I was her number one. She told me so. And she still means the world to me..just so you know. Just be careful when you hold my girl. -- December 27th.

"Are you really that slow, Lilly?" I glared at her. "Your man gets here and it is like I am invisible now. Vernon didn't get so much as any type of love from mother, but YOUR man gets a freaking hug!" I just couldn't stand this. I was the older one. I was the one that should have all the support of my parents, not little Lilly. I looked at my parents. I felt sorry to them for doing this, but it was just the right thing for me. There was a part of me that told me to just stop now, but another part of me just had to keep pushing, even if it meant losing my parents. "I don't like the treatment you give Vernon and I. I see the way you look at Lilly, like she is the most perfect child in the world. When you look at you, you look at her with nothing but love and happiness. But you know what I see when you look at me?, all I see is pain, like you can't wait for me to be out of your life!" I felt tears stinging my eyes. Why did I just say that to my parents? Because it is the truth. That was the only rational thing my mind could come up with.

I raised my eyebrows, " So because James gets here and gets hello from mum and dad you decided now would be a good time to throw a fit?" I sighed not really wanting to fight but she left me no choice Iwas going to no matter what now. " I can't believe you said that to them. You want to know why they talk to me Petunia....because you and I used to be so close! and now ...just because Iwas accepted to Hogwarts and you weren't is the only reason you have stopped talking to me as much. Isn't that right. Thye don't see me and James and much as they do You both. But I do know that whenever they try to even hug Vernon he gets all uncomfortable and doesn't allow hug....he prefers a handshake. " I snapped. " I have noticed that ever since you started bringing him around!" I was getting angrier and angrier. I had to calm down. But Iwas not at my point yet so I kept going.

" Mum and dad have simply brought us both here to resolve some issues but because of your little tantrum just there...doesn't seem like that is going to happen doesn't it..." I said trying to not yell so much. I knew this was my parents house and I needed to stay a little calm. I was sitting here talking to them about my wedding coming up and because of petunia I didn't want this to be ruined. But I already knew this was going to happen. That is one of the reasons I didn't get to see my parents as much. Because it made the two of them uncomfortable. Now here she was lecturing our parents about being fair!? no not going to fly. " Petunia you started hating me because I got accepted to Hogwarts....and you're talking about fair?!" I was still angry beyond what I could believe. I knew I had to calm down which was why I was still sitting, i did fear though how this would go. James, Vernon and my dad were all in the kitchen but I am sure would come in here to see us fighting.

I couldn't believe the words coming out my my eldest daughters mouth. " Petunia Evans...you will not tell me how I feel about my children. I love you both, equally as I recall I have tried to give him any sort of love and I get brushed aside. Telling me that I think one of you is better than the other one. We have done nothing of the sort. Comparing you girls is something we have Never done. NEVER. We love you both. We had invited you both here because we wanted to have you both here. NOT ecause we wanted one here more than the other now girls SIT down. So we can have this conversation without raising voices. " The girls had not spoken very much ever since Lily was accepted to Hogwarts it broke our hearts when the girls stopped. There was nothing anyone could do without the risk of offending someone else. " You two need to realize you are sisters and will need each a lot more. Especially down the road when you both have children and when your father and I are no longer around. " I told them both I had tears in my eyes from my daughters fights a lot of the time. Lily has done a lot trying. She has I won't take that away from her. No I didn't know Petunia was feeling neglected at all. But when telling me I love one of them more than another that was not going to fly. I was not going to let her words make me stop talking. I didn't want to bring everyone in the house in this little squabble but I knew it would escalate and things would turn out badly soon. If not now.

I stared at Lilly. "Yes, Hogwarts is where it all starts. Don't you understand that I never felt special standing next to you?" I could feel the tears building up and I started to blink fast. "In mother's words, she loves us both equally, but in my eyes, I was always second to you. They were so proud of you, I had never seen them get so happy before." I sat down in my chair before my legs could actually give out on me. "I lost the only best friend I ever had, to a school full of people I'd never understand." I looked at Lilly. "I never showed it, but I cared for you and I did want to be there for you, but I just didn't know how to be after I reacted that first time, so I just stayed in the nature of you being a freak to me and I didn't know how to get out of that rut." I sighed. I knew it was probably to late for apologizes, especially after my recent blow-up, but I had to try at least.

I sighed as I sat in my chair, it was a rare occurrence that our mother ever really raised her voice. Normally she didn't need too. " So because you never felt special is the reason you've felt like I needed my life turned upside down to have my sister hate me?" I asked her unbelievable. Now, she pulls the I'm sorry bit and makes everyone forgive her. Ugh...I sighed, " They did it because it was different they didn't want to make me feel different..." I said simply. " They helped me with a lot of stuff....stuff that my big sister didn't want to hear about...and now because mother can't get a hug to your fiance you lose it? For such an odd reason petunia....really?" I wanted to know. I wasn't yelling I just needed to know.

"I know, I know. I am being ridiculous, aren't I?" I was correct in feeling like I was to far gone. I was also playing the blame game and I really shouldn't have been doing that. "I really don't know why the hug was the reason for me speaking out. It was like something finally snapped in me and I just needed to yell and I really should've just held it in, like everything I've ever held in." I looked at the ground. "There was a part of me that want to be there for you Lilly, but I just didn't know how to be. I didn't get to see you like I used to and I guess I really didn't know how to take it. I don't want to play the blame game, or the sorry game, but I am sorry I wasn't there for you." I looked up at her. "I don't expect you to forgive me right now, but I hope in time that you will."

I sighed I had gotten my emotions all blown up and it was difficult to just calm down at the drop of a dime. " It's fine....It's not like I spent most of my school life knowing that y family hate me..." I said simply. I wasn't going to start a fight, she has started this and dug up a lot of stuff, " Let's just continue with the reason why we're here." I said giving a small smile. This had always been difficult when she would explode she'd get it out then it would seem to help her. But yet I was not that easy to allow things to be dropped on a dime. " The weddings..." I said looking through a magazine, trying to calm my nerves down. Our mother looked like she was smiling again. I sighed, so I wasn't going to blow up although I had wanted too.

I really wanted to know what all was on Lilly's mind, I could there was more that she wanted to say, but when I saw that smile on my mother's face, I just couldn't bring myself to do so.

I grabbed the mens magazine full of tuxes and handed it to James. I really don't know my reason for hating him so much. Could it be because I had hated Lilly for so long for what she is, that once she found love, I had hated her mom? Did I hate him because I saw how happy he makes her? Maybe I was jealous of what she always had. My relationship with Vernon has never been anything like Lilly and James. There is no one like Vernon, and I know I love him, but I just wish that he would show our love with others around too.

Vernon wasn't sitting with us at the table, and I was fine with that. I moved closer to Lilly as we looked through the bridal magazine.

I sighed, I really wanted to say more. But I wasn't going too, we looked through the magazine and I was trying to stay calm but it just bugged me knowing that she can have her tantrum and then we just try our best to ignore it. It's what she has always done and no one seems to mind when she does this. Automatically supposed to forgive her and pretend its nothing. When it really bugs me.

I had come in when I heard the ladies arguing. I'd rather be in here with screaming women than in there with awkward Vernon. I took the magazine from Petunia and idled through the pages without looking. I was watching the three Evans ladies. I had a feeling this wasn't over...

I let out a breath, " I'm grabbing a tea anyone want one?" I asked everyone in the room. Hoping James would come with me, I needed a quick hug. Before I lose it on attempt of Petunia's tantrum part 2 when it would be coming up. Ugh. I walked into the kitchen to find the kettle finding it I filled it up and plugged it in and turned it on and grabbed some cups.

I set down the magazine and followed Lily. "I'll give you a hand," I said. I put my handon the small of her back. "Honey, you're doing great," I whispered to her until we got out of earshot of everyone.

I smiled, " thanks hun...I'm trying to....she is making this so hard." I said mumbling as I turned to face him. why is it always so difficult to see my family. Or yeah that's right I always need boxing gloves. " Ughhh...." I said as I put my face into his chest.

I wrapped my arms around Lily. "Honey... just grin and bear it," I said. "I mean... I have Vernon to deal with too..." I added wtih a smile. Trying to lighten the mood for her.

I'd take that aony day. " you take petunia...ill take pig man..." I said as I hated having these visits. The ones that made you hate it.leaning on him for support. " that sounds like a plan"