My disguise and excuses have worn so thin -- Summer 1994

I smiled at her, finishing my wine.  "Well," I said, giving Annette a very insinuating look.  I stood up and offered her my hand.  I expected her to hesitate like the way she did in the kitchen, but she did not.  Perhaps things would end up being alright for the time being.  I held onto her as she stood up and the water dripped down her beautiful body.  I moved closer to her and wrapped my arms around her glistening body, pulling her closer to me, still standing in the tub.  I started to kiss her and felt her hands undoing my shirt, sliding it off of my shoulders.  I let go of her to let the shirt fall off of my arms and I lifted her out of the tub, water splashing onto the floor.

He used to be spontaneous like this all the time... though I was still uneasy about what had been on his mind, I pushed those thoughts to the side.  I just wanted to be us again.  He carried me, my legs around his waist, to the bedroom... making a little trail of dripping water as we went.  Neither one of us cared about that.  Our tongues were too busy exploring each other's mouths.  He laid me down onto the bed, staying atop of me, lips trailing down my neck and to my breats.

I only stopped kissing Annette to undress myself.  My lips and tongue trailed down her body.  I teased her by kissing the insides of her thighs gently, nipping a little bit.  I was enjoying myself when I heard her moan slightly.  I started to go north slightly again and then found her spot.  She started to moan even more loudly and moved her hips towards me.  My tongue explored her easily; I knew how to make her happy.  Right when she started to get more excited, I stopped.  I finally entered her, thrusting deep into her slowly at first and then we started to increase tempo as our passion climbed.

He thrust into me suddenly, making me gasp with pleasure.  I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him in deeper with each thrust.  My nails dug into his back slightly as the passion climbed.  I rolled us over and was straddling him.  I moved my hips, rotating them slightly.  I could see the pleasure on Bill's face as we climbed higher and higher in our passion.  I leaned down and kissed him, biting at his neck a little bit.

My hands were on her hips, heliping to guide her as we both moved together.  We matched each other and then we both made it over the top and Ann fell onto the bed beside me and we lay there panting.

I moved and propped myself on my elbow, looking over at Bill.  "What was that?" I asked brethlessly.  I enjoyed it, but I had no idea what he had been doing.

I just looked at her.  "What was what?" I questioned.  I really did not want to have drawn out converstaions about what was going through my mind.

I hated when Bill did that.  "You know exactly what," I said to him.  "You haven't done something like that in a long time... you just seem off."

I sighed and stretched out a little bit more on the bed.  "I just know that I've been being neglectful," I said to her without completely lying.

I sighed, not entirely sure if he was being truthful.  I snuggled in closer to him, trying to ignore the fact that he tensed slightly when I did so.  "Bill... is there something wrong?  I just don't feel connected anymore," I said to him quietly.

I looked over at Annie.  "Don't worry about it," I said to her, quietly dismissing her worries.  "It's getting late."  I just did not want to talk about my doubts.

I sighed and got out of bed.  Partially to go to the restroom, partially to get clothes on.  When he got like this, I felt vulnerable and I did not want to be naked in front of him -- physically or emotionally.  When I returned to the bed, I was wearing boxer shorts and a tank.  I laid in bed and rolled so my back was facing Bill.  It would help to hide my tears.  Since the babies, things seemed different with him.

I wished I could do something to help ease Ann's thoughts, but I could not.  I rolled over as I knew that she did not want to deal with me anymore.  I could hear her sniffling and I felt like such a cunt.  I reached over to rub her arm, but I felt her shy away from me.  I ended up getting up and going into the twins' bedroom.  They were both sleeping so soundly.