You're really on your knees when you think you're standing tall -- Fall 2001

He was being so kind of gentle -- it made me wonder why I was doubting his love.  I took a deep breath and looked into his blue eyes.  "Well... no pet names... it seems like you have a hard time being affectionate," I explained.  I really hoped he would understand a little bit about how I was feeling.

I nodded and sighed. "I will be honest" I started out slowly, "it is hard for me to be affectionate.  I didn't exactly have a great example of how a loving marriage should look like."  My parents hardly ever even acted in love.  So I was really doing my bet with Pansy.  "And though our marriage was forced and that it may not have seemed like I loved you then.  To be honest, I'm not sure if I did."  I took a deep breath and continued.  "But I do love you.  Honest... I do, and I always will now."

I was slightly surprised by his blatant honesty, but was grateful.  I smiled at him.  "I'm sorry, I just wanted to know... I may not be able to do this if I didn't have you on my side and with me," I said to Draco gently.  I knew he did not have the best parents in the world to show hiim how to love, which was why I never really showed my doubts before.

I leaned forward and kissed her.  "I'll always be here for you adn the twins," I said softly.  I was glad to have someone as understanding as Pansy to get what I had to go through.  She never waivered and i really needed that.  I just wished I was able to show her how I really felt about her better than I did.  I made it my goal to at least tell her more often in addition to trying to show her.

I smiled at my husband.  "I know; we've gone through so much... I really shouldn't have these doubts," I said.  It was true.  Why question it when repeatedly he proved he would always be there for us?  "I love you Draco," I whispered softly.

I kissed her again as sweetly as I could.  "And I love you, Pansy.  Never doubt that," I replied honestly.