We weren't born to follow....come on and get up off your knees...hold on to what you believe-- December 15 1998

I was at the back of hte castle with George and other students.  I heard a blast and saw blood being sprayed everywhere and George's limp body falling to the ground.  I saw Darwin moving in for what could easily be hte final blow when I stepped in.  I flew him backwards with a curse.  "Get away from him!" I shouted, warning him to back off.  I knew these people; I knew that the warning was futile; I knew that Darwin would come after me now.  But better me than George who could no longer defend himself.  I unfortunately could not check on him or else I would go down as well seeing that Darwin came at me with no hesitation.

I shoved James off of me and hit him with a curse that tore his chest up.  I took pleasure in the sight of the blood that soaked his shirt.  I was quite impressed that it did not seem to phase him, though.  he continued to come towards me and I tackled him to the ground.  "This primal instinct to hurt me -- to kill me -- makes us much more alike than you ever want to believe, my friend," I said, egging him on.

I was blinded by pain.  I was not entirely sure what was going on.  I was gripping the side of my head where I felt a lot of blood and I was extremely dizzy.  I wanted to find something or somewhere to be to try to help myself.  I started to crawl the best I could, though I could not open my eyes due to the pain and I ended up just collapsing onto the ground.  The last thought on my mind was that I hoped Elena knew how much I loved her before I was engrossed in unconsciousness.

We had gotten inside the castle, what we saw tore me apart. So many people giving their life for us to find the horcrux. It took me a lot to say us, I felt like it was my fault everyone was going through this pain. I hope Ginny is all right. I peered around a corner to have a spell shot at me, tearing the brick apart. " Watch out!" I took Ron and Hermione's arms and pulled them back to avoid a spell that just missed them. " We have to find McGonagall or Remus. We need time to find it. " I finished my sentence early by being hit across the corridor hitting the wall and dropping to ground. " RUN!"

Harry pulled us back as we gained our composure for half a second. IT was quickly taken away when Harry was blasted. I quickly took Ron's hand and held so tight I thought I may have broken some bones in his hand. Harry got up and shouted run. We didn't need to be told twice. We all took off running down the corridor as we heard more screams. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a few students being attacked "Rictusempra!" continuing running, sadly I had caught the attention of a few death eaters and it wasn't the wisest decision.

I had been covering the Gryffindor tower with a few others like Seamus and Dean, we had a few other order members with us. It was quiet and we heard it start. Screaming and explosions shook the place we cared for so much. I hoped Harry and the others were okay, " We can do this guys.." I said my normal volume. IT isn't like they couldn't hear me. We had McGonagall with us, thankfully. Knowing she was here gave me a little comfort. The explosions were coming closer, I hoped everyone is okay. I would be broken if I lost someone.

I walked out of the shadows, stepping over the student I just finished brutally attacking.  I smirked at Lupin as I walked towards him, knowing that he was weak and unable to bring himsel fto kill me.  He might harm me, but he would never kill me -- that would take something he refused to admit he had within him.  I was about to lunge at him when there was shouting for the Headmaster.  I knew that he would be easily distracted.  "We shall continue this..." I said, slipping away to cause more damage.  I knew that he would not follow me due to the fact that students needed him.

"C'mon!" I said, knowing that we wanted to help everyone but unable to do so due to the fact that we had to find that horcrux.  I heard some students calling for Professor Lupin that was apparently close by.  "Harry!  Lupin!" I shouted, pointing with my free hand the direction that it seemed like Lupin was.  I never let go of Hermione's hand.

I cried out when the spell hit me, splitting my skin open and blood soaking my shirt.  Peter did nto deserve to hear me respond to him egging me on.  I knew that he was probably right, but right now I wanted to be in denial.  I lunged at him and ended up slamming him into the ground.  I slammed his head against the floor of the Entrance Hall over and over again, seeing blood start to pool beneath him.  He still struggled against me and my hands went to his throat.  I watched as the light began to fade from his eyes.  I felt pleasure in seeing him dying under my hands.  I knew that this would change me forever from who I was; but it needed to be done.  he did so much to me during the yeras -- so much to Lily.  He took us away from our child... kept us alive for his own pleasure... There was no reason he needed to continue feeding off the scum of the earth.  He stopped struggling against me and I stood up, panting, the realization hitting me that I just killed one of my old mates.  There was a blast above my head, the stone coming down around me, that made me come to my senses; I did not ahve time to deal with my second thoughts about the life I just took.

I was growing tired of this, my patience wearing thin. " You know.. I think we'll let them clean their dead....and give them the opportunity for saving lives." I sneered, looking back to the castle that stood before us. I held my wand to my throat and spoke, " You have one hour to clean up you're wounded and the dead.....give me Harry Potter and you all will live...." I pulled my wand back down to my side. Looking around me, " That should give us what we want."

I stood there while I watched the surviving Death Eaters vanish -- where, I was not sure.  I needed to find Lily.  I saw devastation and so many younger kids hurt and helping move people to the Great Hall.  I joined in on that effort and helped get people into the Great Hall to account for injuries and such.  I kenw that when Lily saw me she would freak out and get all concerned.  I needed to find Harry, though.  I wanted to talk to him.  He would want guidance -- I knew how he was.  he thought that all of this was his fault.  In a manner of speaking, I understood what he was thinking in that sense... but he needed to know that this was not his fault.  Voldemort was a psychopath who would have done this with or without Harry.

I knew I had to account for so many people -- they had to be okay.  Where was Chloe and the kids?  I started to gete veryone to head towards the Great Hall.  I knew Poppy was down there now and would help take care of the wounded.  I was headed in that direction when I saw Ayden without Lucy but carrying somebody.  My heart dropped because in my mind I thought it was definitely my little girl -- then I got closer to find that it was Stephanie.  Not that it did not pain me to see my students gone, but it was not my daughter.  So where was she?  "Ayden!  Let me take her... where's Lucy?" I said, seeing that he was having a hard time with her.  Not that he could nto carry her -- but it was clear that she died at the hands of his father.

I managed to get my way to the Great Hall, to help an way I could. I walked in and noticed everyone was so torn apart. Students all around me were calling for attention, I took a breath and went to work, I heard Voldemort talking and he said give up Harry Potter. No. Not going to happen. Not if I have anything to say about that. I peered around and saw Ember, my eyes instantly started to become foggy. " Em..." I said quietly in a whisper. I rushed faster and faster until I met up with her almost at the point of hysteria. " He can't...he just....he can't" I said as I clutched to one of my best friends.

When Darwin apparated off of the grounds, I rushed back towards George.  He did not look good.  I could not tell if he was even alive.  I grabbed him and carried him to the castle.  it was a struggle, but I was not going to leave him out there.  When I got inside, one of the Weasley older brothers saw me and rushed towards us.  He helped me get George to the Great Hall.  I wanted to find Stephanie and everyone else.  See if there was any way I could help the wounded.

The havoc of running through people died down as Tom spoke. I stopped when he mentioned give us Harry Potter and you all can live. I looked to Ron, then to Hermione " I need to go....you guys need to find the diadem and destroy it." I told them and I knew they were going to argue with me. I gave them a smile, hoping they knew I was right. If I could stop all the deaths I was going to do it. " I need you guys to find it....'Mione you know what I need to do." I said holding the stone in my pocket. Hoping she knew about my plan already. " You guys destroy it and I will do my part...I need to do it guys....now I need to find my dad..." I told them. Hoping he knew I was going to do it. I pulled them both into a hug as I took off to the Great Hall knowing Ron and Hermione would follow me to see about everyone then they will go find the diadem.

This is where it will end, the diadem, Nagini....and Me. The connection between the two of us. I hoped my idea worked. I really did. If it didn't...Shaking my head, I can't afford to think that way. Getting to the Great Hall, and it was terrible site to see. Everyone just getting medical attention. Catching there breath, when I heard it. He's the one they want just get him.....give him to them and it will stop! It was a little easier to ignore them and stopping to see if anyone would come near me. Ginny came rushing toward me and stepped in front. This is weird. Slowly people joined her, everyone that heard the rants from the slytherins.