean to make you nervous. Nothing's going to happen. You don't need to worry." I gave him my best reassuring smile. I wouldn't let anything happen to Lincoln. He deserved a much better future than he would have with me. I sighed and nodded at my brother with a smile. "We do need to celebrate." I agreed. "I'm just not the best at knowing how to do that." I looked at everyone else in the room, hoping they could point me in the right direction. I needed to focus on the good right now, before the bad came in to wreck it. I needed to let my heart be happy for once, without worrying about the consequences until later. I needed to celebrate tonight for what it was, an impromptu engaged party with the people I cared about most in the world.

I chuckled.  "I don't think Lincoln meant the worst of you making him nervous," I pointed out teasingly.  I grinned at the group.  "Well, I guess it's up to me to show you guys how to celebrate as I'm pretty sure out of hte four of us, I'm the only one who knows how."  If etl a pang of pity and sympathy for the three of them.  Even though my family had the Pureblood mantra, they were still loving.  they may have pressured me to do certain things, but they were not bad.

With a flick of my wand, our drinks all refilled themselves.  "First, we need to release the tension in the air," I pointed out, knowing that Draco and June always dreaded the future.  It was hard to tell how Lincoln was coping with things.  "No bringing up families... or consequences... well, what about the Lupins?" I questioned, knowing that Lincoln had been adopted by them.  "Perhaps we all should get together for something bigger than this...?" 

Okay, that was not really celebrating if we were talking plans, but still.  It was better than negative thinking.

I furrowed my brow slightly:  Pansy was right.  She really probably was the only one who knew how to celebrate.  I smirked a tad at that thought, though.  "Oh, June and I weren't thinking of any party or anything, Pansy," I said to her, though I knew that she would not give it a rest now.  That was the way she was -- a dog with a bone.  I learned that on our week hiatus while June and Draco were dealing with Lucius, Bellatrix, and You-Know-Who.

I smiled slighlty when Pansy mentioned a celebration.  I glanced and June and knew at once that she was not thinking of anything more than this.  And when Lincoln spoke up, it confirmed my thoughts.  I merely chuckled and took a sip of my beverage.  "Good luck," I muttered, knowing how Pansy was with such things.

My eyes widened when Pansy mentioned a party with the Lupins. I looked over at Lincoln and was happy he and I were on the same page for this. I knew how she could be though, living with her these last few months taught me that once she had something in mind, it was not easy to change. I shook my head. "Pansy," I said, hoping I would be able to put a stop to this before it got too out of hand and trying to hide my nervousness at a party. What if Father came? What if the other Death Eaters crashed it? I shook my head to clear it and turned to my sister-in-law. "If I promise to try to think more positively and not think about what could happen because I'm happy, can we drop this? Lincoln's right, we really don't need a party or anything. We weren't expecting this at all remember?" I knew I was kind of being hypocritical but I just really did not want a party, there was too much on the line to risk. "We're keeping everything low key. There's no need for anything more than this." I tried to assure them with a smile.