Thousand disbelievers couldn't keep me on the ground..--- February 2017---

I watched as the other people left the room, I took a seat in front of Remus' desk. " So, what can be done to try to help Lyla?" I asked him. This has happened to me, I had desperately hoped it wouldn't to my daughter. I would make them pay just when I could see more logic other than just currently seeing red. IT didn't help I had a wicked temper.

Remus looking back at me, he looked tired. I know he had to try to accommodate to three parties. That was not an easy thing to do. Did I want the little punk dealt with. Of course I did. Did I see the as an option. No I didn't and won't because he is a child. Who should have severe consequences. " I want to know what she can do..." I said hoping he knew why I was so adamant about her getting help. I hadn't told my daughter about what happened to me when I was her age because I had hoped this terrible event wouldn't happen to her. Sadly, my hoping came to end when we got the letter to be where we are now. " Any sort of counseling where she can talk to someone if she wants too..." I asked.

" I know we want severe consequences, hoping isn't going to happen. We know what is being done...I am certain if something does happen he will end up being booted out?"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.  "Please... if Remus was going to expel him, he already would have.  Just look at him, Lily. he doesn't give a shit about any of this.  He just wants to brush this under the rug like Dumbledore did with you three.  He's weak, doesn't want any confrontation, and a coward unwilling to stand up for what's right," I said, shaking my head.

I clenched my jaw and it took all of my power to ignore prongs at the moment.  I knew he was angry and he did not mean what he was saying, but that did not mean that I did not want to yell back or hit him for it.  I looked at Lily, trying to completely ignore James and not even look at him.  "I will make sure that Lyla gets all the help she will need to handle this.  Whatever she needs I will do my best to make sure she gets -- so long as it's within reason," I added, giving Lyla a pointed look.  My gaze retured to lily.  "Yes... he is on an extremely short leash and I will expel him if something -- anything -- happens where he breaks any rules."  I kept hearing James muttering under his breath about me and what I was not doing and I finally snapped.  I stood up and made it around my desk before I could stop myself.  Thank Merlin I regained some control before slamming James into the wall or something.  "You don't think I don't know how much it hurts the victim to believe that nothing is being done for them?  I was with Chloe then, James.  I saw what this did to her -- to them.  I am done dealing with your attitude.  I will do everything in my power within reason to make sure that Lyla gets what she needs so this is not pushed to the side or her dealing with it on her own."  The hand gripping the edge of my desk hurt and I realized my nails were digging into the wood and my knuckles were white.  Thanks to Boris, I knew that my grip was so tight that it would leave marks on my desk and blodo on my fingers.

Lyla didnt know anything about what had happened in the past and I preferred to keep it that way. Now he brings it up. " James, calm down...were going to talk now. Calling us here alone proves the ridiculous theory that he doesn't care...hun, he has to make three parties okay. It is not easily done...i do it constantly at the hospital...it is hard to do. Right now, it is beyond all reason to see it. I know once you calm down you'll start to think normally again. He is our friend and the head master of the school. Its a tiring job, most of the time we wouldn't give as much information as we've gotten. " I said as I turned my attention to Remus. " what can she do?" Seeing the pair losing their temper. " All right enough the pair of you." I clapped my hands on my chair. " you are friends and you are angry. We are here to find a good solution for your niece, and daughter and one of your students. " Sit down...both of you..." I know its Remus' office but I was going to be the mother hen I guess. " Lyla please wait behind the door. I'll call you in once we've all calmed down some. "

I had no idea what anyone was talking about beyond the fact that they were speaking of me as if I was not there anyways.  I had never seen any of them this angry or upset.  I was so confused and scared and hurt.  I just wanted to go lie down and curl up in Xander's arms... which was not about to happen unless I snuck off campus.  I nodded at my mum.  "Okay..." I said slowly, standing up and going out of the office.  There was no way I wanted to be in the middle of all of that.  I just hoped that no one would return so I would not have to deal with anybody.

I took a few deep breaths and returned to my chair, knowing it was uncharacteristic of me to lose my temper like that.  I already felt the stinging in my fingers that told me they did obtain some damage.  I ignored them for the time being, placing that hand on my thigh beneath the desk so as to try to deter Lily from wanting to look at it like the Healer in her would want to do.  I looked at Lily as I spoke.  "I will be looking into getting somebody here as soon as possible that Lyla can talk to.  If she doesn't like the first person that I get, we will find someone she can trust enough to ope up to -- I don't care if I go through twenty counselors, I wont' force Lyla to speak to someone she doesn't like about this," I replied.  "As for schooling in general, I honestly will have to take it one day at a time as to how to handle this -- so just be prepared to get an owl if some of the things change from what I said from tonight.  Of course, it'd be changing mostly with Dorian and not Lyla, but you would have the right to know."  I ran my good hand through my hair.  I chanced a glance back at James and saw that he had at least listened to Lily and sat down and shut up.  But I knew what was still running through his mind.

I listened to Lily and sat down, staying quiet.  But I took pleasure in the thoughts I was having.  I crossed my arms and glared at Remus.  How I wanted him to not stop at the edge of his desk and come at me so I could hit him square in the jaw.  I sat there, letting the two of them speak to each other all the while I imagined what harm I could inflict on Remus... then the realization hit me.  He was one of my best mates -- I should not be thinking like this.  I took my eyes off of him and looked down at my hands, seeing the scars on my wrists peeking from beneath my sleeves.  This was not me.  I did not go around wanting to hurt my mates.  But here I was thinking just that.  I stood up and moved to the back of the office.  "You two finish discussing everything.  I can't stay in here.  I'm going to check on Ly," I said quietly.  I knew if I stayed I would continue to be pissed off and unable to controlw hat was said.

I looked over to James as he left the room, I gave him a small smile and turned back to Remus. " Okay, I just don't want it to repeat...I mean, for us it did...and I don't like knowing she has had this happen. " I told him. " As long as she is okay with it. I will be all right with it." I said to Remus. Did I want the Malfoy's to get lost of course I did. Unfortunately, they won't he has rights to go here too. I just hope Lyla is all right with this. She hopefully doesn't feel like Remus hung her out to dry. Noticing his reactions, " Remus...no one was going to leave here happy.." I tried to reassure him in a small way. I know he had to deal with stress of being headmaster but I didn't want Lyla to feel like she wasn't safe.

I understood what Lily meant.  I was grateful that James left -- I really did not want to deal with his temper at the moment.  I was starting to think that this job was taking it's toll on me and I was not entirely sure if I could handle this anymore.  I nodded as she spoke.  "You have to know that Lyla is my main concern here... but I can't just jump to the worst case scenario with people.  If Dumbledore would have done that with me -- I wouldn't be here today, that I know," I said quietly.  I was probably naive to give people so many chances in life, but I had been given the chance to prove that the curse did not make me who I am -- though, nowadays it was harder and harder to prove.  "I will make sure that she is safe and feels that way."

I saw that Lyla looked uncomfortable just standing outside the office.  I walked over to her and brought her into an embrace where it seemed like she practically melted into my arms.  she seemed so fragile and like at any moment she could break.  I kissed the top of her head.  "We'll make sure everything is okay, sweetie," I told her soothingly.  "Whatever you want -- we'll make sure it happens one way or another."

I was happy that either mum or dad had come out to check on me.  I held onto my dad tightly and let the tears I had been fighting fall.  I looked up at him.  "Do you think Uncle Remus will let me come home for a little bit?  Just like a few days?  I don't think I want to be at school with him right now... I understand the way things have to be... but I just don't want to be around anyone really.  I'll make up the schoolwork and everything; I just want to go home," I said, my voice sounding so small and scared.  It hardly ever sounded like that.

Nodding to Remus, " I understand...it's not easy to make all parties happy. We both know she is....just emotions run a little high....sometimes. " I explained as if he didn't know that already. Smiling, " I'm glad she will feel safe...is there anyway we can take her home for a couple of days....Just to cool things down. I know you know what she is going through right now. We would really appreciate it if she can come home with us for at least three days....more a week at least. She would get her homework and do it at home. ITs just to have things die down a bit. Let her come into herself again..." I explained. This was not easy on me and I would ask for the same treatment we received from Albus.

I squeezed my daughter tightly and sighed.  "I will make sure you can come home.  While they're talking in there, would you like to go pack a few things?  I'll can go with you if you don't want to be alone?" I asked.  I was not sure if Lyla would want to be seen wtih her dad, though.  Maybe she would want to go by herself.  I was not going to wait for permission from Remus on whether or not my daughter could spend a few days away from the castle.  it was just giong to happen.

I nodded, understanding completely.  "She can take all the time seh needs," I assured Lily.  "You don' tneed to worry.  There is only one professor I can see being an issue, but since I'm headmaster... he'll just have ot deal with it."  Of course I was speaking of Snape.  He hated the fact that I was Headmaster, but it was not as though I flaunted it unnecessarily over his head.  This case I would, though, for Lyla's sake.  I looked at Lily and ran a hand through my hair.  "You'll let me know how she's doing... and when she would like to start going to therapy and stuff.  You guys can get going, if you want.  I'll let you tell James -- I don't think it wise if we see each other at the moment.  I don't want to lose control like I almost did.  Unless there's anything else you want to address...?" I did not want it to seem like I was forcing her to leave, but I also knew that the sooner Lyla was at home, the better it would make them all feel.

I stood up, " Thank you....we'll keep you posted for sure." I said walking around his desk to give him a hug. I didn't care about protocol or anything like that. I appreciated it, I also hugged Albus when we were in this position. I smiled, " It's hard..we know...thank you Remus." I opened the door and pulled it shut behind me. I easily found James and our daughter. " Let's get to the tower so you can get some things for homework." I said to the pair who seemed to look at me with surprised faces.