Panic Attack -- Summer 2013

I was going to be watching my daughter this afternoon while Lily went off to work.  I was a tad worried because Lyla was a little bit cranky lately.  I was always on her bad side and I did not know what I even did.  I looked at Lily.  "Hopefully I'll still be alive when you get home," I teased, knowing that I was just being overly dramatic.

I scowled, " Over dramatic much..." I smirked. I think I knew what was up, I only hoped James could actually handle this if it happened. I had told Lyla if I'm needed to call the hospital and I would call back as soon as I could. Grabbing my cloak, " Good Luck." I said as I gave him a kiss. Opening the door, I shook my head. " Hope he does okay.." I remember going through the same thing as Lyla...so I am pretty sure I'm right

"I'll need more than that," I said, giving her a kiss.  I watched her leave and sighed heavily.  I would leave Lyla alone as much as I could this afternoon.  I would stay out of her way as well.  The only thing I would do was let her know when I decided to make lunch.  I went about cleaning the house for a couple of hours, making sure things were all put away and done up nicely inside and out.  I entered the house again to find Lyla meandering about.  Great.  I had probably made too much noise or something.  "Hey sweetie... I was just gonna make some lunch.  Want anything?" I asked timidly.  It was extremely difficult to read what my daughter's expression was.

I wanted to make fun of the way that Dad was looking at me, but I had bigger problems on my hands.  I felt extremely self conscious.  "Er... where's Mum?" I asked, really preferring to talk to her about this.  I was hoping that she had not left for work already, but I glanced at the clock and realized it was that time.  Maybe Dad had convinced her not to go in for fear that I would attack him or something.  Which was quite likely if he did not answer me quickly.  Why was he hesitating so much?  It was driving me insane.  "Okay, fine.  Don't answer.  C'mon Dad, it was a simple question."  I rolled my eyes at him and crossed my arms.

She barely gave me ten seconds to answer her!  I wanted to scream and pull my hair out.  "She's at work," I replied, a little snippier than I wanted to be.  I could see immediately that it hurt Lyla's feelings as tears started in her eyes.  What the bloody hell?  "I can help you, though," I added in softer tones, moving towards her to at least attempt to comfort her.

When he bit my head off for no reason, I was caught off guard.  He was being such a jerk!  I hated how it brought tears to my eyes so quickly.  When he moved closer to me, I stepped back.  "I really need Mum for this," I replied.

I ran a hand through my hair.  I stopped approaching her as it seemed like I had cooties to her or something.  I sighed, not really wanting to interrupt Lily at work... but I may have to.  "Ly, do we really need to get your Mum for this?  I'm here... I do know how to handle things," I informed her.  I was not completely unable to handle problems.

I nearly screamed at him out of frustration.  "Well, you're not handling this very well, are you?" I countered, rolling my eyes.  "I just... just get me Mum, okay?  Only she can help me with this."  I gave him a look and went to storm away when what he said next froze me to the spot.

With the way her mood was switching from one thing to the next, one would think she was... then it clicked.  I got a little smile on my face.  "Honey... did you start your period?" I asked her kindly.  That definitely was something that Lily needed to take care of.  Me, I was good for grabbing the chocolate, throwing it in their general direction and hightailing it out of there.  That was what I did when I knew Ember was going when I was a kid.

I turned around, horrified.  My jaw literally dropped.  "How dare you ask me that!" I shouted, tears in my eyes again.  of course, he was right.  Which was why I needed Mum.  Like... now.  "You are such a jerk, Dad!"  With that, I ran upstairs in tears to my bedroom.

I was not expecting that.  I let her go upstairs and I went and jotted a note to Sirius.  He had a daughter... maybe he knew how to handle all of this.  I could not handle it.  I was going to kill her or something.  Or she was going to kill me.  I grabbed a quill and wrote:

Sirius, mate, I need your help.  Get over here quickly, please... I don't think I'm going to survive on my own much longer.  James


That seemed urgent enough.  I sent it with our owl and hoped that he got it quickly and would come over.

I d been lazing about the house not really sure what to do with myself. I noticed James' owl, letting him in the house I took the letter. I barked out a laugh, " Does Lyla have a boyfriend or something?" I wondered aloud. I quickly scratched a note down for Ember to let her know where I was when she got home.

James is having an apparent emergency and needs me to go over...so that is where I am....I'll see you later, love you, padfoot

I put it on the fridge, I had gotten so used to leaving padfoot on notes it was just to damn hard to break so I didn't bother. I grabbed my cloak and headed over to James and Lily's place. I walked in to see James looking a little stressed. " What's the emergency?"

I wanted to just hug Sirius for coming so quickly.  "Thank Merlin you're here," I said, running a hand through my hair.  "I swear Ly is going to kill me -- she called me a jerk!  Me!  A jerk!  It's going to kill me the day that she says that she hates me for the first time..." I realized that I was being dramatic about this, but my daughter and I always were on good terms.  We hardly ever fought.  I looked at Sirius.  "But you have a daughter... This had to have happened to you when Ems wasn't home.  What'd you do when Lenni... er, did things?"

I raised my eyebrows as he said did things. " What do you mean things?" I asked him. " Of course I have been a jerk to lenni. I have been a few things at times. " I went on. He looked almost at the end of his wits. "first hate you wasn't as bad as I anticipated..."

I really did not want to say it aloud in fear that my daughter was lurking around instead of upstairs crying in her bed.  I glanced around nervously.  "You know, mate.  Girl things," I said, hoping that he would not be as thick as we normally were with these types of situations.  Just for once.  "Yeah, but you were used to getting 'I hate yous' from Dean, weren't you?"  I had to crack a slight joke, though I was not entirely sure if Sirius would find it funny.